NEW YEARS...

iM just glad this year is over.. 2008 was a hard year.. dealin with tryin 2 heal from the accident... 2009 was hard too.. with michael leavin.. 2 finding out im gonna have a niece with two incarcerated parents.. 2 finding out im damn near deaf in my left ear.. 2 just trying to survive in this 2nd Great Depression.. I'm know with the economy still at its worse that 2010 is going to be a struggle but i've never felt more prepared f0r what will c0me my way.. im m0re prepared.. im excited to see my niece.. im a little scared because i have never been a parent and i want her to know that she's loved although she has two parents who aint all there.. lol.. im excited to see where my love life will take me.. marriage or will it end.. honestly im terrified to marry anyone.. when your younger you think about it and be like oh my bf is my hubby... but when your actually confronted with the possibility its kinda scary.. and then with him having a background.. i mean im not trying to knock him but still.. i gotta think before i proceed.. lol oh and im excited for the classes that i have left.. i'm not gonna graduate this year like i was supposed to.. i will in 2011 but i am excited that i am on the right track.. this year i need to start taking the Cbest so that in 2011 i can start taking the CSET.. [[for you who dont know im going to school to be a teacher]].. pretty much.. i think ive been at my lowest already so even though i know im not going to be rich in 2010 and i may still struggle a little.. i know that i am ready.. i learned when the bad times come you still have to be optimistic.. because if your negative... then you will not survive.. i try to learn from my mistakes.. sometimes it takes a few times of failing before you succeed.. but at least you succeed.. so basically.. i know that you never go into a new year with a blank slate like some people say (you dont come into the world with a blank slate) because your debts, drama, problems... will follow you into the new year.. but i do know that i am going into the new year prepared for whatever will be sent my way.. i hope everyone has a great new years eve and be safe!

J

I miss u

sooooo much! 2010 hurry hurry hurry!

CHRISTMAS/MY BDAY

T0DAY WAS AN ALRIGHT DAY.. FIRST AND F0REM0ST ID LIKE T0 SAY THANKS T0 EVERY0NE WH0 WISHED ME A HAPPY BIRTHDAY AND MERRY CHRISTMAS.. I HAD A PRETTY RELAXED DAY.. STAYED IN BED HALF THE DAY.. BUT ITS 0KAY.. WHAT I REALLY WANTED F0R CHRISTMAS WAS T0 BE ABLE 2 VISIT 0R AT LEAST TALK TO MY H0NEY BUT SINCE THAT WAS N0T P0SSIBLE.. I DECIDED I JUST WANTED T0 HAVE A STRESS FREE DAY.. S0 I ENJ0YED MY DAY.. THEN AT NIGHT MY C0USIN MARISSA T00K ME 0UT T0 SEE THE BLIND SIDE.. ME, MY SISTER STEPHANIE, AND HER WENT.. I LIKED THE M0VIE.. IT WAS PRETTY G0OOD.. OVERALL I JUST HAD A REALLY CHILL DAY.. D0NT HAVE MUCH T0 SAY BESIDES I H0PE EVERY0NE ELSE DID T00.. 0KAY G0TTA G0 T0 SLEEP BECAUSE I HAVE W0RK IN THE M0RNING.. G00D NITE!!

ALWAYS,
JASMiNE

John's Incredible Pizza

So today was my nephew Jordan's birthday so we went to John's incredible Pizza.. we had so much fun.. We won 3300 Tickets and we had so much fun.. it was a great birthday party!! I havent been out with my cousins in i dont know how long and it was a great way to be without my man this christmas. Now were gonna get on for the night and then tomorrow were going to watch a great movie!! okay well basically thats about it that were going to do tonight.. My birthday is tomorrow and i'm going to be 22! yay!! well scratch that.. were not going to drink tanite.. were going to go to the movies!! yay!!

Frm My H0NEy

A GOOD WOMAN IS HARD TO FIND
A TIME WORN PHRASE TO BE TRUE
THATS WHY I FEEL SO FORTUNATE
THE WOMAN I FOUND WAS YOU
FOR YOU HAVE ALL THE QUALITIES
THAT SET A WOMAN APART
QUALITIES THAT IVE ADMIRED
SINCE I GAVE YOU MY HEART
HONESTY, KINDNESS, AND GENEROUSITY
THATS WHY YOU GO BEYOND MY WORDS
TO SHOW YOUR LOVE FOR ME
THE DAYS YOU MAKE ME GRATEFUL
WITH YOUR FRIENDSHIP AND LAUGHTER
THE NIGHS YOU MAKE ME SURE
I'VE FOUND MY HAPPY EVER AFTER
I MUST HAVE MADE A WISH ON NIGHT
ON HEAVENS LUCKIEST STAR
TO FIND THE PERFECT WOMAN FOR ME
BECAUSE THATS WHAT YOU ARE..


I L0VE HIM..

FiNALS & PLANS 4 NEXT YEAR..

S0 THIS WH0LE SEMESTER AND WRITING FIVE PAPERS ABSOLUTELY SUCKS. I GOT 3 DOWN JUST THE TWO BIG ONES LEFT.. IM GOING TO DIE I AM SO FREAKIN TIRED.. I MISS MY H0NEY S0 MUCH RIGHT N0W.. IN A WAY ITS G00D WERE N0T T0GETHER RIGHT N0W BECAUSE THAT W0ULD BE A BIG DISTRACTI0N BUT THEN AGAIN WH0SE G0NNA TAKE ME 0UT T0 CELEBRATE FINALS BEING 0VER THIS SEMESTER?! UGH.. WELL THATS ALL I HAVE 2 SAY AB0UT FINALS..

0KAY F0R NEXT YEAR.. I D0NT REALLY MAKE NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS ARE A BUNCH OF FREAKIN LIES PEOPLE TELL THERE SELVES.. BUT I WILL SAY WHAT I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO..

FIRST.. I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO MEETING MY NEW LIL NIECE/NEPHEW.. I DONT KNOW WHEN HE/SHE WILL ARRIVE BUT I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO THAT.. I WANT TO BE ABLE TO GIVE HIM/HER THE BEST LIFE THAT I CAN PROVIDE GIVEN THE CIRCUMSTANCES..

SECOND.. I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO MY LOVES HOMECOMING.. I DONT REALLY KNOW WHAT TO EXPECT.. IM SCARED AND NERVOUS.. BUT ALSO EXCITED AT THE SAME TIME..

THIRD.. I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO COMPLETING ANOTHER YEAR OF SCHOOL.. WHICH WILL BRING ME CLOSER TO WALKING ACROSS THAT STAGE AND COMPLETING MY BACHELORS DEGREE...

FOURTH I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO MOVING.. THIS YEAR WAS A MESS.. UNSTABILITY.. MOVING MOVING MOVING.. THATS ALL WE DID THIS YEAR... NEVER FELT STABLE.. SO I AM REALLY EXCITED TO BE ON MY OWN.. NOT NO ROOMATES.. NOT NOBODY.. ME, MYSELF, AND I.

AND UMMM... I THINK THATS ABOUT IT FOR NOW.. IM ABOUT TO HEAD TO MY HOUSE AND GET READY 4 WORK.. CANT WAIT TILL THIS WEEK IS OVER SO I CAN FINALLY SLEEEEEEEEEEEEP.

At NiGHT

I lie awake and think..
I think about you...
I wonder if you're okay...

At night I wish you were here...
To stop the tossing and turning....
To stop the nightmares....
To wipe away the tears...

At night I start to think...
How our actions cause consequences...
How our decisions shape our Future...
How love brings us together...

At night I cry...
Because I can't talk to u when I'm feeling down
Because I can't wake up to your beautiful face
Because my heart is not beating

At night I sleep...
Because each night that passes brings us closer together

At night we meet....
In every dream

At night I forget about all of the stresses of the day and remember that when night passes it brings us a little Closer...

....a little closer to meeting you...

At night

TH0UGHTS

I D0NT KN0W WHY FEMALES HATE ME... H0NESTLY MY LIFE IS A MESS.. 0KAY S0 I G0T A CAR.. G0T A J0B.. G0 2 SCH00L.. SUREEE.. BUT T0 ME.. THATS JUST THE BARE MINIMUM.. ITS LIKE MINIMUM WAGE.. YEAH IMMA GET AN APARTMENT IN JANUARY.. BUT ITS STILL MINIMUM TO ME.. YES I HAVE THE MAN 0F MY DREAMS.. BUT L00K WHAT I G0TTA G0 THR0UGH T0 KEEP HIM... I G0TTA G0 AB0VE AND BEY0ND.. I G0TTA BE 10 STEPS AHEAD 0F Y0U SIMPLE BITCHES.. I G0TTA BE WAYYYYYYYYY BETTER THAN THE LAST.. I D0NT UNDERSTAND THE WH0LE.. 0H.. ILL JUST HAVE MY FRIEND ADD Y0U S0 I CAN SEE WHATS 0N Y0UR PAGE.. WDF!?!?!?! ADD ME Y0URSELF!! IF Y0UR THAT N0SEY AND Y0U JUST G0TTA SEE... IM N0T G0NNA DENY Y0U THAT.. I MEAN H0NESTLY.. THERE AINT N0THIN 0N MY PAGE W0RTH BEING A SECRET DETECTIVE AB0UT.. Y0U WANNA C MY PICTURES... I D0NT PUT N0 PICS 0F ME AND MICHAEL T0GETHER.. I D0NT PUT N0 PICTURES 0F MICHAEL THAT HE D0NT HAVE 0N HIS PAGE... S0 WHAT ARE Y0U SAYIN?! THAT Y0UR BASICALLY WASTIN MY TIME AND Y0URS.. UGH.. I REALLY THINK THAT N0 0NE IS 0N THE SAME LEVEL AS ME.. H0NESTLY.. IM MATURE EN0UGH T0 THINK LIKE THAT BECAUSE I AM EDUCATED.. M0ST 0F Y0U H0ES PLAYIN THESE GAMES AINT SHIT.. MAYBE IF Y0U WAS W0RKIN AND G0IN 2 SCH00L Y0U W0ULDNT HAVE TIME T0 W0RRY AB0UT ME.. AND F0R FAMILY MEMBERS STILL 0N THIS GAME SHIT.. ST0P IT.. BY N0W WE ALL KN0W THAT N0 MATTER WHAT Y0U D0.. IM N0T G0ING ANYWHERE.. WE ALL KN0W THAT IF I WAS.. HE W0ULDNT BE SENDIN HIS THINGS H0ME T0 ME.. THE ENEMY.. WDF.. BUT YEP.. BASICALLY THATS IT.. THAT I G0TTA SAY RIGHT N0W..

My G0ALS 4 THE REST 0F THE YEAR AND THE BEGiNiNNG OF NEXT

F0R DECEMBER..
FINISH 0F THE SEMESTER AND OBTAIN AT LEAST A 3.0.
G0 ICE SKATING
GET THR0UGH MY FIRST CHRISTMAS/BIRTHDAY W/O MICHAEL =[
GET READY F0R THE BABY [[MY NIECE 0R NEPHEW]]

F0R JANUARY..
M0VE
GET READY F0R THE BABY [[MY NIECE 0R NEPHEW]]

IVE NEVER HAD A BABY BEF0RE S0 IF ANY0NE KN0WS ANY G00D PLACES F0R BABY STUFF BESIDES WALMART AND TARGET LET ME KN0W!! THANKS

DRAMA

I BEEN MINDIN MY 0WN BIZ. AINT BEEN N0 DRAMA WID N0 BITCHES.. ITS BEEN SM00TH SAILIN.. MIKE WILL BE H0ME S00N S0 I BEEN C00L.. S0 S0ME DUMB STUPID ASS H0E BITCHES WANNA B WID THE SHIT AND KEEP 0N INV0LVIN ME IN SHIT.. N0T CH00SIN THEY W0RDS WISELY WHEN THEY SAY WHAT THEY G0TTA SAY... WELL IM HERE T0 SAY.. IM N0T W0RRIED AB0UT Y0U BITCHES... F0R S0ME0NE WH0 IS "SAVED" WHY W0ULD Y0U WISH DEATH UP0N ME?!.. ILL LET G0D DEAL WITH Y0U.. HAHAHA.. CUZ THATS W0RSE THEN HAVIN T0 DEAL WITH ME..

YEAH BACK IN THE DAY I WAS KINDA WILD.. I DIDNT GIVE A FUCK... W0ULD GET 0FF 0N ANY BITCH IF I HAD T0.. BUT H0NESTLY.. CAN I KEEP IT 100.. IM GR0WN.. IM AB0UT 2 B 22 YEARS 0LD IN LESS THAN 30 DAYS... AND IM N0T W0RRIED AB0UT N0B0DY WH0 AINT 0N THE SAME LEVEL AS ME.. I G0T 4 SEMESTERS 0F UNDERGRAD THEN IM G0IN 2 CREDENTIAL SCH00L AND THEN MASTERS PR0GRAM.. I D0NT REALLY HAVE TIME T0 LIVE IN THE PAST.. H0NESTLY.. AND THIS IS FR0M THE B0TT0M 0F MY HEART.. WERE T0 0LD F0R ALL THIS CRAP.. BACK WHEN WE WAS TEENAGERS IT WAS EXPECTED.. BUT PEOPLE HAVE THINGS T0 D0.. IM N0T G0NNA SIT UP HERE AND SAY MY LIFE IS HELLA GREAT AND IM D0IN BETTER THAN N0B0DY BECUZ IM N0T LIKE THAT... BUT I AM G0NNA SAY THAT IM D0ING S0METHING WITH MY LIFE S0 WITH THAT C0MES HATERS... BUT KEEP Y0UR HATING T0 Y0URSELF THANK Y0U!


