Life

Right now my life is a mess but i'm trying to stay strong and not crumble. First.. everyone knows already from my previous blog that my niece Kaniya is in the system. I'm patiently waiting for April 20 to go to court and find out what is going to happen with her.

My parents divorce as well as my best friends parents going through a divorce is a mess. I knew my parents probably should have separated a long time ago but just seeing two divorces in the process is killing me. Why do people get married if their just going to divorce later on down the road? Ugh it makes me lose a little fate in ever getting married.

Then there is love. Theres actually two.

Randy. He's sweet and I know he cares about me so much but i've never talked to someone for this long with out no relationship commitment what so ever. What the hell. I am not used to this. I love being in a relationship and at first I told him I didn't want a relationship but honestly I do. I know that he cares about me just by the things he does for me and what he says to others but the non commitment thing is making me question him. Is this a game or is he serious?

Michael. I promised i would never go back but he is trying to do everything in his power to get me back. He's going to anger management, counseling, etc. He's hella trying to show me that he's a better person but i don't know if i believe him. I been through too much pain and heartache with him to just up and jump back into a relationship with him..

Honestly, i'd rather be with Randy and watch our relationship grow but we both have baggage and we need to sort our way through all of this before we can move forward together and have a strong relationship..

The only thing going good in my life is school.. i love my classes and i'm excited that i'm getting closer to graduating. I'm debating if i'm going to go into a credential program or if I'm going to go into a Master's program. Everyone tells me that I should do both. I don't know tho.. I think i'm just going to apply to both in the fall and go from there.