2014 Goals

I normally don't do resolutions I just set goals.  Goals that I could work on throughout the year and at the end of the year reflect on.  So here my 2014 goals: 

1. Maintain a stable gym routine. 

2. sign-up and complete a long distance run.

3. Save money.

4. Wear my rubber bands.

5. Redecorate my apartment. 

6. Build stronger relationship with God.

2013 recap

When I was brainstorming for this year I realized that this year was a shitty year for me.. Even though I had some traumatizing events, I learned some life lessons.. So here is my 2013 recap. 

Grad School

I've had many successes this year like always. I've also had not so good times as well. The biggest success I have had was getting into the Golden Key society.  It made me feel proud that I have kept going all of these years. 

The second thing was the fact that I finally finished my proposal. Next semester I'll be able to start the process to the actual project and hopefully graduate in 2 semesters. 

Friends && Family.

Whenever you go through a struggle, you realize who your true friends are. I am just happy to say that I have some great friends who have been here for me and I'm blessed. 

Employment. 

This year's employment was crazy.  I started off at Poppy Patch like normal. Left there because of the conflict between school and my schedule. Started Nannying. But that didn't last long because the day that I needed time off because I was sick I was let go. So then I started working for the district and I absolutely love it. 

Relationships.

So I'm not going to say anything negative about anything I've been through relationship wise. I just want to say that I'm ending the end-of-the-year single. Normally this would make me sad. But this year I am quite happy. Ever since I broke up with Michael, I have been a whirlwind of relationships. Ones that never last long because they ended just as fast as they started. The good thing is I did not get pregnant. 

So my 2013 wasn't that great... But I survived and I'm happy.

Delusions

As I lay in bed, I hear pounding on the door. *BANG  BANG BANG* My eyes widen and I pull the covers to my ear. Silence. I sit up in bed. *knock knock knock* I place my feet on the floor but I don't leave the bed. Silence. I look at the clock. 11:30 PM. I listen for the door but hear nothing. "Jasmine" his voice whispered. Could it be? Could he be back for me? An urge of nervousness rushed over me.  I stood up and walked over towards the room door and peered out into the living room. Everything was silent. She walked towards the front door. She stood in front of the front door contemplating... Should she just open the door or should she look through the peep hole? She decided to look first and saw no one. She decided to open the door. No one. Her head dropped and tears shed from her eyes.  The banging and knocking, him calling her name.. Were all just delusions... Delusions of the brain. 

Short story Chapter One.

Tears rolled down her face as she listened on the line. "Jones residence." Said the woman on the phone. She had went through Demetrius's phone and saw the number "Home" which she thought was suspicious since he said he lived alone and had never given her the number. When she thought about it she had never been to his home within the last year that they had been dating. 

"Hello?! Jones residence." She could hear children in the background. Did Demetrius live a double life?

  

"Hello ma'am. I am calling on behalf of Child's Gym. We are having a special. Two children for the price of one and wanted to know if you would be interested." Jade said.

"Oh that sounds like a lovely idea! But I'll have to talk it over with my husband." Mrs. Jones responded. 

"That sounds good ma'am. Why don't I take down your information and we can send you some information about our facility in the mail. That way you can show your husband."

"Oh that's perfect! What information do you need?"

"I just need your name, telephone number and address ma'am." 

"Oh okay. Well my name is Delilah Jones..." 

"And your husbands name ma'am?"

"...Oh his name is James Demetrius Jones."  Jade's heart dropped.  12 months dating Demetrius and she didn't even know his name was James.  

"Hello are you still there?" Delilah asked.

"Yes ma'am I'm here. What is your telephone number?" 

"My cell number is 555-6875." 

"And your address?"

"611 Pacfic Avenue."

"Thank you ma'am I will send an information packet to you as soon as we disconnect. It was a pleasure speaking with you Mrs. Jones. Have a good day now."

"Wait I didn't catch your name."

"My name? My name is Jessica."

Well nice speaking with you Jessica. Goodbye."

Jade sat there staring at the information she had written down. Demetrius was really James. James Demetrius Jones. The man she had dated for a year she didn't even know. She dialed Demetruis's telephone number. 

Ring ring.

"What's up baby! I was just thinking about you. Where are you? Let's meet at Starbucks on Lincoln." 

Jade let out a deep sigh."alright I'll be there in ten."

Jade hung up the phone and made a u-turn in her 350i.  She sped down Lincoln Boulvard and parked right next to Demetrius's car.  She walked in and spotted him. He walked up to her and handed her a coffee. 

"Hey babe. How's your day going?" 

"It's going great! How's Delilah and the kids?" 

Demetrius's face froze like he had just seen a ghost. 

"Baby let's go back to your place and discuss this."

"I am fine where I am. YOU ARE MARRIED DEMETRIUS?? Is your name Demetrius or is that your middle name? Is your name Demetrius or James? Do you even love me like you say you do? I don't even know who you are." 