WHEN ME AND MICHAEL TALK AB0UT H0W CAN WE STRENGTHEN 0UR RELATI0NSHIP.. WE TALK AB0UT GETTIN RID 0F TH0SE WH0 INV0LVE THEMSELVES IN 0UR RELATIONSHIP. 0N N0VEMBER 21, 2006 WHEN HE ASKED ME 2 B HIS GIRL. IT WAS 0NLY ME AND HIM.. F0R THE LAST 3 YEARS.. IT HASNT BEEN JUST BEEN AND HIM.. AND THATS Y ITS BEEN HELLA DRAMA.. FR0M MY PARENTS T0 HIS PARENTS.. T0 0UR FRENS.. T0 FAM.. T0 JUST AB0UT EVERY0NE WE KN0W... BUT IMMA TELL Y0U... WE'VE BEEN D0NE WITH THAT.. Y0U GUYS TALK TALK TALK.. AND BE 100 PERCENT N0T TALKIN AB0UT THE TRUTH... JUST LIKE N0W.. ITS BEEN 1084028304923 ST0RIES CIRCULATING AB0UT THE CURRENT SITUATI0N.. BUT N0 0NE KN0WS THE TRUTH... THATS WHY S0ME PE0PLE LIVE.. ITS FUNNY H0W I CAN SIT UP HERE AND WRITE A WH0LE FAKE ASS BL0G AB0UT H0W I MET S0ME0NE NEW AND IM DIGGIN HIM.. AND 30 MINUTES LATER IM GETTING A CALL AB0UT IT.. BUT AINT 0NE 0F Y0U BITCHES C00L WID ME.. HAHAHAHA.. BASICALLY ALL IM SAYIN... IF Y0U D0NT KN0W WHAT Y0UR TALKIN AB0UT.. D0NT SPEAK 0N IT.. JUST LIVE Y0UR LIFE.. ALRIGHT.. BUT ANYWAYS.. I G0TTA GET READY F0R W0RK..

THANK Y0U 2 THE FEW WH0 SUPP0RTS EVERYTHING I D0. I L0VE Y0U
L0VE,
$LiCk

D0 Y0U REALLy KN0W Y0UR SiGNiFiCANT 0THER?!

S0 YESTERDAY WHEN I WAS TALKIN T0 My L0VE.. I ASKED HIM A QUESTI0N THAT I BEEN THINKING AB0UT F0R THE L0NGEST.. I ASKED HIM "WHY D0 Y0U WANT 2 B WITH ME?" F0R YALL WH0 KN0W US WELL.. Y0U KN0W 0UR RELATI0NSHIP HAS BEEN QUITE C0MPLICATING AND C0MPLEX.. I WANTED 2 KN0W.. IF 2 Y0UR PARENTS.. IF T0 Y0UR FRENS.. IF T0 Y0UR FAM.. IM N0T THE 0NE F0R Y0U.. WHY D0 Y0U THINK IM THE 0NE F0R Y0U?! SO WHEN I ASKED HIM THAT QUESTION HE QUICKLY ANSWERED LIKE MY QUESTION WAS SIMPLE, "BECAUSE Y0U HAVE ALWAYS BEEN HERE F0R ME THR0UGH EVERYTHING. BECAUSE I'D DIE BEF0RE ID BE WITH0UT Y0U. BECAUSE I SAW Y0U WHEN Y0U WERE AT Y0UR L0WEST STILL SMIILING... BECAUSE I SEEN YOU NEAR DEATH DO A COMPLETE 180 AND I WAS RIGHT THERE TO SEE IT ALL.. BECAUSE THERE ISNT ANY0NE ELSE 0UT THERE F0R ME BECAUSE I F0UND MY S0UL MATE IN 8TH GRADE.. IT JUST T00K S0ME YEARS T0 FIND Y0U.." THAT T0UCHED MY HEART.. Y0U KN0W.. 0N SATURDAY WE WILL BE T0GETHER F0R 3 YEARS AND I C0ULD TELL THAT THERE HAS BEEN GR0WTH IN 0UR RELATI0NSHIP.. I ASKED HIM AN0THER QUESTI0N: "DID Y0U EVER C0NSIDER ME AS 0NE 0F Y0UR BITCHES... U KN0W LIKE A SIDELINE H0E?" HIS RESPONSE: "N0 BECAUSE WHEN WE STARTED KICKIN IT AFTER ALL 0F TH0SE YEARS.. I C0NSIDERED Y0U MY FRIEND.. THEN IT JUST ENDED UP BEING A RELATIONSHIP".. PEOPLE ARE SO QUICK TO HAVE BABIES WITH SOMEONE OR SO QUICK TO GET MARRIED TO SOMEONE THEY DONT EVEN KNOW.. I'VE BEEN WITH HIM FOR 3 YEARS AND I STILL FEEL LIKE IM STILL LEARNING.. THE FIRST FEW YEARS HAVE BEEN BUMPY.. BECAUSE WE HAD TO LEARN HOW TO BE CONSIDERATE OF EACH OTHERS NEEDS.. HE SAYS IM HIS FIRST REAL RELATIONSHIP.. NOT THAT THE OTHER RELATIONSHIPS DIDNT MATTER.. BUT IM THE FIRST FEMALE THAT HE HAS LIVED WITH.. SHARED MONEY.. YOU KNOW THINGS MARRIED PEOPLE DO.. HES N0T THE FIRST PERS0N I HAVE LIVED WITH BUT I CAN SAY THAT THIS IS THE FIRST RELATIONSHIP WHERE I CAN TELL WERE B0TH CHANGING AND GR0WING T0GETHER... MY X BEF0RE HIM.. THAT WAS MY HIGH SCH00L L0VE.. IVE BEEN WITH MICHAEL SINCE I WAS 18.. IM AB0UT 2 B 22.. I JUST CANNOT WAIT UNTIL HE C0MES H0ME.. WHEN Y0UR APART FR0M S0ME0NE F0R S0 L0NG Y0U START T0 REALZIE ALL 0F THE THINGS THAT Y0U DIDNT APPRECIATE BEF0RE. F0R EXAMPLEL, MICHAEL MADE SURE THAT I HAD WHAT I NEEDED... I NEVER REALIZED 0R APPRECIATED THAT UNTIL N0W.. ALL I'M SAYIN IS IF Y0UR IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH SOMEONE YOU LOVE.. MAKE SURE THAT THAT PERS0N IS G0ING T0 BE WILLING T0 W0RK WITH Y0U 0N Y0UR FLAWS.. BECAUSE EVERY0NE HAS FLAWS.. AND Y0UR G0ING T0 BE WILLING T0 W0RK WITH THEM 0N THEIRS.. TALK T0 Y0UR SIGNIFICANT 0THER.. KN0W THEIR DREAMS, G0ALS, ASPIRATI0NS IN LIFE.. BECAUSE THE FASTER Y0U GET T0 KN0W EACH 0THER AND DECIDE IF Y0UR WILLING T0 ACCEPT THEIR FLAWS.. THE EASIER THE RELATIONSHIP WILL BE.. N0 RELATIONSHIP IS EASY BUT AT LEAST Y0U WILL KN0W THAT Y0UR 0N THE SAME PAGE.. 0KAY AUDIENCE.. ITS TIME F0R ME T0 G0 T0 SCH00L..

ALWAYS,
♔§⌊ι⊄κ™

THE 0NE i GAVE My HEART T0..

ITS HARD 2 HAVE A RELATI0NSHIP.. Y0U WANNA BE HAPPY THEY WANNA BE HAPPY... A RELATI0NSHIP IS ALL AB0UT C0MPR0MISE... S0METIMES Y0U HAVE T0 L0SE T0 WIN... IT ABS0LUTELY SUCKS N0T BEING WITH MY L0VE.. BUT S0METIMES Y0U HAVE 2 PAY THE C0NSEQUENCES F0R Y0UR ACTI0NS.. S0METIMES Y0U WILL HURT M0RE THAN EVERY0NE KN0WS BECAUSE 0F Y0UR DECISI0NS.. I JUST CANT WAIT F0R HIM 2 C0ME H0ME S0 THAT I CAN BE IN HIS ARMS EVERYDAY AGAIN.. F0R THE L0NGEST I USED T0 THINK THAT HE DIDNT L0VE ME AND HE DIDNT THINK I L0VED HIM.. MATTER 0F FACT.. WHAT THE HELL IS L0VE?! HAS ANY0NE EVER GIVEN A DEFINITI0N F0R WHAT L0VE IS.. 0R IS IT S0 SYMB0LIC AND INTANGIBLE THAT WE WILL NEVER KN0W WHAT IT IS... I KN0W THAT L0VE CAN MAKE Y0U FEEL LIKE Y0U ARE 0N AN ALL TIME HIGH... AND AT THE SAME TIME L0VE CAN MAKE Y0U FEEL LIKE Y0U JUST CRASHED INT0 A WALL.. L0VE CAN MAKE Y0U FEEL SAFE AND SECURE.. AND L0VE CAN MAKE Y0U FEEL LIKE SHIT.. ALL I KN0W IS THAT PE0PLE D0 CHANGE.. PE0PLE GR0W T0GETHER.. WE MIGHT BE Y0UNG AND N0T KN0W EVERYTHING AB0UT L0VE BUT I KN0W F0R SURE N0W THAT HE L0VES ME AND HE KN0WS I L0VE HIM AND FR0M THAT WE WILL W0RK 2 HAVE A BETTER STR0NGER RELATI0NSHIP WHEN HE C0MES H0ME!

S00 ANXi0US

IM N0T EVEN G0NNA LIE IM HELLA ANXI0US 2 C MY B00 FACE 2 FACE. 2 KISS HIS LIPS. JUST T0 BE WITH HIM. AS EACH WEEK PASSES I GET M0RE AND M0RE ANXI0US AND ITS HELLA IRRITATING. IM N0T G0NNA SAY WHEN HES GETTIN 0UT 0N HERE JUST F0R THE 0NES WH0 WANNA KN0W.. I WANNA BE THE 0NLY 0NE WH0 KN0WS.. WELL 0F C0URSE IM N0T THE 0NLY 0NE BUT I WANNA BE THE FIRST 0NE WH0 GETS 2 B THERE WITH HIM!! I L0VE HIM.. I SWEAR I D0!! I D0NT KN0W WHAT ELSE T0 SAY RIGHT N0W.. IM JUST RAMBLING AWAY.. BUT REALLY.. I G0T A L0T T0 ACC0MPLISH..

1. FINISH THIS SEMESTER 0FF WITH THE BEST GRADES EVER 2 MAKE MY MAN PR0UD

2. M0VE INT0 MY 0WN APARTAMENT0

3. GET NEXT SEMESTER STARTED 0FF GREAT

4. STAY S0LID.

LOL. WELL BASICALLY.. IT HELLA SUCKS TH0 CUZ N0W I 0NLY CAN VISIT 0NCE A WEEK INSTEAD 0F 3 TIMES.. BUT ITS 0KAY. THE HARDEST TIME IS G0NNA BE WHEN HE G0ES T0 THE PENN. BECAUSE N0T TALKIN 2 HIM EVERYDAY IS G0NNA BE W0RSE BECAUSE IM N0T G0NNA KN0W IF HE IS 0KAY 0R N0T.. BUT ILL HAVE 2 BE STR0NG... BECAUSE HELL BE H0ME S00N AND I CANT WAIT!! =D

I USED 2 THINK HE L0VED ME.. BUT I KN0W HE D0ES!!

YESTERDAY WAS THE M0ST STRESSFUL M0ST DRAMA FILLED DAY.. I D0NT UNDERSTAND IF A NIGGA D0NT WANT Y0U WHY Y0U INSIST 0N DRIVING ALL THE WAY TO ELK GR0VE THINKIN MAYBE IF HE SEES YOU HE WILL WANT YOU.. N0 BITCH NEVER.. HAHAHA.. BUT YEAH I C0ULDNT EVEN SEE HIM CUZ THIS FAT BITCH CAME UP TO SEE HIM.. S0 THEN I JUST H0PPED 0N MY GIRLS CARD AND WENT 2 C HIM.. AND SHE L00KED HELLA DUMB.. WAITED 0UTSIDE F0R 2 H0URS T0 SPEND 2 MINUTES GETTING CURSED 0UT AND L00KIN A F00L IN FR0NT 0F ALL THE PE0PLE SHE AT UP THERE AND TALKED SHIT AB0UT ME T0.. AHAHAHA.. BUT YEAH.. I CANT BELIEVE HE T0LD HER IM HIS WIFE AND THAT IMMA RIDE 0R DIE AND IF SHE D0ESNT LIKE IT SHE CAN KICK R0CKS.. SLAMED THE PH0NE D0WN G0T 0N THE PH0NE WID ME AND SHE G0T UP HELLA CRYIN HAHAHA.. S0 BASICALLY Y0U HELLA WASTED EVERY0NES TIME AND HIS SISTER SHAUNTEH DIDNT EVEN GET 2 C HIM BECAUSE Y0U WANTED 2 G0 UP THERE 2 GET CURSED 0UT..

BUT ANWAYS.. AFTER SHE LEFT.. WE TALKED AB0UT PLANNIN 0UR 0FFICIAL WEDDING.. I WANNA GET MARRIED IN THE CITY BECAUSE IM FR0M THE BAY BUT HE WAS SAYIN THAT WE SHUD JUST GET MARRIED RIGHT HERE IN SAC.. WHAT D0 YALL THINK?! I THINK THE CITY IS WAY M0RE EXPENSIVE T0 GET MARRIED BUT SHIT.. I WANNA HAVE A NICE WEDDING.. I D0NT WANT A BIG 0NE.. BUT FUCK IT.. WE B0TH G0T BIG ASS FAMILIES S0 WERE S0L IN TRYNA HAVE A SMALL 0NE.. BUT ANYWAYS.. YEAH.. WE TALKED AB0UT THAT AND WHAT WERE G0NNA D0 WHEN HE GETS H0ME.. BASICALLY WE WANNA PR0VE 2 EVERY0NE THAT WE CAN W0RK T0GETHER AND MAKE IT AS A C0UPLE.. AS A FAMILY..

BEiNG WiTH0UT HiM SUCKS..

LAST NIGHT I C0ULDNT THINK JUST THINKIN THAT MY H0NEY MAY BE LEAVIN 2 THE PEN S00N ALL 0VER STUPID ASS BULLSHIT AND DRAMA.. I FEEELL HELLA BAD... UGH.. I MAY 0NLY SEE HIM LIKE 0NCE 0R TWICE MAYBE 3 TIMES AND THEN I MAY N0T SEE HIM AGAIN UNTIL NEXT YEAR.. DAMN I WANTED 2 AT LEAST B ABLE 2 C HIM F0R 0UR ANNERVERSARy BUT HE MIGHT BE G0NE F0R THAT =[ IM SAD.. JUST TH0UGHT ID WRITE A FEW LINES T0 GET THIS 0FF MY CHEST..

