ANOTHER ONE

i know i have been flooding my readers with blogs everyday but when my life is complicated, this is how i let shit go.. yesterday was by far the most complicated day in my life all year.. I cried ((which i seldom do)) and I have no reason why I was crying.. that's the lame part.. but with all this mess going on with my parents, my niece, my personal life.. i think I was long overdue to drop a few tears.. i'm just glad i was alone when I did it..

so i've been thinking of ways that i have improved myself over the last year.. thinking back to April 2009, I think I have done a lot of changing in my life.. One, I learned not to yell as much.. maybe because i am tired of it.. the last three months before Michael went to jail last time.. April.. May.. June.. were horrible.. i damn near had no voice from always yelling and screaming at him all of the time.. nothing was ever the way I wanted it to be and we were always upset with each other.. so I learned that yelling, doesn't do well..

another way I have improved myself on the anger spectrum.. is that i do not let things get to me that easily.. from my past relationship i learned that you can not make anyone do something they do not want to do.. from that.. i learned to calm down.. even tho it has been a few times where i wanted to bust a few heads open.. i listened to Mariah when she said.. "let me take a breath... and regain my composure.." gotta let the things I have no control over take its course and if i do not like it.. i remove myself from the situation.

In the relationship spectrum, i have learned to listen.. listen to what the other person is feeling, what they have to say.. and choose my actions and plans from there.. i have also learned to be careful with who you hand your heart to because everyone's intentions are different..

there are still things about me that i want to improve..
my organization skills have been better but i still wish to improve them..
my thoughts.. the way i feel.. i wish to learn how to express them..
being a neater person.. my room looks like a tornado hit it right now..
my relationships.. i need to appreciate them more
my schooling.. i need to be more focused..