Jade stood up and slapped Demetrius. Then she walked out of Starbucks, went into her trunk and busted out all of his windows. She got into her 350i and sobbed like a baby. A whole year she had wasted on Demetrius. They had made plans to travel the world together and get married in Paris, France. They had made plans on having kids. Two. One boy and one girl. The boy would be Demetrius. The girl would be Jaden.  All of these plans they had made together and they were all a lie. 

*knock knock knock* 

Jade lifted her head from her steering wheel. 

"Ma'am I am Officer Parker. We had received a call that you were spotted vandalizing a car in the parking lot. Will you please step out the car?" 

Jade screamed, "FUCK!" as she stepped out the car. 

"Ma'am you are under arrest. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say or do..." 

Jade could hear the police officer speaking but she could not hear his words. This day went from bad to horrible in just a matter of minutes.

Why Social Network Stalkers ((SNS)) Suck.

Social network stalking is defined as constantly checking someone's twitter, Instagram and/or Facebook that you are not friends with and/or follow.   Everyone has fell victim of stalking someone ((including me)) but I'm here to tell you how WRONG social network stalking ((SNS)) really is... 

Before I go into the reasoning of why social networking is wrong I'm gonna give you the infamous types of stalkers. 

One: The baby mom/dad 

This is the typical stalker IF AND ONLY IF she/he hasn't moved on. Typically BMs are more known to be stalkers than BDs but both are just ridiculous. BMs will stalk their BD and then tell him he can't see his kids this weekend because of something he tweeted.  In the same breath, BMs will tweet that their BD ain't shit because he never wants to see the kids even tho clearly he can't bc he BM is playing cat and mouse with him NOT because he doesn't want to. BM/BDs are the worse stalkers bc they make the kids pay for their insecurities. 

Two. The side chick 

The side chick is as bad if not worse than the BM. The side chick is envious and will SNS anyone who she thinks is in the way between you and her.. That means she will stalk you, your BM and your new chick. The side chick who isn't content with being a side chick will cause havoc for anyone involved bc everyone she stalks she thinks tweets/posts are directed towards her. 

Three. The ex girl

The ex girlfriend is annoying but normally she doesn't stick around for long ((unless you let her)).  The typical ex is going to stalk your shit following break to see if you're fucking with someone else just so she can have someone else to blame  for y'all breakup. In the beginning of a breakup an ex girlfriends SNS is real! It's like a way of life.. She wanna know what you're doing since you're not with her. The best way to deal with an ex is to BLOCK HER!! At least until things calm down bc an ex still in her feelings is bound to think EVERY tweet and/or post is about her or y'all relationship or you dissin her. 

Four. The rat pack 

The rat pack is the least of your worries. The rat pack is when a group of girls get together and stalk peoples social networks for fun or to gossip. The only bad thing about a rat pack is you have more than one person stalking you is EVERYTHING is seen. 

Now that I have introduced your typical SNS.. Let me explain to you why SNS is lame! 

1. It throws you off your game. So let me throw in a scenario.  So let's say female A starts dating a guy and then the SNS: the ex finds out about her and starts talking mad ish online. The minute female A starts looking through the ex girls twitter/IG/Facebook she has already started to lose.. Now, female A has also become a SNS. The reason why SNS throws you off your game is because while female A is busy SNS the ex and the ex is busy SNS the new chick.. Who is giving the dude attention?? Both chicks SNS each other and female B has slid into the picture undetected and now female B is winning while female A and the ex continue to lose. 

2. It psychs you out.  SNS someone who is not worried about you will have you psyched out.  So female A tweets lyrics from a song saying "fuck bitches" and female B gets to trippen thinking that tweet was about them and gets mad when in reality the shit was a lyric.  This is the main reason why SNS is dumb because mfers will really think every tweet is about them when it's not. 

3. You have better things to do. The last reason being a SNS sucks is because there are better things in life then to SNS someone. Whenever you get the urge to stalk someone you should find other things to do... For example I SNS when I'm on twitter and bored so.. When I'm bored I play games on my iPad so that boredom will not turn me into a SNS. 

We'll I hope you enjoyed. Comment your opinions below. 

G-Spot

She woke up in the morning horny and wanting sex.  Her husband was away on a business trip so she decided to take out her toys.  She turned porno on the television and lubed up her dildo.  Satisfying herself always made her miss her husband but tonight the mood she was in she had to do something.  She slid the dildo into her vagina and started rubbing against her clitoris.  She could feel her body temperature rising. She move the dildo around in her vagina finding her G-spot. Once she found it she placed the dildo against her G-spot moving it gently so that she could feel vibrations inside of her.  She placed her clitoris in- between her ring and index finger gently flicking it back-and-forth between her fingers.  She could feel the orgasm coming.  She concentrated on the moans coming from the television and began to thrust her hips.  She began to thrust her hips and flick her clitoris faster and she grinned on her dildo hard.  She was going to climax.  Suddenly, her body felt warm all over and her legs began to become numb. Shelat out al oud and moan trying to control her hands.  She Mongtowe and gas for air.  She threw her dildo on the floor as she continued to rub her clitoris. The orgasm she was having had her going crazy.  She moaned and she rubbed as her vagina throbbed.  She gasped.  She had given herself the best orgasm ever.  Laughing at herself she got up and cleaned up the mess she made.  She thought to herself, what a wonderful day way to start my day. 