I APPRECIATED THAT

i NEVER REALiZED H0W MUCH MiKEy L0VES ME UNTiL YESTERDAy.. YESTERDAy WAS HALL0WEEN BUT 0F C0URSE i WENT ND ViSiTED ND DiDNT G0 0UT.. LAME HUH.. BUT ANy WAys.. HE SAys.. I CUDDA PRESSED CHARGES AGAiNST Y0U.. BUT THAT MEANT.. iT W0ULD SKREW UP Y0UR CAREER PLANS.. D0 Y0U KN0W H0W MUCH THAT MEANS T0 ME?! LiKE H0NESTLy.. F0R HiM 2 THiNK AB0UT ME.. I CANT EVEN EXPLAiN H0W I FELT.. I KiNDA TEARED UP.. THATS L0VE CUZ ANy 0THER NiGGA W0ULD HAVE PRESSED CHARGES LiKE A BiTCH.. JUST HAD 2 LET Y0U GUYS KN0W.. I REALLY APPRECiATE HIM!!

BiTTER H0ES

D0NT GET MAD.. GET GLAD.. DAMN PLEASE.. LEAVE ME THE HELL AL0NE.. WHy HATE?! CUZ iD NEVER HATE.. H0NESTLy.. iF i KNEW i WAS A SiDELiNE H0E.. ID PLAy My P0SiTi0N 0N THE SiDE.. NEVER HATiN.. JUST STAy 0N THE SiDE.. DAMN.. iS iT THAT HARD?! iVE NEVER BEEN 0N THE SiDE S0 i REALLy D0NT KN0W.. BUT WHAT i D0 kN0W iS THAT iM WiFEy.. DAMN THE NiGGA iS iN JAiL.. S00 ALL U LiTTLE BOPULARS AiNT G0T SHiT ELSE 2 D0 BUT C0ME CHECK 0UT My PAGE.. AND THEN TELL Y0UR LiES... UGH.. UR RiDiCUL0US.. IVE HEARD EVERYTHiNG..

WHEN i ViSiT MiCHAEL i CALL THiS H0E UP && TELL HER EVERyTHiNG WE TALK AB0UT.. LOL THATS FUNNy.. i D0NT EVEN TELL My FRENS WHAT WE TALK AB0UT S0 WHy WUD i TELL A H0E?!

I WENT WITH HiS M0MMA 2 G0 ViSiT HiM.. HiS PARENTS L0VE ME.. HAHA FiRST H0E.. THE DAY Y0U G0 2 VISIT ISSSSSS... A LIE BITCH.. HAHAHA.. ND SEC0ND.. HIS M0MMA D0NT EVEN KN0W U.. U THINK JUST CUZ U SAY HI IM MICHAELS GIRL THEY BELIEVE Y0U HAHAHA.. GET IN LINE..

WHAT ELSE HAVE I HEARD.. 0H THE CLASSIC.. IM PREGNANT BY HIM.... WELL H0E.. WHERE THE PAPERS.. CUZ I KN0W WHEN Y0UR PREGNANT THEY GIVE Y0U A PAPER SAYIN Y0U ARE.. S0O WHERE ARE THE PAPERS?? WHAT.. U G0T AN AB0RTI0N.. S0O THEY DIDNT GIVE U THE PAPER.. WELL WHERE THE AB0RTI0N PAPERS?! CUZ Y0U SHUD HAVE S0ME 0F THEM 2.. 0H Y0UR SPEECHLESS.. GET THE FUCK 0UTTA HERE BITCH..

HES C0MIN H0ME 2 ME... HAHAH.. WELL SEE..
BASICALLY IM WRITING THIS TO SAY.. HATIN IS N0T CUTE.. ITS N0T G0NNA SC0RE Y0U ANY BR0WNIE P0INTS.. ITS N0T G0NNA GET Y0U N0 WHERE.. D0 Y0U THINK MICHAEL.. MATTER 0F FACT.. ANY MAN WANTS A GIRL WHO HAS TO LIE AND HATE ON THE NEXT T0 GET THE MAN.. D0 U WATCH REALITY TV?! THE SNITCH NEVER WINS.. SHE GETS FAR BUT SHE NEVER WINS.. KEEP THAT IN MIND WHILE Y0UR HATIN..
T0 EVERY0NE ELSE BEHIND US.. I L0VE Y0U THANKS AND WHEN WE PLAN THE BIG WEDDING Y0UR ALL INVITED.. =D

0H H0W PR0UD HE W0ULD BE 0F ME..

BABy BABy BABy..
i G0T MY FiRST CHECK + iN CHDV 135 (CR0SS CULTURAL DEVEL0PMENT)
&& AN A 0n My FiRST EXAM iN CHDV 131 (LANG DEVEL0PMENT)
iM PASSiN ALL My CLASSES MAKiN Y0U PR0UD AND iM G0iNG 2 C0NTiNUE 2 D0 WELL 2 MAKE y0U PR0UD.. Y0UR WiFEy iS SMART AS HELL.. LOL i L0VES Y0U

sooo gone

Empty inside. Time goin soo slow

L0ve SiCK..

iM L0ve SiCK.. UGH.. LOL. i MiSS My b0o.. 170 s0methin days left.. well maybe 160 s0mething.. idk ab0ut 5 m0nths.. i cant wait either.. until then im g0ing 2 stay f0cused 0n my studies and w0rry ab0ut me.. s0rry.. and 2 any0ne tryna persue me.. ur walking int0 a wall.. because im n0t havin it.. im g0od.. s0rry.. but anyways.. his hair looks great.. them dreads is gettin l0nger.. nd hes gettin bigger because hes been w0rking 0ut... 0h and i just cant wait t0 kiss them lips.. i cant wait!! ugh.. but i still have some time.. s0me time 2 get myself t0gether.. i have 2 be l00kin right when p0ppa c0mes h0me.. f0r realz.. but anyways.. im tired.. just hadda put s0me th0ughts d0wn..

L0ve SiCK..

iM L0ve SiCK.. UGH.. LOL. i MiSS My b0o.. 170 s0methin days left.. well maybe 160 s0mething.. idk ab0ut 5 m0nths.. i cant wait either.. until then im g0ing 2 stay f0cused 0n my studies and w0rry ab0ut me.. s0rry.. and 2 any0ne tryna persue me.. ur walking int0 a wall.. because im n0t havin it.. im g0od.. s0rry.. but anyways.. his hair looks great.. them dreads is gettin l0nger.. nd hes gettin bigger because hes been w0rking 0ut... 0h and i just cant wait t0 kiss them lips.. i cant wait!! ugh.. but i still have some time.. s0me time 2 get myself t0gether.. i have 2 be l00kin right when p0ppa c0mes h0me.. f0r realz.. but anyways.. im tired.. just hadda put s0me th0ughts d0wn..

JUST S0ME TH0UGHTS

HMMMMM.. I HATE WHEN PEOPLE D0NT GET IT.. MY NAME IS JASMINE AND I GET WHAT I WANT.. IM VERY SP0ILED.. M0RE THAN Y0U WILL EVER KN0W.. AND Y0U ARE JUST A SIMPLE ASS PERS0N ALWAYS WANTIN 2 KN0W WHATS IN MY LIFE.. RIGHT N0W THERE ARE F0UR L0VELY LADIES 0UT THERE WH0 HAVE N0THING BETTER T0 D0 THAN L0G 0N T0 THEIR MYSPACE AND CHECK MY STATUS AND WHATS NEW IN MY LIFE.. WHY WHAT IS THE P0INT IF Y0U D0NT EVEN LIKE ME?! WHY ARE Y0U S0 0BSESSED WITH ME?! UGH.. F0R THAT REAS0N.. I WRITE THIS BL0G F0R Y0U.. F0R Y0U T0 HAVE S0METHING T0 TALK AB0UT.. EVERYONE WILL BE TALKING ONCE I FINISH THIS ONE.. EVEN YOUR MOMMA.. LOL

LETS SET SOME THINGS STRAIGHT.. EVERYONE HAS TO LEARN FOR THEMSELVES.. && IF IM MAKING THE WRONG DECISION BY DECIDING TO STILL TALK 2 MICHAEL AND HES MAKING THE WRONG DECISION BY DECIDING TO STILL TALK 2 ME.. I THINK FRIENDS AND FAMILIES SHOULD JUST LET US FIND OUT FOR OURSELVES... HONESTLY YOU DONT HAVE TO ACCEPT IT.. BUT YOU WILL HAVE 2 RESPECT IT.. BECAUSE WE G0TTA MAKE THE DECISI0NS F0R US.. N0T ANY0NE ELSE.. EVERY0NE WH0 TH0UGHT HE WAS G0NNA GET RID 0F ME.. HE AINT.. S0O S0RRY.. Y0U CAN BE MAD AND Y0U CAN V0ICE Y0UR 0PINI0N.. BUT ULTIMATELY THE DECISI0N WAS HIS.. I HAD PARENTS.. SIBLINGS.. HELLA PEOPLE TELL ME 2 LEAVE HIM AL0NE.. AND I ULTIMATELY DID.. I LEFT HIM ALONE F0R 3 M0NTHS.. BEING THE HARDEST 3 M0NTHS 0F MY LIFE.. 0N THE 0UTSIDE I SEEMED HAPPY.. ALWAYS G0IN 2 THE BAY CHILLEN ALWAYS 0UT.. BUT INSIDE I WAS MISERABLE.. EVERY0NE I WAS AR0UND IRRITATED ME AND I BECAME DISGUSTED WID THE ACT I PUT 0N.. WHEN I CAME BACK ND WENT 2 VISIT HIM.. B0Y.. IF Y0U C0ULD HAVE SEEN HIS FACE.. I NEVER SEEN THE SUN SHINE S0O BRIGHTER.. I WAS HAPPY 2 SEE HIM AND HE WAS BEY0ND HAPPY 2 SEE ME. WE TALKED AB0UT EVERYTHING.. FR0M HIS CASE.. TO 0UR RELATIONSHIP.. 2 WHAT 0THERS THINK.. AND HE SAID THAT HE DIDNT CARE WHAT ANY0NE ELSE TH0UGHT.. HE WASNT MAD.. HE JUST WANTED HIS WIFE BY HIS SIDE.. AT FIRST I TH0UGHT AB0UT EVERY0NE ELSE.. H0W W0ULD THEY FEEL.. THEY W0ULD BE MAD AT B0TH 0F US.. BUT THEN I TH0UGHT.. MAKING EVERY0NE ELSE HAPPY IS MAKING THE B0TH 0F US ABS0LUTELY MISERABLE.. S0O I DECIDED THAT IMMA RIDE F0R MY MAN.. I D0NT KN0W H0W Y0U GUYS FEEL AB0UT THE WH0LE SITUATI0N.. BUT ID RATHER IF Y0U KEPT Y0UR NEGATIVE C0MMENTS T0 Y0URSELF.. AND IF Y0UR G0NNA BE SUPP0RTIVE 0F 0UR DECISI0N THAN BE THERE.... THERE IS S0O MUCH M0RE T0 0UR RELATIONSHIP THAT N0 0NE KN0WS AB0UT.. S0O MUCH M0RE.. AND IDK I JUST TH0UGHT I HAD 2 SAY THAT.. MAKES ME FEEL A LITTLE BETTER...

IM S0RRY TO ANY0NE WH0SE FEELINGS HAVE G0TTEN HURT.. BECAUSE 0F ME 0R MICHAEL.. BUT IN THE END.. ITS WHAT WE WANT N0T WHAT Y0U WANT..

ALRIGHT.. TIME 2 END THIS BL0G G00DNITE =D

B00 B00

i L0ve Y0U!!

RACiSM

iT STiLL EXiSTS.. && iM BEiNG TESTED EVERyDAy i WALK iNT0 THAT BUiLDiNG.. PE0PLE WH0 ARE RACIST ARE PLAIN IGN0RANT T0 ME.. Y0U CAN HAVE BL0NDE HAIR AND BLUE EYES BUT THAT D0ESNT MEAN THAT Y0U ARE SUPERI0R T0 ANY0NE 0F C0L0R.. THE LAST TIME I CHECKED WHITE WAS THE MIN0RITY AND C0L0R WAS THE MAJ0RITY BECAUSE EVERYTIME U MIX ANY RACE WITH WHITE Y0U GET C0L0R!! I JUST D0NT UNDERSTAND IT.. IM GLAD THAT I G0T A CHANCE IN MY LIFE T0 EXPERIENCE DIFFERENT ENVIR0NMENTS.. FR0M THE BAY AREA ENVI0RNMENT.. T0 ELK GR0VE.. T0 S0UTH SAC.. 2 THE PHILIPPINES.. BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE EVEN TH0UGH I HAVENT SEEN MUCH IN MY SH0RT LIFE IM N0T SHELTERED.. I KN0W AND I AM AWARE THAT PE0PLE FR0M 0THER CULTURES ARE DIFFERENT BUT THEY ARE N0T INFERI0R.. N0 0NE IS SUPERI0R T0 ANY0NE IN G0DS EYES... WERE ALL HIS PE0PLE AND HE D0ESNT JUDGE.. S0 WHY SH0ULD Y0U.. WHEN I WAS Y0UNGER... THE THINGS THIS GIRL SAYS W0ULD M0ST DEFINATELY GET HER ASS WH00PED.. BUT N0W IM 0LDER AND M0RE MATURE AND I KN0W THAT HER W0RDS ARE PURE IGN0RANCE AND BY ACTIN CRAZY IS JUST GIVING HER P0WER... S00 BASICALLY.. IF Y0UR READING THIS.. THINK AB0UT WHAT Y0U SAY T0 0THERS BEF0RE Y0U SAY IT... ESPECIALLY WHEN IT HAS S0METHING 2 D0 AB0UT RACE.. THANKS..

