Tuesday, March 12, 2013

30 Days of Truth: Day 1

Day 1: Something you hate about yourself

Something I hate about myself.. hmm.. There is nothing i "hate" about myself but there are many things I wish I could improve.  I think the biggest one would have to be my actions when I am scared.  When I'm unsure of something or I do not know if it is the best decision I tend to have the fight or flight reaction.  Sometimes I ignore it ((ex: I want to apply for a school but it looks complicated and I don't know if I will get in so I won't apply)) or I overreact ((I breakup with someone because I'm scared of the outcome)).  I absolutely hate this about me only because it makes me doubt myself.  I over think things.  It's hard to improve because when I try I get really anxious.  For example, I may have wanted to tell my boyfriend "I love you" but I got anxious very anxious.  My hands got sweaty, my voice rattled, I just felt like I was going to die of embarrassment.  So what I have been trying to do to make progress is to take things one day at a time in baby steps.  So before I told my boyfriend "I love you", I made a pros and cons list, I practiced it many times, and I even chickened out a few times... But I know that I needed to tell him.  I went from a text, to a whisper in the ear, to publicly typing it, and my next goal is to look him in the eye and tell him.. eek! scary.  But anyways... back to why I hate this trait.. I overall feel like it is keeping me from being the best person I can be.

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