What is love?

What is love?

Love is the feeling I get when I see you

Love is cuddles on the couch

Love is massaging your back

Love is date nights

Love is praying for you

Love is looking into your eyes

Love is' I miss you' text messages

Love is being in your arms as I sleep

Love is wanting the best for you

Love is the feeling I get when I think of you

Love is how I feel about you

Love is that I never want this to end

Love is me

Love is you

Love is me and you

Why Females Don't Get Along

There are two main reasons why females don't get along:

1. BOYS/MEN

2. LOOKS



BOYS/MEN

The main reason females do not get along is because of the opposite sex.  The biggest reason why we have this problem is because when DATING, we sometimes forget that we are just DATING!! When a female meet a guy and you start dating sometimes females forget that they aren't the only one HE is dating so when they hear/find out about another female that female INSTANTLY becomes their competition.  This is where the female starts losing.  When she's thinking it's just her, she's doing her best to impress the nigga but when she KNOWS there is someone else.. EVERYTHING you do you try to compare.. In her mind Bitch A is thinking, "he really wasn't hungry today, is it because he already ate at Bitch B house" psyching herself out worrying more about what her nigga and Bitch B is doing rather than worrying about herself.  Now this female is instantly her arch enemy all because they both misunderstood the definition of DATING..

LOOKS

Another reason why females don't get along is because they're always comparing looks.  When you're worried about someone else's looks, you are INSTANTLY LOSING.  You're too worried about the next bitch not looking better than you you have no type of self-esteem.  If YOU think you look good, YOU look good no matter how the next bitch is dressed.  Only bitter low-self esteem bitches hate other females over looks anyway.

So..

Basically.. females hating each other is just some basic ass shit!

Survivor.

So I survived another month of August. My anxiety wasn't as bad this time and the nightmares really didn't come. Maybe like once or twice. Really, I'm just thankful to be here healthy and not having any major malfunctions. Well now that I've survived I believe I can finally put this nightmare in the past where it belongs. 

Trauma

I tell myself this is all my imagination playing tricks on me.  That I am okay sleeping alone.  But I toss and turn and the minute my eyes close the nightmares begin... 

It all started as a normal day, going to work like usual. I had my niece Ja'Naya with me but she didn't have a car seat so Michael, Shaunte, her daughter, my niece and I stopped by the daycare to see if there was a car seat for her... That's all I remember.. Michael, Shaunte and her daughter all going inside the daycare and Ja'Naya and I staying inside the car... 

Next thing you know.. I'm waking up in UCD wondering what the hell is going on.. I guess this is why I have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder... Because I have these dreams where something traumatizing is happening to me and I can't remember it at all.. Just like in real life.. 

No one understands why 5 years later I'd still have traumatizing nights over this but I literally lived a nightmare. I look beautiful now but there was a time where half of my face was paralyzed like a stroke victim.. August has always been the hardest month for me.. I pray every August I make it without breaking. 

Anxiety

When my anxiety overcomes i'm in a heap of fear
my chest tightens
my hands start shaking
its harder to breathe..

I keep telling myself..
breathe.
breathe.
breathe.

all I can do is keep breathing.

5 year anniversary

So next month on August 21 will be the 5th year anniversary of me surviving that horrible nightmare of a car accident that ultimately changed my life forever.  Every year it is so hard for me mentally this time of year because I start getting HORRIBLE HORRIBLE post traumatic stress (PTSD).  So far mentally I have been good.  I've been sitting here reflecting about how much many accomplishments I have made so far.  Well next month look forward to another blog about this.. I'll share some of my struggles and accomplishments dealing with such a life changing event.

30 Days of Truth: Day 11

Day 11: Something people seem to compliment you the most on.

I usually get the most comments on either my looks or my intelligence.. I am told more than not that I'm beautiful, gorgeous etc... That's okay I guess.. But I'd much rather hear compliments on my intelligence.  That makes my day whether it's coming from someone who wants to date me or a friend or a stranger.  I love hearing it because it's confirmation that my hard work is paying off.

30 Days of Truth: Day 10

Day 10: Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know. 

There is no one in my life I need to let go now but it took me a long long time to get over someone before... I didn't want to let go but I did and it was basically the best decision I have made. 

