So I was told to make a Likes and Dislikes list of things I like in men so that I can have successful future relationship(s) so here are my list of things I look for in a man and what I find red flags..
What I look For (in no particular order):
1. Humor
2. Trust && Honesty
3. Loyalty
4. Ambitious
5. Sexually pleasing
6. Educated
Red Flags:
1. Disrespectful for women
2. Does drugs
3. Uneducated
4. Disrespectful family members
5. No motivation/ambition
6. Lies
Saturday, October 6, 2012
Thursday, October 4, 2012
Dating Rules
Being back on the dating field and new to this mess.. I have found changes in myself.. good changes.. Dating is like a game in which if played well.. may lead to a relationship.. you have different kind of daters.. casual daters.. serious daters looking for relationships.. and people who i wouldn't even call daters more looking for casual sex.. So since I don't know much about dating I've decided I'd take a kick at listing my rules for dating!!
Jay Peas Rules For Dating
Rule number 1 of dating!!
ABSOLUTELY NO LYING!!
When you are dating someone, there is a possibility that it could lead into something more than just a casual date or two.. with that in mind.. you cannot lead yourself into a relationship with lies you have to live up to.. One!! you are single.. so if someone doesn't like you for being honest then they weren't the one for you. Two!! when you go into a relationship with someone with lies already laid out for you it's hard for you to hold up to those lies.. point blank period.. you should always practice being an honest person when dating as well as when in a relationship..
Rule number 2
BE YOURSELF!!
My biggest problem I have with dating guys is the fact that many of them want to splurge on me to impress me. One!! An loyal female with a good head on her head is not going to care how much you can spend on her because she will have her own money. Guys always want to take me out to some fancy restaurant to impress me when all of that is not needed. One thing about fancy restaurants is that it's like a trap. One from a females perspective, if you order something too expensive then will the guy think that you're a gold digger?? Is this how this guy is ALL of the time?? Or is he just trying to "splurge" to impress you?? It's too many what ifs to live up to.. Also, in my eyes once I get comfortable being treated a certain way, I am going to EXPECT you to live up to that.. Maybe you took me to a fancy restaurant because you just got income tax or a bonus from work or even financial aid.. but because you took me to a few restaurants I'm going to always EXPECT that and if you can't live up to it then what does that say about the person you are?? So fellas.. just be yourself.. I'm okay with cheap dates.. we are all young and building out empires so I don't expect diamonds when you can only afford Cubic Zirconia either way if its from the heart I'll love it.
Rule number 3
DONT INTRODUCE ME TO YOUR FAMILY UNLESS WE BOTH AGREE WE ARE READY TO MOVE TO THE NEXT STAGE
One time I dated a guy who introduced me to his family and friends after our second date.. I was upset for two reasons.. One, because he didn't give me warning that I was meeting his family and two because I wasn't ready to move to a more serious level with him and I felt like I was being put on the spot... I feel like meeting someone's family is a BIG step that should not happen if we are "just dating". Now when we are still dating and getting ready to move more toward a relationship, I'm fine with meeting your family if the meeting is a mutual (( we both agree we ready for all of that)) I just want to get to know you well enough before I have to get to know other people that are important to you.
Rule 4
I WILL NOT GO ON A DATE YOU TO YOUR HOUSE
If we are dating.. then we need to go out on dates! I'm not expensive whatsoever so if you don't have that type of money to be spending or don't want to spend it there are two possible options... One, you don't need to be dating me.. or two, you should be creative. We all use google and google has plenty of cheap date ideas.. We could go for a walk, feed the ducks, eat ice cream ((Mc Donald's cones are $1 if you can't afford that or don't want to spend that then you are irrelevant)), go to the park.. anything.. I'm pretty sure if you search cheap dates under __$ plenty of ideas will show. Be creative.. but if I'm trying to get to know you I don't feel the need for our first date to be at your house or mine.. Nope.. Eventually we can get to that.. movie nights.. game nights.. whatever but a dude not willing to go out and just wants to hang at the house is a red flag to me.