LET ME B ME

&& THiS C0MES FR0M THE B0TT0M 0F MY HEART..
I FEEL LIKE I CANT REALLY BE ME CUZ WHAT EVERY0NE HAS 2 SAY [[FRENS, FAMILY]]
H0W C0ME I CANT JUST BE WH0 I WANNA BE?!?!
IF Y0U D0NT LIKE IT.. THEN D0NT C0ME AR0UND ME..
D0NT DEAL WITH ME..
I DIDNT TALK 2 MICHAEL FOR 3 M0NTHS BECAUSE IM T00 W0RRIED AB0UT WHAT EVERY0NE ELSE HAS 2 SAY WHEN I MISS HIM LIKE CRAZY AND I STILL L0VE HIM..
BUT Y AM I LISTENING TO ANY OF YOU WHEN.. NOT ONE FEMALE I KNOW RIGHT NOW RELATIONSHIP IS GOIN RIGHT.. EVERY0NE FR0M MY FRENS 2 MY PARENTS.. S0O IM HELLA TIRED 0F PUTTIN MY FEELINGS 2 THE SIDE F0R EVERY0NE ELSE..
YEAH WE MIGHT OF ARGUED A LOT && EVEN F0UGHT.. BUT HE WAS ALWAYS THERE WHEN N0NE 0F Y0U WERE.. && Y0UR ALL FAKE & PHONY IF Y0U ASK ME..
WHY W0ULD U N0T STILL L0VE ME & B THERE F0R ME BECAUSE U D0NT LIKE WH0 I TALK 2? THEN Y0U D0NT GIVE A FUCK AB0UT ME EITHER... MAYBE I NEED 2 SURR0UND MYSELF AR0UND DIFFERNT PE0PLE.. AS MUCH AS I HATE 2 LET MY FAMILY G0 I WILL.. N0T F0R HIM... BUT F0R MYSELF.. MAYBE I NEED 2 B 0UT 0N MY 0WN && SH0W Y0U I CAN STANT 0N MY 0WN 2 FEET WITH 0UT Y0U.. MAYBE THEN Y0U WILL REALIZE WH0 I REALLY AM..
BECAUSE I D0NT THINK ANY0NE KN0WS WH0 I REALLY AM.. I CARE 2 MUCH ABOUT WHAT 0THERS G0TTA SAY AND I TRY 2 MAKE EVERY0NE HAPPY && THATS N0T MAKIN ME HAPPY.. HES IN A 4X4 BECAUSE I LISTENED 2 Y0U.. && ITS N0T FAIR.. N0W IM N0T TALKIN 2 JUST 0NE PERS0N IN GENERAL BUT DAMN..I BEEN SITTIN HERE F0R THE LAST FEW DAYS JUST THINKIN.. I NEED 2 B 0N MY 0WN.. AWAY FR0M EVERY0NE ELSE AND THEIR PROBLEMS.. AND MAYBE ILL FEEL BETTER ABOUT MYSELF.. BASICALLY I NEED 2 THINK ABOUT ME ND NOT EVERYONE ELSE..
S0 BASICALLY IM LETTING ALL 0F Y0U KN0W.. CHERISH THE TIME Y0U HAVE WITH ME BEF0RE I D0 IT M0VIN 0N ALL 0F Y0U!!

L0VE

L0ve is LiKe a FL0wer...
Beautiful but Delicate

fr0m a seed it gr0ws
into s0mething elaborate

if y0u neglect it..
it will wither away

if y0u care f0r it..
it will bl0ss0m int0 s0mething so vibrant & so delightful

its smell will tickle y0ur n0se
ts subtleness will calm y0u
& its presence will brighten y0ur day..

but...

if y0u neglect it...
it will wither away..

l0ve is like a fl0wer..
Beautiful but Delecate..

G00D Bye SuMMer

G00DBYE SUMMER!! GOOD BYE WILD NIGHTS AT THE GYM.. WORKIN OUT && KICKIN IT.. G0ODBYE BAY TRIPS.. TRIPS ALL 0VA.. BELMONT.. ALAMEDA.. RICHMOND.. SF.. OAKLAND.. HAYWARD.. UHHHH.. GOOD BYE SLEEP ALL DAY UP ALL NIGHT NIGHTS WID TINA.. GOODBYE CARELESSNESS.. GOOD BYE JAY && RIK.. ALWAYS KEEP US LAUGHIN.. GOOD BYE PHILIPPINES!! && MANGO!! GOOD BYE SUMMER DRESSES HELLO SKINNY JEANS.. GOODBYE ALL OF THE MEMORIES I HAD THIS SUMMER OF 2009.. BECAUSE FALL IS APPROACHING.. HOW MUCH I HATE THE FALL.. FALL BRINGS ME CLOSER 2 FINISHING SCHOOL AND CLOSER 2 YOU!!

MY SUMMER HAS BEEN MY AWAY.. MY AWAY FROM ALL THE DRAMA.. WHEN I LANDED BACK HERE IN AMERICA I FORGOT THAT SUMMER WAS OVER .. H0W MUCH IT HURT ME TO COME BACK 2 REALITY.. 2 REALIZE THAT PEOPLE GO THEIR SEPERATE WAYS WHEN FALL COMES.. TO REALIZE THAT THE LOVE OF MY LIFE IS SITTING IN A 4X4 CELL IN ELK GROVE BECAUSE OF STRAIGHT FOOLISHNESS.. 2 BE HAPPY THAT HES NOT MAD.. BUT SCARED OF WHAT THAT MEANS.. THERES A LOT THAT THE FALL BRINGS.. FALL IS THE TIME I STUDY STUDY STUDY.. GOTTA HAVE GOOD GRADES TO GET INTO A GOOD CREDENTIAL PROGRAM.. SO GOOD BYE SUMMER SEE YOU NEXT YEAR..

L0ST

WITH0UT Y0U... LOL N0 I LIED.. BUT REALLY I AM L0ST RIGHT N0W.. IM L0ST AB0UT WH0 IS REALLY IMP0RTANT 2 ME IN LIFE... IVE BEEN SOOOO HURT THAT IVE BEEN SURR0UNDIN MYSELF AR0UND TH0SE WH0 D0NT GIVE 2 FS AB-UT ME... I REALIZE Y0UR USING ME BUT I LET IT G0 BECAUSE AT THE TIME.. IM PAYIN F0R Y0UR C0MPANY.. I USED 2 BE ABLE 2 G0 2 MY FAMILY F0R HELP WHEN I NEEDED THEM THE M0ST.. BUT N0W A DAYS.. EVERY0NE HAS THEIR 0WN AGENDA S0 N0W ALL I HAVE LEFT IS MY BABY BR0THER MARQUIS..
THE 0THER DAY.. I WAS FACE 2 FACE WITH MY WORST ENEMY && MY BEST FRIEND... AND ALTH0UGH M0ST 0F THE TIME I TAKE HIS W0RDS F0R GRANTED.. HIS W0RDS MADE TEARS C0ME FROM MY EYES.. THR0UGH EVERYTHING.. WH0 D0 Y0U KN0W Y0U CAN TRUST?! CAN Y0U TRUST Y0USELF?! IM NOT GOING TO GO INTO THE WORDS HE TOLD ME BECAUSE IM SELFISH AND I WANT THEM TO MYSELF.. BUT I REALIZED THAT MANY PEOPLE ACT LIKE THEY CARE... WHEN THEY D0NT.. THEY ACT LIKE THEY LOVE YOU BUT THEY DONT.. FOR THE LONGEST I DIDNT KNOW WHAT LOVE REALLY WAS.. I NEVER REALLY FELT LOVED BY MY PARENTS... MY DADS LOVE WAS MONEY.. && MY MOM TRIED TO HARD..

THE BEST LOVE I EVER FELT WAS FILLED WITH THE MOST DRAMA AG0NY STRUGGLES... THE MOST UNHEALTHY LOVE EVER!! BUT IT WAS LOVE.. ALTHOUGH ALL U EVER HEAR PEOPLE TALK ABOUT IS THE BAD... THERE WAS A LOT OF GOOD TIMES... AND THAT LOVE WAS ALWAYS THERE.. WHENEVER I NEEDED SOMEONE 2 JUST LISTEN WHILE I CRIED A RIVER... THAT L0VE WAS THERE... WHEN TIMES G0T R0UGH & THEY ALL GAVE US THE MIDDLE FINGA WE HAD EACH0THA.. BUT IM L0ST BECAUSE IM C0NFUSED 0N WHATS RIGHT... AND WHATS WR0NG.. L0VE IS A P0WERFUL DRUG..

w0rds cant even explain..

i went 2 sleep at like 11 last night and w0ke up 10 minutes ag0... Theres s0o much g0in 0n right n0w that i d0nt even kn0w where t0 start.. i guess i can start By keepin my w0rd.. thats the least i can d0 in this current situati0n.. 0ne by keepin it s0lid.. f0cusin 0n my sch0ol w0rk.. && n0t lettin thee 0thers.. [[wh0 0f c0urse pr0bably started a hate gr0up against me.]] affect my g0als.. L0VE is a p0werful w0rd and can affect y0ur 0utl0ok 0n life and even y0ur acti0ns.. but my L0VE is a bad L0VE that taints and sp0ils && y0u wiLL b Hurt by it.. [[i d0nt intentionally mean 2 d0 it but it just happens like that]] But y0u L0VE me back.. s0o i pr0mise iLL CHange.. SCh0ol... GRADUATE.. My 0NLy C0NCERN N0w.. N0t w0rried ab0ut any b0ys.. n0w w0rried ab0ut any females.. n0t w0rried ab0ut anything but getting that BA and walking acr0ss that stage 2 make y0u pr0ud!!

WDF!!

H0ME iS N0T A H0ME ANyM0RE!!
WDF!! i WAS S0 EXCiTED 2 C0ME H0ME BUT N0T T0 THiS H0ME!
FACED WiTH PR0BLEMS i CAN N0T C0NTR0LL
0MG S0ME 0NE GET ME A DRiNK!!

B0RACAY, PHILIPPINES 2009

0HKAY S0 WE FINALLY MADE IT T0 B0RACAY AND I HAVE 2 SAY IT WAS A GREAT EXPERIENCE AND I MOST DEFINATELY WILL RETURN AT A LATER DATE!! 0KAY S0 HERE IS H0W THE ST0RY G0ES...

S0 WE LEAVE MANILA AND GET 2 KALIBO [[AN0THER 45 MINUTE FLIGHT]] AND WE GET 0N THIS CHARTER BUS THAT TAKES US T0 A D0CK.. THE BUS RIDE WAS 2 H0URS... AND THEN WE G0T 0NT0 A BOAT FOR 15 MINUTES THAT TOOK US TO B0RACAY.. AND THEN WHEN WE G0T 2 B0RACAY WE THE H0TEL JEEP CAME AND PICKED US UP!! 0N THE WAY 2 THE H0TEL WE KEPT SAYIN I H0PE ITS A NICE H0TEL.. BECAUSE 0N THE WAY THERE WE KEPT 0N SEEING THESE LIL RUN D0WN H0E H0TELS.. LOL.. S0O WHEN WE PULL UP TO THE FRONT OF THE HOTEL IT WAS KINDA SHABBY LOOKING AND WE WERE LIKE WDF LETS G0 BACK 2 MANILA BUT WHEN WE WALKED INSIDE WE WERE LIKE WOW!! IT WAS SO BEAUTIFUL.. AND WHEN YOU FIRST WALK IN THEY GAVE US SEASHELL NECLACES AND THEN THEY GAVE US A GLASS OF MANGO JUICE.. HERES A PICTURE OF THE H0TEL..




IT WAS SO BEAUTIFUL AND THE BEACH WAS RIGHT IN THE BACK OF THE HOTEL!! YAY!! S0 AFTER WE G0T 2 0UR H0TEL R00MS AND STUFF WE DECIDED WE WERE G0ING 2 G0 GET SOMETING TO EAT... THIS IS WHEN WE G0T THE REAL FILIPINO EXPERIENCE LOL.. WE R0DE THE TRIKES!! LOL




WHEN WE G0T 2 THE MARKET WE CH0SE WHAT F00D WE WANTED AND DTHEN WE ATE!! WHILE WE WERE WAITING F0R 0UR F00D 2 BE READY WE LOOKED IN THE LITTLE SH0PS F0R S0UVINERS AND STUFF BUT WE DIDNT BUY ANYTHING!! THEY HAD S0UVINERS BUT NOT WHAT I REALLY WANTED 2 BUY!! S0 AFTER THAT WE WENT TO THE BEACH.. THE BEACHES ARE S0O0O BEAUTIFULL... THE WATER IS SOOO CLEAR N THE SAND IS SO WHITE!!




UMM.. LET ME SEE WHAT ELSE DID WE DO ON MONDAY!! WE SWAM ALL DAY AND LAID OUT IN THE SAND.. 0H YEAH.. I F0RG0T!! TELL ME WHY WE WERE ALL HELLA EXCITED THAT WE WAS AT A HOTEL BECAUSE THE HOTEL HAS............ H0T WATER!! YAY!! LOL.. I TOOK THE LONGEST SHOWER EVER IN MY LIFE.. AND THE WATER DOESNT GET COLD LIKE IT DOES AT HOME BECAUSE THERES LIKE A BOX IT RUNS THROUGH.. KINDA LIKE A HOT PLATE THAT MAKES IT HOT!! LOL.. 0KAY THEN WE WENT 0UT 2 EAT AT HAWAIIAN BBQ BUT THAT SHIT WAS HELLA NASTY!! THE 0NLY G00D PART WAS THE MANG0.. AINT THE SAME AS AT HOME.. BUT YEAH.. THEN WE WENT OUT.. I NEED 2 START A WHOLE NEW PARAGRAPH FOR THIS EXPERIENCE.. BUT BEF0RE I TELL Y0U THAT.. I F0RG0T 2 SAY THAT WE G0T HENNA TATOOS.. ME, STEPHANIE AND MY DAD AND UNCLE!!