30 Days of Truth: Day 9

Day 9: Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.

My sister.  We used to be best friends.  Her being my older sister I always looked up to her.  I always wanted to wear Steve Madden heels and doll myself up just like her... As we got older, life came in between and I haven't seen my sister or spent time with her in over a year.  Sad but God works in mysterious ways.  That's what I tell myself every time I miss her. 

Mini Interview

So I was given a mini interview by one of my friends.. they will be the I (for interviewer) and J will be for me:

I: what is your weakness
J: my weakness would have to be love.

I: have you ever been in love if so how many times?
J: Actually, I've only been in love once.. Have I ever lied and said I loved someone when I didn't.. yes

I: what's your favorite movie?
J: I don't have a favorite movie, but I love Disney Movies

I: what makes you angry?
J: Being lied to, when people do not keep their word and when you tell someone in confidence that it is safe with them and when they get mad they throw it in your face.

I: who's your favorite music artist?
J: I don't really have a favorite.. I just love good music.

I: what's your idea first date?
J: I think an idea first date would have to be something very simple but lots of fun.  I like spontaneity

I: how many fist fights you been in?
J: to be honest, too many to count.

I: If you won the lottery today (1 mil) what would you do with the money?
J: First, I would pay off my student loans. Second, I would buy a new house and car.  Third, with the rest of the money I would invest so that I can open up my own business when I'm done with school.  But student loans would have to go first.

I: Hide and go seek or hide and go get it.
J: Hide and go seek

I: If you were walking and you trip on accident how would you play it off?
J: I would say, "oops" smile and say "excuse my clumsiness" then I'd give the cutest smile and everyone would adore me.

I: what's your favorite ice cream?
J: oh you don't know? it's mint chocolate chip!

I: Somewhere in the world you wanna go that you haven't been
J: Japan

I: Eat a bowl of maggots or go to school naked.
J: I guess I'd be going to school naked.

I: Fav sex position?
J: depends...

I: Your spot.
J: where my tramp stamp is.

I: Kids I want?
J: I just believe in having sibling relationships (hence my thesis).  One would be enough for me.. but I couldn't have one kid and them miss out on the benefits of having a sibling. So two will be enough.

Interview end.

Inside

If I could open up my heart it would say. 

Be kind, be gentle and protect me. 

30 Days of Truth: Day 8

I know it's been a while since I blogged on this prompt but here is day 8... days later:

Day 8: Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.

I don't share this much but I think my dad's side of the family always thought less of me because I'm half black and I don't look very Filipino (more like a light skinned black girl).  Well as a kid it hurt because what kid doesn't want to be accepted by their own family?? As an adult, it still kind of sucks that people can be so ignorant but at the end of the day I have my parents so who cares what they have to say or think about me.

The Journey

One day you finally knew

what you had to do, and began,

though the voices around you

kept shouting

their bad advice--

though the whole house

began to tremble

and you felt the old tug

at your ankles.

"Mend my life!"

each voice cried.

But you didn't stop.

You knew what you had to do,

though the wind pried

with its stiff fingers

at the very foundations,

though their melancholy

was terrible.

It was already late

enough, and a wild night,

and the road full of fallen

branches and stones.

But little by little,

as you left their voices behind,

the stars began to burn

through the sheets of clouds,

and there was a new voice

which you slowly

recognized as your own,

that kept you company

as you strode deeper and deeper

into the world,

determined to do

the only thing you could do--

determined to save

the only life you could save.

-Mary Oliver

Heartless

I lost my heart somewhere with the love I had for you. 
 Now I'm heartless and cold with no warmth to share.  
I lost my heart somewhere in the process of trying to please you. 
Somewhere in the process I forgot how to please myself. 
 I lost my heart the moment I met you. 
Someone told me I would never forget you. 
I lost my heart inside of you..
 I lost my heart in the thought of you. 
I lost my heart inside of you and now there is no heart inside of me. 

Faith..

When I pray I never ask for new things or things to go the way I want them to go.. I just always ask God to steer me in the right direction.. When I started asking for that I started losing people in my life who really didn't want the same things in life as I did.  Sometimes it's hard, I don't understand what Gods plan are for me but I continue to pray and I have faith that God will never put me in a situation I cannot handle. Sometimes when I become angry I have to remember this. 

Truth.

Okay it's what about to be 2am on June 2nd and I thought I'd just randomly rant

God I miss Nathan. It's so sad because I'm just confused. I don't know why I miss him and I don't know how I'm supposed to feel... Somedays I wake up and I'm fine.. I can go on about my day without a care in the world... Other days I wake up angry, bitter, with so many "I could've done this differently" type of attitude... Some days I just simply want to text to see how he's doing and I text him messages all day that never get sent... I just know I need to and have to move on..  I think it's hard because I have so many thoughts going on at one time.. So many you should do better... So many you should try harder! But how?! Geeeeez!! 