Rule 5
LETS HAVE FUN... WITHOUT THE SEX
When I begin dating someone, if the biggest topic out of their mouth is sex.. I'll pass. Not that sex has to be completely excluded from dating.. I just feel that shouldn't be the only thing we do that is "fun"... It shouldn't be the only way that you want to get to know me.. You should want to know my mind and spirit before you want to know my body.
Well I hope you like my rules.. What are your rules.. Do you agree or disagree with mines.. Read. Relate/Disagree. Comment. Thanks.
LETS HAVE FUN... WITHOUT THE SEX
When I begin dating someone, if the biggest topic out of their mouth is sex.. I'll pass. Not that sex has to be completely excluded from dating.. I just feel that shouldn't be the only thing we do that is "fun"... It shouldn't be the only way that you want to get to know me.. You should want to know my mind and spirit before you want to know my body.
Well I hope you like my rules.. What are your rules.. Do you agree or disagree with mines.. Read. Relate/Disagree. Comment. Thanks.
Sunday, September 16, 2012
Mountains
Tired, drained, but I see the top
I keep on climbing I will not stop
But then you come and drag me down
Pulling me through the dirt
I pray I don't get hurt
But when we reach the bottom of the mountain you disappear
Gone from this place like thin air
So I dust my shoes off and start my climb again
I'm determined to get to the top, Determined to win
You push me, you shove me
I fall a million times
But I'm determined to not let you trick me this time
I'll take another route
Start on another mountain
Climb at a different time
Keeping the thought of you on my mind
And the consequences of your appearance from time to time
I'll win, I'll get to the top
Because succeeding over the mountain is just one task that will I never stop
I keep on climbing I will not stop
But then you come and drag me down
Pulling me through the dirt
I pray I don't get hurt
But when we reach the bottom of the mountain you disappear
Gone from this place like thin air
So I dust my shoes off and start my climb again
I'm determined to get to the top, Determined to win
You push me, you shove me
I fall a million times
But I'm determined to not let you trick me this time
I'll take another route
Start on another mountain
Climb at a different time
Keeping the thought of you on my mind
And the consequences of your appearance from time to time
I'll win, I'll get to the top
Because succeeding over the mountain is just one task that will I never stop
Game Night
So I had my first gathering since my break-up and I'm not going to admit.. I was a little worried of the turn out for two reasons. One because when I was with Xavier our gatherings were usually half my friends and half his friends. Two because I didn't do my usual planning like I did for the parties at my house.. I just posted on FB and Twitter the day before and hoped for a good turn out lol... But I must say I have good friends because we had a good turn out and we had lots of fun. I cooked Tacos and cupcakes and we played games. We played Taboo as a huge group which was fun and then the girls played Monopoly. I'm glad that I decided to host a gathering because I needed a break from our ((starting to be routine)) of going out. I just wanted to be around people I know. Well.. Now I'm off to watch my Raiders...
I havent said this in a while..
Love,
Jay Pea
I havent said this in a while..
Love,
Jay Pea
Saturday, September 15, 2012
Dating
So... I've came to the conclusion that I have no clue how to date lol. When I was 18 I got with Michael. I stayed with him until I was 23. My next relationship was Xavier... and that went fast and ended fast.. So I've came to the conclusion that I haven't really dated as an adult. My new task is to learn how to date. Lol. Which means i'm probably going to be dating a lot of guys who will get dropped like flies.. that's normally how it goes.. Go on a few dates and when they realize i'm not giving it up that easily its on to the next.. Oh well.. lol So before I move on to the next.. I will try actual dating first..
Wednesday, September 12, 2012
YOU KNOW ME!!!
It seems like now-a-days.. Every one knows me better than I know myself.. lol.. Everyone knows what I'm thinking.. They know who I've been in love with.. shoot.. they probably know that I was going to write this blog.. Its just sad honestly.. Like my life is that amusing to you that you have to make up these fictitious feelings how how you think I think based on what I let you know. Remember.. the internet is just that.. the internet. I.. Me.. Jasmine.. Jay Pea.. controls what I share on my blog, FB, instagram, twitter.. I control what YOU know as a reader.. So if I want you to THINK that it's trouble in paradise.. that's what you will think... Trust me.. You can spend every day with me.. know me very well.. and you would still not know what I was thinking.. Thats why we as humans are unique... Even twins have different ways of thinking.. So.. before you THINK you know me based on the internet.. think again.. actually get to know me.. sit down with me.. let have Starbucks.. but seriously.. stop with the Anonymous comments on my blogs.. Be a woman/man about what you have to say to me and come talk to me. Thanks..