SO FIRST WE WENT 2 THIS CLUB THAT PLAYED STRAIGHT HIP HOP MUSIC.. BUT IT WAS ONLY LIKE NO ONE THERE LOL ... SO WE ORDERED DRINKS.. I HAD A SEX ON THE BEACH.. STEPH AND MARIE LONG ISLANDS AND MATT ORDERED HIM AND MARQ ADI0S!! MFERS LOL.. BUT MARQ DOESNT DRINK SO I HAD 2 DRINK HALF OF HIS!! BUT THEN SINCE NO ONE WAS THERE WE LEFT AND WENT 2 ANOTHER CLUB.. THIS CLUB WAS LIGHT WEIGHT POPPIN.. THEY PLAYED THE TYPE OF MUSIC THAT 107.9 THE END PLAYS.. F0R TH0SE WH0 D0NT LIVE IN SAC... THEY PLAYED LIKE SOME ROCK AND HIP HOP AND POP.. SO WE ORDERED A PITCHER OF LONG ISLAND BUT IT WAS KINDA NASTY.. TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO STRONG.. S0O I HAD LIKE A CUP AND A HALF AND THEN WE CUT!! S0O THEN WE WENT 2 THIS POPPIN CLUB.. IT PLAYED A LITTLE BIT OF EVERYTHING.. BUT HAHAHA TOO BAD WE CUDDNT STAY LONG.. S0O LIKE MY TITO FERDIE CAME ON THE TRIP WITH US SO THAT HE CUD WATCH US... SINCE ITS A TOURIST PLACE AND PEOPLE BE GETTING KIDNAPPED WE WERE HELLA COOL WITH IT.. SO AT THIS CLUB WE ORDERED A PITCHER OF SOME STRAWBERRY SHIT WID VODKA AND STUFF IN IT AND WE HAD SHOTS.. AFTER WE WAS A LIL TIPSY WE WENT TO DANCE.. SO TELL ME Y WE WAS DANCIN AND SOME FILIPINO DUDES CAME OVER AND WAS LIKE YEAAAAAAAAAAAAH.. THEY WAS JUST DANCIN NEAR US TRYNA GET OUR ATTENTIONS BUT WE WAS IGNORIN THEM.. LOL THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN I SEE MY DAD C0ME 0UT 0F N0WHERE AND PUSH THE DUDE ACR0SS THE DANCE FLOOR LOL AND IM LIKE 0MG S0 I G0 GRAB MY C0USIN MATT AND WAS LIKE WE G0TTA G0.. THEN I SEE MY DAD CURSIN THE SECURITY 0UT IN TAGALOG.. LOL HELLA CRAZY.. IM SITTIN 0VER HERE HELLA TIPSY W0NDERING WHAT THE HELL IS G0IN 0N CUZ THE DUDE DIDNT EVEN D0 ANYTHING.. N MY DAD CAME OUT THE CLUB AND WE WAS TRYNA GO TO ANOTHER ONE AND HE WAS LIKE WAITING OUT THE CLUB WAITING FOR THE DUDE TO COME OUT!! LOL.. SO WE WAS LIKE FUCK LETS JUST GO BACK 2 THE H0TEL!! && THEN LATER MY C0USIN MATT ASKED WHAT HAPPENED ND MY TITO FERDIE SAID THAT MY DAD SAID THE DUDE WAS GETTIN TO CLOSE 2 ME!! LOL HELLA DAD INSTINCT.. BUT HE WAS ALSO DRINKIN.. SO HEYY.. LOL..

BUT THE NEXT DAY IS WHERE ALL THE FUN WAS!! 0KAY S0 WE W0KE UP AND WE G0T 0N A TRIKE AND R0DE 2 AN0THER D0CK.. THEN WE G0T 0N THIS B0AT AND RODE TO THE MIDDLE OF THE OCEAN.. WHEN WE GOT 2 THE MIDDLE OF THE OCEAN WE WENT SNOORKLING!! 0MG IT WAS S0 MUCH FUN.. THERE WAS SO MANY FISH AND THEY WERE SO BEAUTIFUL.. I SEEN A NEMO FISH AND A LITTLE NEMO BABY FOLLOWING.. AND I ALSO SEE HELLA D0RY'S AND ALSO ZEBRA FISH!! 0MG.. ILL HAVE PICS 0F ALL THAT WHEN MY C0USIN GETS HER PICS UP!! LOL..



0KAY SO WE GOT TIRED OF DOING THAT.. SO THEN WE WENT ON A LITTLE TOUR OF ALL OF THE LITTLE ISLANDS IN THE OCEAN... AND THEN WE WENT 2 ANOTHER PART OF THE OCEAN AND WE WENT ON THE BANANA BOAT AND THE PARASAILING.. THE BANANA BOAT WAS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH FUN.. WE ALMOST TIPPED 0VER CUZ 0F TITO FERDIE BUT IT WAS FUN.. LOL.. OH AND I DONT HAVE MY PARASAILING PICS CUZ IT WAS TAKEN ON ANOTHER CAM... BUT I DID NOT LIKE PARASAILING AT ALL.. IT WAS A WONDERFUL EXPERIENCE BECAUSE YOU CAN SEE ALL OF BORACAY AND IT IS SO BEAUTIFUL BUT UR ASS IS JUST SITTING THERE IN THE AIR AND IT MADE ME FREAKIN SICK TO MY STOMACH.. BUT I STILL HAD FUN.. SO AFTER THAT WE ROAD THE BOAT TO ANOTHER ISLAND AND WE ATE LUNCH.. THEN WE WENT BACK 2 THE HOTEL AND SWAM AGAIN...



THE NIGHT SCENE SUCKED HONESTLY THIS NIGHT.. WE DIDNT REALLY DRINK CUZ WE WERE STILL A LITTLE SEA SICK.. WE DANCED A LITTLE BUT NOT REALLY.. BUT WE STILL ENJOYED HANGING OUT TOGETHER AND TALKING ABOUT OLD TIMES.. 0H YEAH.. BEFORE WE ATE ME AND MARQUIS WENT ON A WALK ON THE BEACH TOGETHER I LOVE MY LITTLE BROTHER!! JUST THOUGHT ID ADD THAT!! BUT YEAH..
THAT WAS BASICALLY IT... THE DAYS WERE JAMMED PACKED.. NOW IM READY 2 PACK MY THINGS AND COME HOME 2 MY MOM AND MY BED AND MY FRENS!! LOL

E.SAMAR

We went 2 a lil village where my lola grew up called Asgad to go to the fiesta that she was hosting to honor San Roque.. when we first g0t t0 Tacl0ban we had 2 g0 0n a 4 h0ur drive 2 get there.. we didnt know the freakin drivers s0o we were scared.. and then they stopped and s0me 0ther f0reigners riding with us went 2 get a big ass duffle bag and we were hella scared.. 0mg i th0ught they were g0nna kidnapp us!! but they just wanted a ride!! s0o when we g0t there it was hella h0t and stuff.. and the first thing we did was... wh0 wants 2 guess?! g0 2 church.. it really sucked th0 becuz we cant even speak tagalog let along vasayan which is what they were speaking in church so i was kinda bored.. then we came back 2 the house and set up 2 pass 0ut snacks t0 the children 0f the village.. we passed 0ut sponge cakes, juice, and candy




what else did we do that night?! ummmmmmm.. there was a singing contest that night.. they were singing to try to win pesos... then we went 2 meet 0ur dinner f0r the next few days... daisy && sunshine were the c0ws [[i named them lol]] and wilbur, miss piggy and babe were the pigs lol heres a pic 0f me and my uncle Ferdie and daisy..



lol i didnt get a picture of sunshine and the pigs!! 0h well.. but umm yeah... s0o the kids loved us... while we were waiting f0r the singing competition to start we danced and took pictures and they made the beetles fight for us.. 0h yeah.. earlier b4 the c0mpetition they t0ok us t0 the beach and they sh0wed us the sea life.. fr0m the fish to the hermit crabs... but yeah.. they were having s0me kinda technical difficulties s0o we went 2 the h0use and we went 2 sleep.. it was funny cuz this guy made c0ts 0ut 0f w0od and tarp f0r us to sleep 0n..

0hkay.. s0o the next day which was friday was kinda fun but we were also worked like slaves.. s0o we woke up and went 2 the beach.. see part 0f the beach is c0ncreti0n i think thats what it is called meaning its hard and theres a little water and then when u g0 0ut further there is the actual sand sand waves but its only like 2 inches and then there is a dr0p 0ff... well we wanted 2 see the waves s0o we walked all the way 0ut there and it felt s0o g0o t0 have the waves against my legs.. then we came back 2 the h0use which was a BIG Mistake... we were w0rked like freakin slaves.. first we had 2 put t0gether these bags t0 pass 0ut 2 the villagers.. first we had 2 use a glue gun 2 glue a flower onto the little bag.. then we had 2 put in the pamphlet with the san roque prayer and some holy oil... we had 2 do like 500 0f them 0r s0me big number like that.. and then after that we had 2 make 300 peanut butter sandwhiches f0r the players because they were having basketball, volley ball, and tennis competitions throughout the day.. 0mg and then we had 2 bag them... then we were getting in tr0uble cuz we wasnt baggin them right!! wdf.. k then after they had snack.. we had 2 serve them dinner.. we had 2 serve rice and menudo.. we were s0o tired... and then after that.. weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee... um i dont remember.. 0h yeah.. but its hella funny cuz this little boy named michael wud wake up in the morning and wait outside the house for me to come out and then he wud f0ll0w me ar0und all day!! and i t0ld my sister that all michaels are leechs lol!! but yeah.. then we watched the Singing finals.. which i d0nt kn0w h0w any 0f them were finalists!! well the little b0y wh0 w0n and the w0man wh0 w0n were great singers!! but everyone else.. ehhhhhhh.. 0h what else.. 0h yeah and then f0r the dancing c0mpetiti0n.. there were these drags... wh0 did n0t have theyre stuff t0gether.. ugh it was freakin reetarded.. but then there were three that wudda been 0h Philippines best dance crew cuz they were g0od..

0hkay saturday was pretty much a wh0le bunch 0f drama all day.. i will skip all 0f that and speak 0f 0nLy the g0od.. it was kinda sad cuz in the middle of the night u cud hear daisy being killed and the three piggs were squealing because they were also being killed =[ oh well i still ate em... lol... rest in peace daisy.. there wasnt much to say about saturday.. the older adults got into it because they said they was workin us too much and that we were 0n vaca and we shud be able 2 enj0y 0ur vacay.. s0o we 0nly served the players 0ne m0re time.. and then my dad and my uncles took us to a cock fight in the jungle.. it was crazy.. first off... me, my sister stephanie, and my cousin marissa were the only girls there!! then they had to size up the cocks.. lol and then they had 2 put the blades 0n them.. then my dad and my uncles betted 0n a c0ck and they l0st b0o wh0o.. then the next time they let us bet and we betted 0n the br0wn c0ck 0ver the white 0ne and it was a draw.. dang it hella sucks!! but it was so exciting watching them fight.. although my sister and cousin were acting like such girls.. they was so scared and stuff screaming lol!! 0h and then at night they had a dance and we were g0nna dance and stuff but the tent fell d0wn because it started raining s0o we went h0me and went 2 sleep..

0hkay sunday was much better!! we didnt g0 2 church because they said 0ur cl0thes were unacceptable 2 wear.. but we fed the kids and stuff and then we hung 0ut all day with 0ur c0usins that lived there... i cant remember much.. but at night we went 2 the dance again since the night bef0re it was ruined... they had the amenudo dance i think thats what its called... its when u do the traditional filipino dance and people come and throw money at u and the money gets donated 2 the village... me and matt were the 0nly 0nes 2 d0 it 0ut 0f all 0f the c0usins... it was s0o much fun th0.. matthew was s0o funny.. and he had 0ur wh0le family thr0wing m0ney at him... then when i went 0ur wh0le family made it rain!! lol... then s0me rand0m ass b0ys came up and d0nated m0ney and my c0usin was gigglin she was like they like u.. then we danced all night and finally went h0me at like 2am..

M0nday was auntie beths free clinic and s0o we helped her set up and we helped pass 0ut cl0thes and sch0ol supplies and t0ys to the children and adults of the village... and at night we played basketball with some of the people who lived there then we packed 0ur stuff and went to sleep...

this trip was an experience of a lifetime.. it made me realize how fortunate we are to live in the united states... i enjoyed my stay in asgad and hopefully tomorrow we will be off to Boracay 2 PARTAY!! LOL

isLand c0ve

s0o f0r y0u wh0 d0nt talk 2 me everyday.. My c0usins were als0 c0ming here 2 the Philippines.. yay!! they're flight was a Saturday after ours and they were supposed 2 get here that Monday just like 0urs but they're flight was delayed 12 h0urs!! yikes!! that sucks!! but they made it!! s0 t0day we actually went 2 a res0rt called island c0ve..




THere y0u g0!! Matthew && Marie [[ My c0usins]] and me, Stephanie, && Marquis!! s0o first we were all hella hungry s0o we ate!! we had Pancit Bih0n and Cant0n [[which basically means pancit wid hella little noodles and pancit wid the big noodles]] and sinagong, shrimp, and s0me 0ther stuff i d0nt kn0w the name 0f but was hella g0od.. and 0f c0urse we had rice!! lol.. yeah s0o while we were waiting hella h0urs f0r 0ur f00d 2 c0me we t0ok hella pictures that are in the philippines album!! then we were hella reminesin 0r h0wever u spell it.. and we think that it wud have been hella better if all 0f us were there [[ steven, michael, and melanie are missing]] but we still had fun!! but anyways we talked ab0ut 0ur 0ld summers we spent t0gether at my mama and papas h0use in alameda and h0w we used 2 have HELLA FUN!! lol and matt was like remember h0w we used 2 swim in the recycling bins like wdf this aint swimmin its splashin!! lol.. we were just havin hella fun talkin ab0ut the 0ld times and h0w every0ne has g0ne 0ff they're 0wn way.. fr0m having b0yfriends/girl friends 2 babies 2 j0bs 2 everything!!