Relationships are so confusing! It's like you think you know what's right and then someone comes and hands you a chair and says "take a seat you amateur".  With every relationship I get wiser. I know I can't settle for less. I WILL NOT settle for less. I know what I want and I am determined to have it. 

I just want to let go.. I want to stop holding onto the back of Nathan's shirt and dragging in the dirt. I want to move on... Not wake up bitter, sad, frustrated... I want to think of him and think of all of the blessings he has brought... First step is admitting it I guess... Right? 

Fitness update!

So I've been having a hard time finding time to fit the gym into my very busy schedule so I've been taking some classes like Zumba and hot hula and I've lost 4 inches off of my waist!! I'm excited! I can't wait to see what I will look like when I go to Vegas in June!

30 Days of Truth: Day 7

Day 7: Someone who has made your life worth living for.

Someone who has made my life worth living for first and foremost is God.  Now I'm not much into religion but i know that the way I survived a near death situation and did almost a complete 180 in recovery, I knew that It had to be because God was watching over me.  Since then I have realized there is so much more to life.  

Love.

Here is something that I want to know.  What does love mean to you?! I plan on posting everyones opinion on this blog.  So let me know... What does love mean to you?

My definition:

Love to me is one emotion evoked by millions of adjectives.  Love is being honest even if you know it could hurt your partner's feelings.  Love is patient.  It's not rushed, it takes time.  Love is like a flower because in order for it to bloom it must be taken care of delicately.  If proper care is not given, the flower will soon wilt away.  Love is being understanding.  Everyone is not perfect.  Love is giving your 100% to someone or something.  Love is passion.  Love is amazing.  Love can be heart wrenching.  Love is me.  

Here are some of the definitions:

Facebook:
"4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8 Love never fails. If you experience a negative love then you are not experiencing real love because love is a positive force that brought everything here with out love we would not be alive with out love there would be no cars no scientist no tv because love empowered people to give something there all to devote time to see thru a passion. Love of Jesus made him die and suffer for us, we suffer for people we love, love causes us to cry when someone hurts out feelings. Ima just stop there lol"  - Machelle 

"it means showing kindness, respect, gratitude, being supportive and never letting the one u love down" - Shanel

Instagram:

"love is hard but an amazing feeling with any type of relationship that involves it." - @juicyglam_

"Love is looking beyond faults. It is forgiving and understanding. Love is an action word." - @cus_imalady

"i feel that love is a type@of out of body experience when two souls cam connect to one another on a spiritual level...when two people see their future with the person that they're with" - @nattie_pooh_boo

30 Days of Truth: Day 6

Day 6: Something you hope you never have to do.

One thing I hope  I never have to do is burry one of my siblings or parents way to early.  My dad has diabetes and stuff and I just pray every day that I will never have to burry him early.  I want him to be able to walk me down the aisle one day when I get married and be there for the birth of my kids one day.  So that is basically what I hope  I will never have to do.

Mary Kay Independent Sales Consultant

So last Saturday I officially became a Mary Kay independent sales consultant. I'm excited about this new journey I plan to take. If your interested in a free facial please contact me.

Jpiring@marykay.com

Fitness Goals: Week 3

Last week I wanted to go to the gym 4 times a week and I accomplished this so this week I want to go for 5.

Starting April 1 Nathan and I are starting a 30 day challenge. My goal will be to lose 5 pounds, his will be to gain. Keep posted on that.

30 Days of Truth: Day 5

Day 5: Something you hope to do in your life.

There are two things I want to do in life... I want to teach & I want to travel. I already teach preschool but I hope to be able to teach elementary and possibly college one day. I have traveled to the Philippines to see where my dad grew up but I want to see the whole world.

30 Days of Truth: Day 4

Day 4: Something you have to forgive someone for.

I do not really need to forgive anyone for anything because I try not to hold grudges. The past is the past. I may be upset for a few days but I will forgive anyone without an apology for my own sanity. It's just how to be a better person.

Fitness Goal: Week 2

Last week I made the goal to do a mile on the treadmill.  Well last week I accomplished that goal!! Yay me!

This week my goal will be to go to the gym 4 times for at least 45 minutes.. Last week I went for 45 minutes but only 2 days :(

30 Days of Truth: Day 3

Day 3: Something you have to forgive yourself for.

I need to forgive myself when I make mistakes.  Sometimes I am harder on myself than others are but sometimes I have to remember that I need to forgive myself for things I have done wrong and learn from those mistakes.  One thing recently I need to forgive myself for is being mean to Nathan he has forgave me but I haven't I am working on forgiving myself.

