HE MAKES ME WEAK.

it makes me sick really... this "friendship" is nothing like a friendship.. its more of a relationship that i refuse to have. at first i did want to eventually grow into a relationship but now i REFUSE. HONESTY. is the most important thing in a relationship and although he didn't lie to me he didn't say anything. Thats worse than a lie. I told myself I didn't want to see him again and that it would be better if I left him alone.. but the night crept up on me and i was alone.. and anyone who knows me knows.. I HATE SLEEPING ALONE.. i honestly think i have some type of phobia.. before Krystal was here and we shared a room.. then i had Michael.. and then after Michael.. Tina stayed at my house damn near the whole summer.. So when i thought about sleeping by myself.. i gave in and asked him to stay the night with me. just having him there with me made me sleep well.. so then i realized.. i think im falling in LIKE with this guy.. lol.. ugh and its so irritating because as much as i dont want to like him i do.. i mean come on now.. he does do a lot for me.. but i just came to the conclusion that were are only "friends" or were just "talking" we are not TOGETHER.. so i guess having him around for the entertainment is alright.. because when i sat down and thought.. i really couldn't be mad at him because 1. he's not my man & 2. i'm not doing anything wrong. lol.. so yeah.. he's still around i guess but i will NEVER push the subject of a relationship because naaahhh.. i just dont want one with him.. lol