Tuesday, September 11, 2012
THE TRUTH ABOUT A MAN...
Nothing I wrote Just something I Found Online and thought was interesting.
1. If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.
2. Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.
3. Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
4. Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be.
5 . Slower is better.
6. Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.
7. If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve, then, Heck no you can't "be friends." A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend. (tell it like it is!)
8. Don't settle.
9. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.
10. Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.
11. The only person you can control in a relationship is you.
12. Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, Why would he treat you any differently?
13. Always have your own set of friends separate from his.
14. Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speak up.
15. Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.
16. You cannot change a man's behaviors. Change comes from within.
17. Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...even if he has more education or in a better job.
18. Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less.<--Tell da truth!
19. Never let a man define who you are.
20. Never borrow someone else's man;
21. If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.
22. A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.
23 . All men are NOT dogs.
24. You should not be the one doing all the bending ... compromise is a two way street. 25. You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute about baggage...deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship.
26. You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals...look for someone complimentary...not supplementary.
27. Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right.
28. Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always know where you are, and your're always readily available to him, he takes it for granted.
29. Never move into his mother's house.
30. Never co-sign for a man. Im sharing this with other ladies knowing that..... this will make someone smile, another rethink her choices, and another woman prepare. They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them, and an entire life to forget them. "There are many things in life that will catch your eye, but only a few will catch your heart . . . pursue those."
" BEWARE OF HEARTBREAK...ITS SPREADING FAST...AND THERE IS NO CURE" MORE WORDS OF WISDOM THAT I'D LIKE TO PASS ON TO THE LADIES "HE MAY NOT HAVE BROKE UR HEART BUT UR SPIRIT, ALWAYS KEEP UR HEAD UP AND KEEP UR FAITH IN GOD. HE IS THE ONLY MAN THAT WILL NEVER LEAVE WHEN THINGS GET TOUGH BUT WALK BESIDE U UNTIL THE VERY END"
1. If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.
2. Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.
3. Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
4. Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be.
5 . Slower is better.
6. Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.
7. If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve, then, Heck no you can't "be friends." A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend. (tell it like it is!)
8. Don't settle.
9. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.
10. Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.
11. The only person you can control in a relationship is you.
12. Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, Why would he treat you any differently?
13. Always have your own set of friends separate from his.
14. Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speak up.
15. Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.
16. You cannot change a man's behaviors. Change comes from within.
17. Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...even if he has more education or in a better job.
18. Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less.<--Tell da truth!
19. Never let a man define who you are.
20. Never borrow someone else's man;
21. If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.
22. A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.
23 . All men are NOT dogs.
24. You should not be the one doing all the bending ... compromise is a two way street. 25. You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute about baggage...deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship.
26. You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals...look for someone complimentary...not supplementary.
27. Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right.
28. Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always know where you are, and your're always readily available to him, he takes it for granted.
29. Never move into his mother's house.
30. Never co-sign for a man. Im sharing this with other ladies knowing that..... this will make someone smile, another rethink her choices, and another woman prepare. They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them, and an entire life to forget them. "There are many things in life that will catch your eye, but only a few will catch your heart . . . pursue those."
" BEWARE OF HEARTBREAK...ITS SPREADING FAST...AND THERE IS NO CURE" MORE WORDS OF WISDOM THAT I'D LIKE TO PASS ON TO THE LADIES "HE MAY NOT HAVE BROKE UR HEART BUT UR SPIRIT, ALWAYS KEEP UR HEAD UP AND KEEP UR FAITH IN GOD. HE IS THE ONLY MAN THAT WILL NEVER LEAVE WHEN THINGS GET TOUGH BUT WALK BESIDE U UNTIL THE VERY END"
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