30 Days of Truth: Day 2

Day 2: Something you love about yourself

I love my ambition. It's sad why I am so ambitious but being ambitious has lead me to great things. Growing up, my Filipino side of my fam always tried to make my siblings and me feel inferior due to the fact that we're half black. They never expected me to be much and because of this I always aim to exceed anyone's expectations of me. Well that's what I love the most about me. :)

New workout goals

So I haven't worked out consistently in a month and I realize that I am becoming my own demon. I'm a great planner but exercise is not one I'm good at. I plan way too big for what I'm ready for so here are my NEW workout goals:

1. GO TO THE GYM. This one is the hardest. My goal is to go. Even if its for 10 minutes and all I do is cardio. 10 minutes in the gym is better than the 10 mins I'm gonna spend bumming around anyway.

2. Create 2 week mini goals. This is important because I think it will take my focus off of my bigger goal which is to obtain 16% body fat. My goal for this 2 weeks is to run a mile on the treadmill. This is a moderate task because 1. I'm averaging .75 miles and two I hate running lol. I do intervals though so I have time to decrease my heart rate.

3. Goodbye diets. Now I know what your thinking. How can you lose weight if you're not dieting? Well I have an even better plan. I'm not a terrible eater already so I plan to eat whatever I want. But just in moderation && I will eat fresh veggies at every meal.

4. If I get unmotivated... Use Pinterest! There are plenty of motivational pictures on there so that will be my last resort

So lets see how this goes...

30 Days of Truth: Day 1

Day 1: Something you hate about yourself

Something I hate about myself.. hmm.. There is nothing i "hate" about myself but there are many things I wish I could improve.  I think the biggest one would have to be my actions when I am scared.  When I'm unsure of something or I do not know if it is the best decision I tend to have the fight or flight reaction.  Sometimes I ignore it ((ex: I want to apply for a school but it looks complicated and I don't know if I will get in so I won't apply)) or I overreact ((I breakup with someone because I'm scared of the outcome)).  I absolutely hate this about me only because it makes me doubt myself.  I over think things.  It's hard to improve because when I try I get really anxious.  For example, I may have wanted to tell my boyfriend "I love you" but I got anxious very anxious.  My hands got sweaty, my voice rattled, I just felt like I was going to die of embarrassment.  So what I have been trying to do to make progress is to take things one day at a time in baby steps.  So before I told my boyfriend "I love you", I made a pros and cons list, I practiced it many times, and I even chickened out a few times... But I know that I needed to tell him.  I went from a text, to a whisper in the ear, to publicly typing it, and my next goal is to look him in the eye and tell him.. eek! scary.  But anyways... back to why I hate this trait.. I overall feel like it is keeping me from being the best person I can be.

30 Days of Truth

So I've been looking for new things to write about so I found this list of things to write about I haven't really looked at the things on it (which will make it more interesting) but I will be posting everyday for 30 days (hopefully)


30 Days Of Truth

Day 1: Something you hate about yourself.
Day 2: Something you love about yourself.
Day 3: Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 4: Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 5: Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 6: Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 7: Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 8: Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
Day 9: Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10: Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11: Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12: Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13: A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days.
Day 14: A hero that has let you down.
Day 15: Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16: Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17: A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18: Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19: What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20: Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21: (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22: Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23: Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24: Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs.
Day 25: The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26: Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27: What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28: What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29: Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30: A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself

Claim Jumper

My boyfriend and I ate at Claim Jumper restaurant yesterday in Roseville. We found this place because it was highly recommended by one of his co-workers and honestly, I would highly recommend it to anyone.

The price is moderate. I would put it in the same category as BJs. We ordered drinks, and appetizer, and two entrees and it came to $53.

The atmosphere was very calming. The building has a cabin feel to it. The inside decor is like a cabin log and some of the chandeliers had antlers on them. It was pretty dim inside which also added to the calm feeling I got.

The server was very friendly and all of the staff who came to our table were polite. It was pretty busy in there and we got our food in an ample amount of time and we were never left to feel like we were waiting to long for anything. Our waitress also came by frequently to check on us and make sure there wasn't anything we needed.

The food was tasty. For an appetizer we ordered pretzel sticks with cheese and they were so delicious. Omg I love good bread and I honestly thought the bread was quite amazing. Then I ordered fish tacos with clam chowder and Nathan ordered a burger. The clam chowder was delicious && the fish tacos were so tasty. Nathan's burger was so huge and he also said it was delicious.

Well that is my review of Claim Jumper I hope some of you go to try it out. Thanks for reading.

Ash Wednesday - Lent 2013

So I know I am not an involved Catholic but I do go to mass from time to time and I do participate in lent. Lent is a time of penance and prayer where you give up things that you can't live without from Ash Wednesday to Holy Saturday, the Saturday before Easter Sunday. Most people give up things that are challenging to live without (sex, sweets, etc.) while some Catholics don't eat meat on Fridays. The reason we give up tangible items is to make a sacrifice like Jesus did for us.