0kay after we ate we were ready 2 g0 swimming.. s0 when we tried 2 get 0ur tickets the guy was like 250 pesos each s0 were like 0kay but my c0usins had 2 get my tita f0r the m0ney.. s0 when she came they tried 2 tell her s0me wh0le 0ther st0ry.. talkin ab0ut 250 plus an0ther 100 pes0s f0r a fuckin sitting fee wdf we d0nt wanna sit we wanna swim!! its because they knew we were americans s0 they were tryna swiv us.. s0o 0f c0urse we went and g0t the men!! s0o yeah we like g0t in and they gave us a free 30 minute bike ride.. 0kay s0 when we went swimming we all jumped in but we hella f0rg0t that my sister stephanie cant even swim!! s0 were all jumping in 6 feet and shes like sitting there like uhhhhhhhhhhhh!! lol s0 then we decide 2 g0 d0wn the slides and take pictures and stuff since my c0usins cam is water pr00f [[ iLL have 2 get th0se pics asap!!]] but yeah.. i went d0wn like every slide and i was hella scared.. and the water kept 0n g0in in my n0se!! ugh and it was hella irritatin me! s0o yeah then we like swam.. we all kn0w what that is right?! lol.. 0kay im d0ne talkin b0ut that.. s0o then we sh0wered and we went f0r 0ur free bike ride!!





yeah this picture is 0f Marquis, stephanie, me, matt, and marie!! lol.. 0kay s0o they t0ld us that 0ur tickets als0 b0ught us a free trip 2 the z0o!! yay!! we were hella excited.. s0o when we r0de 2 the z0o and when we g0t in there the guy tried 2 tax us AGAIN!! were like wdf they're hella tryna swiv us cuz were american!! but f that were n0t getting swived.. s0o i was like the guys up there just t0ld us that if we sh0w these tickets we get t0 g0 in the z0o f0r free.. s0o he was like h0ld 0n let me ask her! and then he came back and was like 0kay u can g0!! yeah nigga was tryna swiv us f0r s0me m0re pes0s but we werent havin it.. s0o the z0o l0oked pretty dead and we were hella scared because it looked kinda deserted.. we didnt see to many animals!! like y0 wats up wid that!! but then we seen s0me 0striches excuse my spelling if its wr0ng!! but yeah then we seen this sheep like sitting 0n the side 0f the r0ad.. and were like wdf and we started riding 0ff 0n 0ur bikes hella fast!! hahaha 0kay s0o then we seen m0re 0striches and were like wdf are we g0nna see anything else.. s0 then we get 2 the reptile h0use and they were all like d0es any0ne wanna h0ld the baby alligat0r and im like sure ill h0ld it!! and i was hekka scared but i held it!! i was like 0h c0ol marq take a pictue!! and then the guy says 20 pesos f0r 2 pictures!! WDF!! i was like fuck that take this damn alligat0r 0ut 0f my hand N0W!! s0 then were like lets leave this z0o is hella b0otsey h0w they g0nna try t0 charge us 2 take a freakin picture!! whats wr0ng with them.. then the guy calls us back and was like 0kay 0kay ill sh0w u s0me m0re cr0cc0diles and u can take pics.. s0o then thats h0w we g0t the pic 0f the alligat0rs and m0nkeys.. but man that wudda been a c0ol pic 0f me h0ldin the baby alligat0r!! d0nt u think?! but yeah after that were like lets g0 0ur 30 minutes is pr0bably up anyways.. s0 next we see s0me pigs/b0ars.. i d0nt kn0w which 0ne they were... but they were hekka cute!! and then were c0min back ar0und 2 where the freakiin g0ats were and remember h0w earlier i t0ld u the gate was 0pen.. s0o like n0w theres hella g0ats and sheep everywhere 0n the freakin path 2 leave 0ut 0f the damn z0o!! s0o were all like 0h shit h0w we g0nna get 0ut.. s0 were like 0n the c0unt 0f three every0ne start pushin up 0utta here.. s0 were g0in hella fast and mee!! i l0ve animals!! s0 im sl0win d0wn tryna l0ok and theres this hella cute baby g0at and my c0usin alm0st runs int0 me cuz i hella sl0w d0wn!! l0l.. but then we get 0ut 0f there and were h0t again!! ugh.. but n0w its time 2 g0 h0me s0o we g0 h0me and yeah the day ends basically.. i had fun th0!!
heres s0me pics 0f the 0striches..

We went 0n a BuLL RiDE!!!

0kay 2day was s0o chill.. alth0ugh im h0mesick i am having fun hangin wid my br0ther and sister and m0y m0y!! 0kay s0o t0day we w0ke up and had breakfast.. t0ok 0ur sh0wers.. and i talked 2 my m0mmy.. then because it wasnt as h0t t0day i decided i was g0nna finish flat ir0ning my hair.. s0o i flat ir0ned it and put s0me curls in it!! after i g0t d0ne with my hair we ate lunch!! and then we went 0ut.. we didnt d0 a l0t but i still had fun.. s0o we went 2 g0 see the v0lcan0!! idk what it is called and i d0nt kn0w if u can see it well in the pictures because it was f0ggy but its s0o beautiful..




s0o yeah we hung ar0und and t0ok pictues.. [[ u can see them in the phillippines album]] yeah but we had a go0d time.. M0y m0y is teaching me a little bit 0f tagal0g.. he speaks english but hes not confident so were teaching each 0ther.. 0h yeah s0mething else ive 0bserved ab0ut the philippines....

**an0ther disc0very** ive n0ticed while driving along the road.. that people use their horn for everything.. well they use it t0 let 0thers kn0w they are c0ming.. they d0nt really have traffic rules here in cavite s0 i guess if y0ur driving 0n the wr0ng side 0f the street it wud be g0od 2 h0nk 2 let 0thers kn0w y0ur c0ming.. l0l..

0hkay back 2 the day.. after that were were g0nna g0 h0rse back riding but marquis didnt want 2 d0 it s0o we r0de in the bull instead!! lol.. 0mg that was an experience 0f a lifetime!! lol s0o at first it was bumpy and we were like 0h My Jesus!! 0h and Marq alm0st fell 0ut.. lol.. but then the bull st0pped and went kaka!! lol.. it literally st0pped went p0op and kept 0n walkin like it didnt just take a shit right in fr0nt 0f us!! lol... then the bull fell!! lol.. it just collapsed g0t back up and kept it pushin.. lol.. it was s0o much fun th0o.. and mud kept 0n splashin 0n us... 0kay s0o after we went ar0und 0nce the guy was like again.. and we went ar0und again... and again... and again... lol.. if my dad didnt tell him 2 st0p we wud have g0ne ar0und f0r h0urs.. lol.. 0h yeah.. it was hekka funny.. becuz marquis was like my hat better n0t fall 0ff.. and then we seen this slipper layin in the mud and we started bustin up laughin... l0l cuz s0meb0dy l0st a sh0e!! 0h yeah and while we went ar0und f0r hekka times it started raining!! 0f c0urse my hair was ruined becuz u kn0w black pe0ple hair cant take rain.. but 0h well.. i had a g0od time riding a bull.. and it didnt even c0st anything.. it c0st 50 pesos a pers0n s0 200 pesos alt0gether [[ that was 1 dollar and some change a pers0n]]




s0o basically that was 0ur day... 0h yeah.. and it was hekka funny becuz we were in traffic and my tito puts the car in park and gets 0ut s0 he can sm0ke a cigarette l0l.. i was weak.. but yeah i had a g0od day t0day!!

we went 2 g0 see my dads 0ld shaCk.. lol

0kay s0o we didnt d0 much taday.. we were g0nna g0 2 the club but we went wid my dad instead.. first this lady came 2 the h0use and did me and stephanies nails and feet.. idk she did an alright job but hey what d0 u expect f0r eight d0llas f0r the b0th 0f us.. but yeahh.. then i talked 2 my m0mmy 0n the c0mputer.. n then we went 2 s0me place.. marquis b0ught an0ther psp.. and spend all 0f 0ur m0ney dad gave us!! im kinda mad because i didnt even get anything.. stephanie b0ught cl0thes yesterday and marquis b0ught the psp.. and i didnt get anything basically.. but whatevs.. im n0t trippen.. but yeah.. s0o then we went t0o visit 0ur tita ella that used 2 live in the US but m0ved back here.. shes gettin very 0ld and she barely remembered us.. then after that we went 2 g0 see where my dad used 2 live.. it was n0t hekka bad.. but it wasnt g0od either.. idk it l0oked like a shack.. but weve seen w0rse h0uses 0ut here in the philippines.. but yeah thats all we did t0day


!!

G0in 0ut f0r Drinks

im h0me sick!! ugh!! i hate it and i havent even been g0ne a week.. its t0o different 0ver here!! but let me tell y0u ab0ut my day t0day.

0kay t0day we went a l0t 0f places... first we went 2 the mall with my c0usin n his girl.. it was kind 0f a b0otsey mall i guess..

0h bef0re i talk ab0ut the mall.. let me tell y0u ab0ut s0mething i saw that was mind b0ggling.. 0kay 0ut here they ride a l0t 0f m0t0rcycles right.. and i kn0w that its n0rmal t0 n0t wear helmets 0r 2 wear bike helmets [[L0L]] but there was this lady riding 0n the back 0f a m0t0rcycle and she had a baby just standing in between her and the driver!! i was like 0h my jesus what the fuck?! i was scared f0r the little b0ys life.. and im n0t exaggerating.. it was an infant.. n0 0lder than 2.. and they drive hella crazy 0ut here..

0kay back 2 the mall.. s0o there was n0thing 0f any intrest 0f buying.. s0o like i was l0okin f0r the buddha necklace f0r marcus br0ther and it was irritatin the hell 0ut 0f me.. everywhere i went they 0nly had bracelets.. and then the 0ne place that did have it wanted like 50 d0llars and it l0oked hella fake didnt even l0ok like buddha.. s0 i was like fuck that shit.. it kinda l0oked like just cuz i asked they put s0me emble 0n a string and tried 2 sell it t0 me like i d0nt kn0w what fuckin buddha l0oks like.. wdf!! but yeah.. s0ol then we went 2 g0 c GI J0e.. at first i was like i wish i was at h0me cuz id rather be sleeping then watchin this gay ass m0vie.. but t0 my disbelief i l0ved it!! i 0nly think it was g0od because Marl0n was in it and he didnt die!! l0l. and i liked the fact that they had the little l0ve st0ry and stuff g0in 0n... l0l.. well after that.. we went t0 an0ther mall.. while we were leaving, this lady came 2 the car wind0w asking f0r s0me pes0s.. s0 my c0usins girl gave her s0me m0ney and then here c0mes three little b0ys p0unding 0n the wind0w.. l0l. dumbie!! 0nce y0u start they keep 0n c0min..

0h yeah bef0re i talk ab0ut the next bay experience.. i g0tta tell y0u ab0ut h0w my c0usin alm0st g0t a ticket [[i wish y0u c0uld d0 this at h0me]] 0kay s0 like the p0lice wasnt even in a car 0r n0thin he was 0n fo0t... s0 he says st0p and my c0usin kinda just kept g0in s0 he like pulls 0n the car.. s0 my c0usin pulls 0ver and hes like shit.. s0 he takes 0ut his id and i n0tice he take 0ut s0me pes0s.. s0o like theyre talkin in tagal0g s0 i d0nt kn0w what the hell is g0in 0n.. then i see him slip the p0lice s0me m0ney and then the p0lice starts laughin and stuff and then we leave.. when we pull 0ff my c0usins all like FUCK!! i just gave him 100 pesos [[which is equivilent t0 2 dollas and s0me change here]] then he tells us h0w he t0ld the p0lice n0t 2 give us a ticket and then the p0lice t0ld him h0w 2 av0id 0ther p0lice wdf?! lol

but yeah.. s0o we went 2 the 0ther mall.. n i was g0nna buy this shirt but idk i didnt like the way it l0oked 0n meeh.. but it was hella cute... 0h my g0d.. and any0ne wh0 kn0ws me kn0ws i l0ve plaid.. n they had all differnt kinda cute ass plaid shirts f0r 250 pesos [[like 5 d0llas]] and i was hella mad becuz i cuddnt fit any 0f them becuz they were 0ne size fits all but what they mean is 0ne size fits asian lol but yeah i went lookin f0r buddha again and i cant find a damn necklace!! i can 0nly find bracelets!! ugh!! hella sucks!! imma keep l0okin th0.. cuz im s0lid like that.. but yeah i didnt buy anything..

s0o next we went f0r drinks.. we b0ught a pitcher 0f strawberry margarita f0r 350 pes0s [[ like 7 d0llas]] like a regular margarita c0st m0re than that and it was a l0t.. yeah s0o i was a little tips.. but n0t all that cuz i shared it.. s0o i had like 2 cups..

but yeah then we went 2 eat s0me b0mb ass shirmp and 0ysters and rice!! yummmm!! 0kay and then we t0ok his girl h0me.. and i was ready 2 be back and take a c0ld sh0wer and sit here and write this bl0g.. t0 update my readers 0n my day in the PI!! yay!! t0m0rr0w were g0nna hit up the club s0o l0ok f0rward 2 hearing ab0ut that..

0h yeah 0ne m0re thing.. damn marquis just made me f0rget.. 0h yeah.. when we went t0 the restaurant they were d0in kare0kee is that h0w u spell it?! i d0nt think s0o but u kn0w what im talkin b0ut.. well this guy was hella singin and l0okin at us.. he l0oked hella fagish [[n0 0ffense 2 any 0f my gay friends]] but yeah marquis was like i h0pe he was l0okin at y0u because if he was l0okin at me we g0tta leave!! l0l he had me weak all day!! i l0ve my little marqkie b0o... lol.. well yeah i l0ve y0u guys and im 0ut!!

s0o My Dad heLLa Swived us t0day

0kay.. he tells us were g0ing 2 a res0rt and were g0nna be able 2 swim in thee 0cean.. s0 like were hella excited and stuff... he t0ld us 2 pack 0ur bathing suits and stuff hella early this m0rning.. ugh i hate him!! [[n0 i really d0nt but he made me wanna sing that damn d-l0 s0ng u played me lol]] 0kay s0 we didnt even end up g0in 2 n0 res0rt we went 2 g0 lo0k at res0rts!! and 0mg the guy wh0 dr0ve us 2 l0ok at the res0rts driving was s0 h0rrible i g0t sick 2 my st0mach.. ugh.. i swear like 3 0r f0ur time i flew 0ut 0f my seat!! and i had a freakin seat belt 0n!! s0 we l0oked at s0me res0rts.. which were 0kay but what the hell are we l0okin if were n0t buyin... 0ne 0f them was right 0n the 0cean which hella was like a teaser!! 0h yeah.. and 0n the way there.. we had 2 like g0 thr0ugh the jungle!! i swear!! there was hella banana, mang0, and c0c0nut trees everywhere!! and we were g0ing d0wn this very windy r0ad.. and the guy driving was just driving like he was ab0ut 2 g0 0ff the side 0f the clif and right when we were ab0ut 2 he wud hella swirv and we wud be safe.. but that shit was Scarey.. 0h yeah.. id like t0 add that the ch0c0late 0ut ere is nasty.. its n0t rich.. i can say that its n0t hershys lol.. 0h yeah but yeah we did a wh0le bunch 0f walking ar0und in the h0t rain l0oking at m0del h0mes.. they were hella small.. s0 i didnt enj0y t0day.. n0t 0ne bit!! and if all days are g0nna be like this.. i might need 2 c0me back early!! n0 i lie!! next week my c0usins Marissa and Matthew will be here!! Marissa is turning 21 0n the 10th wh0o h0o.. and Matthew is turning 19!! yay!! s0 my c0usin Kervin is g0nna take us t0 the club!! hahah..

but umm.. what else was i g0nna say?! 0h yeah.. my dad t0ok us t0 Pizza hut!! 0mg.. they're shit is hella differnt than 0urs.. first y0u can eat there.. 0h and they serve 0ther stuff besides pizza.. like spaghetti.. and rice and chicken... and s0up.. and ribs!! l0l. and their famiily size is like 0ur medium.. but its cheap s0 0h well.. we 0rdered f0ur family size pizzas, s0me spaghetti, ribs, drinks, etc. and its 0nly came up 2 like 30 american d0llas.. u kn0w if u was 2 0rder all that in the US it wud be like 100 s0methin.. l0l.. but yeah i have a head ache and im tired.. s0o imma end this n0te!! if i remember s0methin else interesting ill update my bl0g!!

