March

soooooooooo march has been nothing like i planned it.. i expected.. hella drama with michael and my niece kaniya being here and it is EXACTLY the opposite of what i expected.. its been hella stress dealing with my niece and absolutely no drama with michael.. actually i cant believe how its been.. so when he got out.. i didnt see him for like a week.. but then when i did see him he looked oooooooooooooooooh sooooooooo sexy.. but i actually realized something.. the feelings that i had before.. the head over heels feeling.. the butterflies.. the smile i would get when i haddent seen him for a long time.. were no longer there.. there was a big ass void.. i think that it was absolutely awkward!! but whatevs.. when i seen him he said, "because you seen me, don't start getting all emotional.." buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut.. hits me up today sayin he needs my love and affection and wants a relationship and he doesn't understand why i don't have anytime with him when i had 2 jobs and went to school i had time for him but now i act like my life is soooooooo busy and i don't have time for him.. i didn't know what to say but i wasn't about to tell him that i was gonna be back with him so i told him maybe we needed to sit and have a lil chat.. plus i was at work.. what am i supposed to do? but we talked and he said he was just going to move on since i'm not giving him the answer he wanted.. i felt kinda bad but at the end of the day.. i have to do what's best for me. I know that Michael can make me sooooooo happy but at the same time.. he makes me heeeeeeeeeeeeellla sad and I can't deal with feeling like that.. i need someone who can make me happy 95% of the time and when i'm mad or sad.. he's tryna make it better.. i don't need someone who knows how to bring me down to my lowest and uses it to his advantage..

PLUS.. i have him.. lol. duuuuuuuuuuuh