For me, lent is tough bc I want to sacrifice something I use daily but I don't want to make an impossible decision like the Internet ((I use it for homework)) so this year I decided to sacrifice juice and buns. The reason for juice is bc I need to drink my water which is beneficial and the reason for no buns is bc it forces me to do my hair. So what will you be sacrificing for lent????

Nathan's Company Party

So I have to admit, Nathan's company party was so much fun.  The inside of the hotel is beautiful.  The theme was Casino Royale so everyone was dressed up nice and they had casino tables all around.  there really isn't much to say besides we had fun playing in the Photo Booth and plaything 21. :) I hope that we stay together another year so that we can go together again next year :)

Fitness Goal: Week 3

So I have to admit... I only worked out 1 day this week... ((shame on me)) I know I know.. I can't even make up any excuses this week.  Well at the beginning of the week I was sick... food poisoning.. No way I could possibly workout.  Tuesday I went to the gym and worked on my shoulders.  Shoulders are my weakest.  Then I did not workout for the rest of the week.. poor me! No excuses.. 

One interesting thing this week is that I went and got my body fat percentage and I'm 26.9% body fat! 

Fitness Goal: Week 2

So week 2 was a repetition of week 1 as workout goes so there is not much to explain there.  There were two days where I wasn't able to workout because I had doctors appointments and stuff like that..  Although I wasn't able to workout, I still did a mini workout at home. 

One thing that was significant this week than the last week was my diet.  I have stuck to it and not cheated.  Each week I try to do better than the last, so this week I will try to eat more veggies than last week and more egg whites.  Well  that's about it..

Oh.. I lost 0.5 pounds this week.  

Until next time my bloggers.

Abc's

So I posted this in 2009 and I want to see if there are any differences.

ABCs
A - Age: 25
B - Bed size: Cali King
C - Chore you hate: folding laundry
D - Dogs names: Risky pooh
E - Essential start your day item: iPhone, iPad, or MacBook whichever is closest
F - Favorite color: yellow && purple
G - Gold or Silver: Gold
H - Height: 5'4
I - Instruments you play: none.
J - Job title: Teacher
K - Kid(s): none
L - Living arrangements: in my own place
M - Mom's name: Jamie
N - Nicknames: Jas, Jay Pea
O - Overnight hospital stay other than birth: August 2008
P - Pet Peeve: when people crack their knuckles
Q - Quote from a movie: Hakuna Matata
R - Right or left handed: Lefty!!
S - Siblings: Montell, Stephanie, Marquis, Krystal, Jermaine
T - Time you wake up: 3:30-4:00am
U- Underwear: boy shorts or thongs depending on what I'm wearing
V - Vegetable you dislike: Lima beans
W - Ways/Reasons you run late: bc I bs for too long
X - X-rays you've had: cat scan, mri's
Y - Yummy food you make: Spaghetti
Z - Zoo favorites:Giraffes, zebras

2009's

ABCs
A - Age: 21
B - Bed size: i have a king & 2 queens and unf0rtunately im using n0ne 0f them!! =[
C - Chore you hate:bathr00m
D - Dogs names: B0sc0, Chingy, Russel, Hazel, Mallie
E - Essential start your day item: Cellphone
F - Favorite color: yell0w
G - Gold or Silver: Gold
H - Height: 5'11
I - Instruments you play:none.
J - Job title: Teacher =D
K - Kid(s): n0ne
L - Living arrangements: h0meless =[ naw... i live wid my m0mmy & daddy til september!
M - Mom's name: Jamie
N - Nicknames: Jas, Jazzy, jay, jay jay, jbaby, jassy baby...
O - Overnight hospital stay other than birth: last year the WHOLE summer!! naw... in may kidney infection.. in august.. fractured my skull..
P - Pet Peeve: when pe0ple crack their knuckles
Q - Quote from a movie: fuck that Pay me.
R - Right or left handed: Lefty!!
S - Siblings: M0ntell, Stephanie, Marquis, Krystal, Jermaine
T - Time you wake up: 7
U- Underwear: b0y sh0rts
V - Vegetable you dislike: Lima beans
W - Ways/Reasons you run late: because my damn b0yfreind is a beauty queen.. lol
X - X-rays you've had: cat scan, mri's the whole shabang
Y - Yummy food you make: Tac0s.
Z - Zoo favorites:Giraffes, zebras, m0nkeys!!

Fitness goals: Week 1

So I often fluctuate between 120-150 pounds which is not healthy at all and I know I can have a banging body so I decided to make some fitness plans. My boyfriend told me to go on bodybuilding.com and check out workouts and the site is actually pretty cool. It helped me make fitness goals. So I know women don't like talking about their weight, but I'm 147 pounds which is considered overweight for my height but not by much. But I don't want to just lose the pounds to have average BMI, I want to lose body fat and gain muscle. I also want to look fit. So with that being said, I ended up with this...