Jasmine's Phillipine Mall Trip!!

0kay ladies and gents!! i had my first mall experience in the Philippines... and yes there are malls in the philippines!! we went to the mall of asia!! the biggest mall ive ever been in in my life.. there is practically anything you wud want 2 buy in that mall!! 0kayy.. s0 umm.. where d0 i start.. the mall was in Manila.. they had all kinds of stores.. stores i never heard of and stores we have here at h0me.. they even had f0rever 21.. except it was called 21 f0rever l0l.. its crazy cuz it l0oks like everything is s0 expensive when its n0t.. s0 like a shirt wud be like 999 pesos which if u just look at the price tag lo0ks hella expensive but really.. its 0nly like 20 d0lalrs!! 0h and they have s0 much security.. whenever y0u c0me int0 a differnt part 0f the mall, the security checks ur bag.. and they l0ok s0 damn seri0us.. and they actually carry real guns.. well anyways.. s0o i b0ught a purse fr0m aLd0, and 3 shirts, a r0sary, and a r0sary bracelet.. this wasnt the kind 0f mall where i cud have g0t s0uvenirs 0r else i wud have g0tten s0me.. i still d0nt kn0w wh0 im even buying s0uvenirs..im 0nly sure im buying my m0m, Krystal and Mukhaye s0mething... Maybe hayw0od if i find s0mething i think he wud like.. maybe ill just buy his drunkin ass a sh0t glass... and idk wh0 else... 0h n maybe mari0 but shit... what d0 u want?! idk im hella l0st.. if y0u want s0mething.. and y0ur cl0se enuf 2 me 2 ask f0r s0methin.. d0nt ask if y0ur my ass0ciate and u 0nly hit me 0n 0ccasi0n cuz imma laugh.. ill bring u back s0me 0f that nasty ch0c0late my dad b0ught mee..

0h yeah.. we saw cattle 0n the highway l0l!! like three 0f them just walking!! d0o d0o d0o l0ll... and there were pe0ple 0n the high way during traffic h0urs selling things!! c0ming up t0 ur wind0w askiing u if u wanted 2 buy s0mething.. 0h and acr0ss fr0m the mall is the sh0re line.. and there was this crazy little thing!! 0kay there were like these big bubbles sitting 0n this thing 0f water.. and the kids wud get in the bubbles and try 2 walk ar0und 0n the water!! my sister rec0rded it s0 ill pr0bably have a vide0 0f it 0r s0methin s0on.. we were at the mall f0r a l0ng time.. because it was s0 big and we wanted t0 see everything!! 0h yeah and 0ne m0re thing that i th0ught was funny that i heard in the car 0n the way there and back..

877 8888 KFC Delivery!! l0l. they have KFC 0ut here and apparently they deliver!! thats c0ol.. 0h yeah and its crazy.. the mall als0 had a big ass imax theater inside and a big ass ice skating rink.. i was amazed... hmmmmmmm... what 0ther c0ol sh0ps did i see.. they had a sh0p called internet cafe where u pay 2 use the internet and als0 a game cafe where u g0 and play vide0 games.. i was abs0lutely in l0ve when i was there.. t0m0rr0w were g0ing t0 a res0rt and ill finally be able 2 g0 2 the beach!! can y0u believe it.. ive been here f0r tw0 days and still havent been.. but its raining pretty hard right n0w and im g0nna g0 get a bite t0 eat!! t0m0rr0w i w0nt be able 2 be 0n the c0mputer much.. s0 i l0ve all my readers and my next bl0g will be ab0ut the res0rt!! iLy!! ch0w

0h yeahh.. 0ne m0re thing 2 say!! it has n0thin 2 d0 wid thee mall but id just th0ught u guys wud like 2 kn0w.. 1st.. there are big ass insects and bugs 0ut here.. there was this big ass bug attacking me and my sister t0day.. it was like flying straight at us.. i tried 2 kill it and it fell 2 the gr0und.. and when we werent l00king it like p0ped up and started attacking me!! l0l. we just had the maid c0me kill it!! she was hella scared th0!! lol..s0o then n0w i just seen a huge ass spider.. n0w u whimps that be gettin scared 0ver them little ass spiders in sac wud have a fuckin heat attack if yU seen this big ass creature that i just saw.. it cudda been 0ne 0f th0se spiders u buy at thee st0re as y0ur pet!! l0l. welp thats it!!

AIRPLANE RIDE 2 THE PHILIPPINES

OKAY SO.. WE LEFT OUT OF SFO SO FIRST WE HAD 2 FIRST DRIVE THERE.. AND THEN WHEN WE FINALLY GOT THERE... THE CHECK IN LINE WAS HELLA LOOOOOOOOOOOONG... 0MG.. WE WERE LIKE IN A WHOLE NOTHER AIRLINE TERMINAL.. WHILE WE WERE HAULING OUR FOUR BOXES, FOUR LUGGAGES, AND FOUR CARRY ONS.. STEPHANIE ACCIDENTLY BUMPED INTO THE LADY IN FRONT OF US... LOL.. SHE WAS BITCH... STEPHANIE SAID SORRY AND SHE JUST GAVE HER THIS UGLY LOOK... AFTER WE GOT OUR 4 LUGGAGES AND 4 BOXES CHECKED IN, WE HAD FOR MY DAD 2 TAKE FREAKIN SMOKE BREAK... 0MG AND WE HAD 2 SHOW OUR PASSPORTS 2094828430 TIMES.. OH YEAH OKAY LETS TALK ABOUT GOING THROUGH SECURITY CHECK... THEY WOULDNT LET ME TAKE MY WATER BUT WHATEVS.. I F0RG0T U CANT TAKE ANY LIQUID.. THE FUNNIEST PART WAS MY DAD GETTING THRU.. EVERYTIME WE TRAVEL HE ALWAYS HAS 2 GO 2 THE SECLUDED AREA AND GET THE EXTRA PAT DOWN.. THIS TIME THEY MADE HIM AND MARQUIS DO IT.. I SAY THEY MAKE HIM DO IT BECAUSE OF HIS NAME.. COME ON.. WENCESLAO.. THATS NOT AN AVERAGE AMERICAN NAME YA FEEL...THEN THIS BIGG ASS BLACK LADY PICKED OUT MY DADS BAG AND STARTED YELLING WHOS BAG IS THIS PUTTING HIM ON BLAST... TURNS OUT HE PUT MOUTH WASH IN HIS CARRY ON... OK SO AFTER THE SECURTIY CHECK WE WENT AND SENT 56 DOLLARS ON SOME NASTY ASS SANDWHICHES.. WELL TECHNICALLY... THE AIRLINES ARE SOME PIMPS BECAUSE THEY KNOW YOUR ASS B HUNGRY AND YOU CANT GET ANY LIQUIDS IN SO THEY GONNA CHARGE U 3.25 FOR A BOTTLE OF WATER AND 10 DOLLAS FOR A DAMN SANDWHICH.. WDF TYPE OF SHIT IS THAT?!!?! OH WELL.. ITS LIFE.. SO WE GO 2 THEE GATE AND GUESS WHO WE RUN INTO?! REMEMBER THE LADY THAT STEPHANIE BUMPED INTO IN THE CHECK IN LINE?! WE RAN INTO HER AGAIN... WELL ACTUALLY.. MARQUIS BUMPED INTO HER AND ALMOST KNOCKED HER DOWN.. WELL HE SHUD HAVE KNOCKED HER DOWN AFTER THE LOOK SHE GAVE HIM.. HE APOLOGIZED AND SHE GAVE HIM THIS NASTY LOOK.. [[WHAT A BITCH]] THEN WE STARTED BOARDING.. FIRST THEY GOT ALL THE PEOPLE IN WHEEL CHAIRS BOARDED.. AND 0MG THERE WAS LIKE 30 OF THEM.. THEN THEY BORDED THE "ELITE/BUSINESS" CLASS.. AND THEN THEY BOARED THE "FIESTA" CLASS WHICH IS ALSO KNOWN AS COACH.. SO OUR SEATS WERE IN THE BACK.. WERE SEATED.. HELLA EXCITED TO TAKE OFF.. AND IT IS TAKING US FOREVER TO TAKE OFF.. WERE JUST CRUSIN ALONG THE BLACK TOP DU DA DU DA DUOO.. AND FINALLY WE TAKE OFF.. I WAS SO HAPPY TO BE IN THE AIR BECAUSE RIGHT BEFORE WE TOOK OFF I TOOK MY PROMETHEZINE PILLS AND I WAS TIRED.. WELL I SLEPT 10 HOURS OUT OF THE 12 HOUR FLIGHT.. SO TO ME THE FLIGHT WAS PRETTY EASY.

OKAY LETS GO OVER SOME THINGS THAT WERE INTERESTING ABOUT THE PLANE.. AND SOME THAT WERE DISAPPOINTING.. NUMBER 1.. THERE WERE PERSONAL TVS ON THE BACK OF EACH CHAIR.. SO WE WATCHED DVDS, CUD WATCH SOME TV SERIES, PLAY GAMES, AND ALSO FOLLOW WHERE WE WERE ON THE FLIGHT.. THE DOWN SIDE WAS THAT ALTHOUGH EVERYONE ELSES MAP WAS WORKING.. ME, MARQ, STEPH, AND DADS WASNT.. ALSO... DADS SEAT DIDNT RECLINE SOO HE CUDDNT RELAX THE WHOLE FLIGHT.. THEY ASKED HIM IF HE WANTED TO SIT SOMEWHERE ELSE BUT HE SAID NO BECAUSE THEN HE WUDDNT BE SITTING WITH US..

NUMBER 2.. THEY SERVED US DINNER AND BREAKFAST.. WHICH WERE BOTH NASTY.. LOL.. OKAY FOR DINNER I HAD SEA FOOD.. AND IT WAS ALRIGHT I GUESS.. THE SHRIMP WAS GOOD BUT WHATEVER THE HELL ELSE WAS IN THERE WAS NASTY.. FOR BREAKFAST I HAD BEEF.. IDK WHAT IT WAS BUT IT WAS NASTY TOO.. THE ONLY GOOD THING WAS THE BREAD AND THE FRUIT..

NUMBER 3.. WHEN WE WERE GETTING CLOSE TO LANDING.. THEY GAVE US HOT TOWELS TO SANATIZE WITH.. WE LOOKED LIKE FOREIGNERS BECAUSE WE WERE WATCHING THE OTHER PEOPLE COPYING THEM.. LOL IT WAS FUNNY BECAUSE THIS ONE LADY WAS SRCUBING HER FEET!! LOL.

NUMBER 4.. THE FLIGHT ATTENDANTS.. ME AND MARQUIS HAD A NICE FLIGHT ATTENDANT WHO WOULD SERVE US PROPERLY WHERE STEPHANIE AND DAD HAD A BITCHY ASS FLIGHT ATTENDANT LOL. DAD SAID SHE WAS BITCHY BECAUSE THEY MADE HER CLEAN THE BATHROOM..

OVERALL I ENJOYED THE FLIGHT OVER.. GETTING INTO THE COUNTRY THO WAS CRAZY.. WE HAD TO FILL OUT SO MANY PAPERS.. AND GET OUR PASSPORTS STAMPED.. AND GETTING OUR LUGGAGE WAS CRAZY.. IDK HOW WE EVEN GOT IT ALL... OH AND THE PEOPLE DRIVE CRAZY AS HELL OVER HERE.. LIKE THERES NO RULES TO DRIVING.. THEY JUST DRIVE.. WHO CARES IF THEYRE ON THE WRONG SIDE OF THE STREET AS LONG AS THEY DONT HIT PEDESTRIANS.. THEY DRIVE HOWEVER.. ALSO.. THERE WAS PEDESTRIANS AND BIKES ON THE HIGHWAY!! LIKE WDF!! BUT IT IS VERY BEAUTIFUL OUT HERE!! THERE WILL BE MORE BLOGS LATER ABOUT DIFFERENT THINGS WE DO OUT HERE.. ILL BE HERE ALL MONTH SO LOOK FORWARD TO MY ADVENTURES IN THE PHILIPPINES!!

HERES A QUiCK 0NE....

0HKAy S0 i HAD HELLA FUN HANGiN WiD My SiS.. EVEN TH0 WE DiDNT GET 2 C H0MES.. WDF.. BUT YEAHH iTS G0oD.. S0 iM PRETTY MUCH HAPPy WiD My LiFE RiGHT N0W.. N0T PiCkiN My 0PTi0nS yET.. i KN0W A FEW D0NE G0T KiCKED 0FF THEE LiST.. BUT 0H WELL... D0NT PiSS ME 0FF N y0U CAN KEEP y0UR P0SiTi0N.. i CAN SEE iT iN yA EyEz y0U D0NT L0VE MEEH.. MAN.. iM HELLA DEBATiN THEE WH0LE SiTUATi0N.. iD FA SH0 B A F0oL FA REALZ.. BUT yUP UMM THERE iS N0T MUCH 2 SAy S0 iMMA END THiS N0TE!

That BitCh BL0ody Mary Needs t0 DIE!!

I hate bein 0n my peri0d mannnnnnn!!
CRAMPS HELLA SUCK!!
and i freakin feel like jumping off a damn cliff... uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh. someone save me!!
this is when i wish i was a dude! at least i wont have to get a period every month.
but yeah then my emotions and hormones be hella high and my mind plays tricks on me. im not even gonna lie just leave me alooooooooooone.

MADE iT THR0UGH MAy

i made it thr0ugh may and i can honestly see myself transf0rming.. ive been hangin with my best buds and its great.. 2 nights ago we had a movie night at mukhaye house but we fell asleep [[except mukhaye]] so that wasnt really a success. then last night we went to see "The Hangover" which is the funniest movie I have seen in a long itme... Basically i been sittin back chillen n0t w0rried ab0ut n0 b0yz because i want 2 have fun... lately.. b0ys have been 2 much stress 0n my heart and i dont have time for it.. well 0f c0urse i see michaels ass everyday... but it aint the same.. s0methin aint right.. and im n0t ab0ut 2 sit ar0und and have my feelings hurt again s0 im g0od.. but yup.. ive been great!! i cant wait until this weekend when i go 2 the bay area again.. it will be fun!!yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

well...

f0r the last 2.6 years i have been g0ing thr0ugh s0 much tryin 2 stand by my man like a d0wn ass female is supposed 2 d0... ive been faithful and havent cheated and now im tired of being on this r0ller c0aser... s0 im jumpin 0ff the ride and yes.. ive landed 0n my tw0 feet... its g00d th0ugh because i will be 0kay... im 21 and i have many years 2 l0ok f0rward t0o.. at first i was alright becuz although i l0st m0st 0f my friends i had my b0o by my side s0 i was g0od.. but then.. he left me... and expected me t0 b sittin here waiting... but wh0 did i have here 2 help me survive?! n0b0dy becuz i didnt talk 2 any0ne anymore... but y0u kn0w what... i have s0me friends that i h0nestly c0nsider my true friends... First & f0rm0st...MD... u are my friend... whenever i needed 2 talk.. u was available.. whenever u needed to talk about ur girl.. i wasnt.. but u didnt d0 me dirty... u was still my friend.. Alth0ugh we fight and bicker like were enemies... My friend mukhaye... becuz she is a stupid bz.. lol.... naw but she keeps me 0n an adult level and n0t g0in back 2 my 0ld ways 0f m0ppin a bitch 0r nigga... And last but n0t least!! hayw0od freakin D0uglas!! Drunk ass nigga!! lol... but yeah.. im simply tryin to survive.. im s0 excited 2 g0 2 the bay area this weekend... ive never been so excited in my life!! lol... but basically i just wanna live.. not go through drama like im married.. because as much as i was brain washed into thinkin we was ever gonna get married... we arent.. But yup thats all i have 2 say right now..

iTs funny reading 0ld bl0gs

last tuesday i was s0 happy and n0w im crappy wdf!

i Am tired 0f being let d0wn

IM h0nestly C0nsidering m0ving 0n with my life... i kn0w it will be hard at first.. but i will 0verc0me.. i just need the 0nes that are cl0se 2 me.. which isnt a lot to stand by my side.. i kn0w n0bd0y wants 2 hear me whine and c0mplain all the time.. but if y0u were ever g0ing thr0ugh a hard time.. i w0uld m0st definately h0ld y0u down.. pleae believe.. but idk.. yesterday he came h0me but didnt want 2 c me.. i have 2 w0rk at 5 t0day and if i d0nt see him bef0re that im cl0sing the b0ok and opening up a new 0ne.. ill d0 the single thing f0r a while.. and then eventually ill find s0me0ne wh0 is w0rth my time.. i have 2 much p0tential t0 let s0me0ne make me feel miserable..

s0metimes y0u have 2 let g0 && see what happens...

I LOVE michael unc0nditionally but What am i t0 d0 ab0ut my current situation... i want 2 believe him s0 bad but what if every0ne else is right.. I understand that i have been a m0nster the last few m0nths and i deserve pay back... but Karma is a straight bitch and this shit is straight t0rture... 0mg im g0nna die!! i miss him s0 much and i d0nt kn0w what 2 d0.. L0ve is Crazy... 0nce y0u fall in l0ve its like y0u are trapped and there is n0 way 0ut.. h0w much y0u try... i d0nt want t0 leave him.. i really d0nt.. i feel like i put in t0o much time and eff0rt int0 this relati0nship f0r it t0 just end.. but i want 0ur relati0nship 2 b less cha0tic and m0re l0vin... we had that... but what happened... where did we g0 wr0ng.. when did we turn 0ur backs 0n each 0ther.. was it me?? was it him?? was it 0ther pe0ple?? what was it? he says he still wants 2 be with me... but i d0nt know.. s0 basically ill have t0 wait and find 0ut what happens..

i d0nt want 2 b disapp0inted..

t0day is my last final and michael t0ld me he was g0ing t0 be there... yesterday he had 2 d0 s0mething with his dad and i kn0w h0w his dad is... theyll be g0ne f0rever.. s0 he texted me ar0und 7 or 8ish and asked what time my final was at and i said 10 but im leavin at 9. s0 he said 0kay and i asked if he was c0ming and he never texted back.. s0 this m0rning when i g0t up i called him & it was either dead or 0ff.. n0w i d0nt want 2 w0rry myself t0o much but if he d0esnt c0me ill be s0 disapp0inted in him.. unless s0me0ne is dead 0r in the h0spital.. n0ne 0f his excuses will w0rk.. because i t0ld him ab0ut this like a m0nth ag0 and i kept 0n reminding him.. & hes my supp0rt.. but yeah.. maybe i need 2 st0p trippin.. maybe everything will be 0kay.. but what if it d0esnt.. what d0 i d0? this is s0mething that we cant plan t0 see an0ther day.. i dont know but im stressin myself 0ut s0 im gonna end this n0te.

0mg a FUCKiN C?!

i got a freakin c in geol 8 and im so upset. en0ugh sed..

What a Wonderful day..

Besides the fact that i had a final that was mind boggling.. i had a wonderful day.. lets recap..w0ke up at 430 in the morning.. f0r s0me weird reas0ns.. because i t0tally have attachment issues.. every night before i g0 t0 sleep i talk 2 my silly bear.. and last night we were texting and then we stopped and i fell asleep and because i didnt say good night to him i tossed and turned all night!! abs0lutely sucks!! but then i started studying for the final... but i was too engaged in blooger, myspace, and facebook that my studying wasnt going to well.. but it was open book, open note so i wasnt that worried.. so anyways.. when i got to school the first thing i wanted to do was pick up my test score... YAY!! i Freakin passed... well.. u need a 29 to get into MATH 17 with no restrictions and 24 to 28 will get you in with advising.. well basically i was told i did good.. i got a 27 btw.. I was so happy because last time i needed a freakin 50 and i got a 49 and had to take the lower freakin class.. boo.. so that just made my day.. of course i had to call mukhaye and rub it all in her face... u know she thinks shes smarter than me.. so i had to let her know that your girl is a freakin nerd.. but then.. i went and printed out all the notes i needed and then i met robyn by the class and guess what... she bought me freakin jamba juice!! i was like yay.. that was so nice of here seeing as how i havent helped her in any way.. then we took the test... it was kinda hard.. well not hard.. it was just very detailed so it took me the whole two hours.. but basically that was it.. then my boo came and we hung out for a while.. and now im here writing this blog waiting for my moms show to go off so i can watch family guy.

what does forever mean?!

what does forever mean? and am i too young to be thinking about forever?! im 21 and weve been together since we were 18... that makes 2.6 years tomorrow. but am i too young to think about forever... every couple talks about marriage and kids... and we already said the number one priority is me finishing school and having thing stable as in house, car, etc. then marriage and then well think about having kids... sounds like a good plan to me.. but what if.. tomorrow we break up... then am i stupid as hell for thinking there might be a thing called forever... or at least until the end of time.. forever is a loooooooooooooooooooooooong time... what if he finds someone else?? what if i find someone else?? thinking of the future makes my brain hurt so ill just focus on the present... surviving the hard times to get to the good times...

Finals week

as michael would say, "ive been slackin in my mackin" lol... basically i waited to the last minute to study... so yeah.. well see how the test goes... i finally turned in task 5 for child development.. now i need to study for geol 8 final and then write these play reviews... thats easy because they're only a page long... then thursday i will do the play and wa laaaah.. im done with school until next semester... i also have to go pick up my math test score... mukhaye said she didnt to do well so that kinda throws me off.. but who knows.. i need to put more pride into myself and stop putting myself down... self consious is a mother!! (and if i spelled it wrong correct me) but yah ... let me get back to work

up early

Up early missin my boo but trying to get this last essay out of the way... i see that there may be some problems though... i do not find why i need to edit this freakin essay... it seems fine as it is gosh!! but once im done ill be done with english!! yay!! then i need to finish task 5 that was due a looooooooooooooooooooooooooooong time ago luckily professor Gomez is the best professor in the child development department. she knows im turning it in late and she is not taking points off!! and then once im finished with that.. im going to start studying for my geol 8 final on tuesday... which really sucks because i need to find all of my notes... and organize them... then i need to make flash cards... and i need to look over the chaper learning objectives... the test is open book open note but its cumulative and its freakin hard!! hopefully... then on thursday ill do my last final which somewhere in between tuesday and thursday... perferably wednesday... i need to finish my play write ups... and then thursday we do our play for our final.. i hope that michael comes to my final... it would mean a lot to me... but who knows... right now hes out of town and who knows when hes coming back... he said he was going to try to make it but we will see... i dont want to rely on him coming and be excited and then theirs some reason why he cant come... then i wont be motivated... but basically im going to get back to this essay its due at 9!

What am i going to do today?

Im so trying to to go crazy.. trying to work on some of these essays... I absolutely miss my baby and i'm going crazy!! ahhhhhhhhhh... well.. i'm thinking about going to buy a bathing suit and hitting the gym. it will help me relieve some stress... I remember going to swim laps and my baby sitting there watching me.. uhhhhhhhhh... what am i going to do with my life... my goal is to get two essays done today and one done tomorrow... then i will start studying for my final in Geol 8. So basically i will find something to do today.. gosh life sucks right about now..

day 1

well this is day one of hell... no its really day one that michaels gone.. but really it feels like a whole week has passed and even though i have seen him everyday... things just aint the same.. we are both compromising to make our relationship work.. im working on my attitude and hes working on getting his self together... i dont know it just feels like forever... Maybe too because of finals... i dont know though.. im just making sure that i stay calm and finish promptly... all i know is that i love him very much and i hope i survive.

Treat Me RiGHt

Be very careful if you make a woman cry, God counts her tears. A woman came out of a man's rib, Not from his feet 2 be walked on.Not from his head 2 be superior, but from the side 2 be equal. Under the arm 2 be protected, and next 2 the heart 2 be loved♥ [Men need to remember this!]

ABCs

A - Age: 21
B - Bed size: i have a king & 2 queens and unf0rtunately im using n0ne 0f them!! =[
C - Chore you hate:bathr00m
D - Dogs names: B0sc0, Chingy, Russel, Hazel, Mallie
E - Essential start your day item: Cellphone
F - Favorite color: yell0w
G - Gold or Silver: Gold
H - Height: 5'11
I - Instruments you play:none.
J - Job title: Teacher =D
K - Kid(s): n0ne
L - Living arrangements: h0meless =[ naw... i live wid my m0mmy & daddy til september!
M - Mom's name: Jamie
N - Nicknames: Jas, Jazzy, jay, jay jay, jbaby, jassy baby...
O - Overnight hospital stay other than birth: last year the WHOLE summer!! naw... in may kidney infection.. in august.. fractured my skull..
P - Pet Peeve: when pe0ple crack their knuckles
Q - Quote from a movie: fuck that Pay me.
R - Right or left handed: Lefty!!
S - Siblings: M0ntell, Stephanie, Marquis, Krystal, Jermaine
T - Time you wake up: 7
U- Underwear: b0y sh0rts
V - Vegetable you dislike: Lima beans
W - Ways/Reasons you run late: because my damn b0yfreind is a beauty queen.. lol
X - X-rays you've had: cat scan, mri's the whole shabang
Y - Yummy food you make: Tac0s.
Z - Zoo favorites:Giraffes, zebras, m0nkeys!!

5.11.09

s0 yesterday was better... spent some time with my bebe.. it was like the first time that we just relaxed with just us in a long time!! I love him!! now im sitting at home watching the simpsons wondering if i should start my last paper for CHDV... but i dont know i dont feel like doing anything.. i was trying to play a computer game but my mom booted me off!! gosh!! but yeah im so totally bored!! hit me on facebook, myspace, or aim!!

m0thers day

i sh0uld be happy but yet im sad. sad that i do not know whats going on in my life. i feel like i brought this upon myself but why do me like this what if when you decide to come around im gone. will you cry? will you think its your fault? who knows

my LOve ♥

we been t0gether for 2 & a half years n0w and it has been a bumpy ride... idk if its me or him... or maybe its b0th 0f us.. im s0 c0nfused and my head is hurting... when we first started g0in out it was already 0n bumpy terms... we waited a minute b4 we became 0fficial but should we have waited l0nger... maybe we need 2 gr0w up... i kn0w a l0t has changed... we been livin t0gether 0ver a year and things have g0tten REAL bad... s0 n0w were apart until maybe sept.. i d0nt want us 2 break up before then.. yesterday i read 0ur sign c0mpatability... and alth0ugh i think th0se thingys arent true.. i believed what it said f0r 0ur sign... well.. im a capricorn & hes a taurus.. it said that we will have a solid relationship but they only pr0blem is that caps believe y0u have 2 0verc0me 0bstacles and that if y0u w0rk y0ur butt 0ff y0u will eventually succeed... which is very true.. im in school and i think that if i finish i will have succeeded in life... f0r his sign though... it said he believes success is in finanical stability... which is very true... weve had talks before about h0w he wants 2 make s0 much m0ney and h0w hes g0nna try 2 get it... & the sad part is that i h0nestly think that is g0ing 2 b 0ur d0wnfall.. n0w d0nt get me wr0ng.. he supp0rts me 100 percent... but d0 i really supp0rt him?? s0mtimes i talk d0wn t0 him and i kn0w i shouldnt but i d0... and im wrong... but where do i begin 2 fix the relationship?????????????? im lost