That's right I need to lose 22.4 pounds and half of my body fat. Now I know lots of people have fitness goals at the beginning of the year and fail to meet them which sucks but I am determined! My boyfriend has a nice body and I can't be a fatty on the arm of a fit guy. So that's motivation.

Today I finished my first week of Jamie Eason's LiveFit Trainer. It's a 12 week workout plan that has three phases. Each phase has workout, nutrition and supplement advice. The first week consisted of a formula of:

3 sets
12 repetitions
60 seconds of rest inbetween

Each day you work on different parts of the body. The first week had absolutely no cardio and focused more on strength training with weights. I won't go into details of what each day consisted of but I figured out where my strength areas are and my weak areas as well.

One day out of the week I did not follow the plan, instead I worked out with my boyfriend and boy was it intense he showed me some new things I can do ab wise, back wise & bicep tricep wise. Then we did circuits... That was tiring but I finished and I'm proud of myself. So far I haven't lost any weight but I haven't gained either. So I think I'm doing well.

Well that's how my first week of my fitness plan was. I hope you continue to follow me on my journey.

What's in your makeup bag??

So I saw this post on instagram ((credit below)) about what's in your makeup bag and decided that my blog for the month of January would be about what I carry in my makeup bag. First ill start with what I have in my actual makeup bag and then I'll post other things that I must have.

Okay so first I will start with what's in my makeup bag.
1. is a mirror.  We all know we need a mirror when we wear makeup just to make sure it's looking right lol.
2.  Maybelline New York: 50 sunlit bronze.  Although this is not the normal eye shadow I wear, it's a good natural color eye shadow just in case my makeup needs a little touch up.  Normally I wear natural colors so it's very easy for me to blend them.  The brands I use are Too Faced and Urban Decay.
3. Maybelline New York: Colossal Volum' Express.  Again, my regular mascara is made by Too Faced but I use this one for touch up.  It is not my favorite mascara from Maybelline but it does the job.
4. Maybelline New York: Expert Wear.  I use this eye liner when I'm lazy and want a quick natural look.
5. IMAN: Posh.  I cannot say how much I love this blush.  I originally found it at Ulta when I was trying on blushes but then Ulta discontinued it ((oh no)) so I got another brand from Ulta ((which I did not like)) and then.. I found out that Target began selling the brand and for much cheaper!! ((winning)) So I had to buy it.
6. Tarte: black.  So Tarte is my third favorite brand.  I use Tarte gel eye liner for my eyes.  It works really well and doesn't smudge much.
7.Systane ultra:  I was in a car accident 4 years ago and my face was paralyzed on the left side.  Because of this, my eye would not close.  Therefore my left eye doesnt lubricate as much as my right and I have to use this expensive eye drops ($18).  They work great but I wouldn't recommend it for anyone who doesn't have an eye problem
8. Nivea: Creme.  I love this stuff.  It's great for lotion in the bag and doesn't take up lots of room.  Only $1.
9. Nivea: A kiss of milk & honey.  chapstick.  Love.
10 - 17 are all lipsticks so I will tell you what brand they are and that's all.
10. M.A.C.: Ruby Woo B62.
11. Loreal Paris: Caramel Comfort 819. 
12. Clinique: gloss longtemps
13. Forever 21: Love and beauty. 
14. Loreal Paris: Cotton Pink 170
15. Loreal Paris: Pink Plush 169
16. Loreal Paris: Plum Explosion 766
17. Loreal Paris: Ruby Flame 317
18. Too Faced: Lip Insurance. Now to keep 10 - 17 on I apply lip primer from Too Faced which I love.

Okay so here are a list of my brushes.  The pink and purple ones are all Real Techniques by Samantha Chapman.  I love them all.

1. Blush brush
2. Deluxe cease brush
3. Accent brush
4. Base shadow brush
5. Tarte eye liner brush
6. pixel-point eye liner brush
7. Brow brush
8. Elf lip defining brush
9. Elf eye shadow brush

Last but not least is my Christmas gift from Nathan that I love so much.  Normally I don't wear perfumes because of my skin but I absolutely love the smell of this and would recommend it to anyone.

well that is what's in my makeup bag.  Comment with any questions or comments or write your own blog about what's in your makeup bag and I will read it.. Thanks for reading :)

P.S. I got this question from someone I follow on IG so please follow her:

@Juicyglam_
@browngirlsglamtalk

2013 blog!

So I'm going to be doing some changes to my blog. One I love writing and I never have enough time to so there will be three things I plan on doing that will be forcing me to write. First thing I will do is write one blog a month on something specific. For example, this month I will be talking about what's in my makeup bag. The second thing I will blog about is Our ((Nathan && I)) date nights. I saw this blog about 52 date nights which is one date night a week and we are going to do some of their ideas and create our own which I will be blogging about. Either what we like about them or not. Third, I'm going to blog about my masters thesis process. So basically these are the changes I will be making I hope you're looking forward to it.