Healthy Relationships

I know most of you have been through your share of unhealthy/crazy relationships as I have been through some myself but not every relationship has to be unhealthy. So here is my perception of a healthy relationship in no particular order

1.     Be honest.  This one is self-explanatory.  Be nice and kind to your significant other, but be honest.  There is only one way that trust is gained and its through honesty.  I know sometimes it can be hard because you may not want to hurt your significant other’s feelings or upset them but in the long-run honesty is going to take you far.  It is better to hurt their feelings temporarily to lose their trust when you get caught in a lie. 

2.     Compromise.  Again, pretty self-explanatory.  Everything in the relationship is not going to go the way you want it to go (unless your me lol I’m kidding) so you have to be willing to compromise.  Be open to doing things your significant other likes to do that you may have not ever wanted to do if you were with them. 

3.     Do not try to “fix” your significant other.  This is an issue I have had in the past.  I meet this guy who I see “potential” in and I just think my chipper personality and ambitious drive will have an influence on him to do better but it’s all talk.  What a person is doing with their life when they meet you is a good picture of what it is going to be like.  If they’re always out partying every weekend, that’s not going to change just because they’re in a relationship now.  Either be in the relationship with the person for who they are flaws and all or don’t.

4.     Take advice with a grain or salt.  One killer of relationships is when everyone else has an input in what two people should do in their relationship.  Everyone needs their circle of friends for moral support, but do not let your friends and family ruin YOUR relationship.  If you know someone else’s opinion will have an affect on your thinking don’t let them give you their opinion.  I know it’s harder than it seems but a relationship is between two not two plus five you ya’ll closest friends. 

5.     Don’t go to bed angry.  I believe this is one of the most used phrases when it comes to long-term relationships but it doesn’t mean that it is necessarily true.  We are sometimes going to be so upset over some things in our relationship where we do need to sleep on it in order to have a clear mind to make rational decisions.  The thing that is true about this saying, “don’t go to bed angry” is the communication piece to it.  Some couples can work things out before bed but some cannot.  Forcing yourself to hash things out when you’re sleepy and irrational can just lead to more issues as sometimes we say things we really don’t mean when we are angry.  Instead of trying to fix things when you know you need more time, simply communicate with your significant other that you need space to calm down and set a time the next day that you both agree on to continue this discussion with a clear mind. 

6.     Date nights.  I love date nights.  One reason is because during the “getting to know you” stage dates are frequent.  But when the relationship comes exclusive, sometimes we get wrapped back up into our day-to-day routine and forget about the fun you had in the first place.  Set date nights.  Take one night out of the week to do something fun just both of you. 

7.     Stay consistent. Whatever you started doing in the beginning of the relationship continue to do.  That’s also why it is important to be yourself.  If you brought your girlfriend lunch on a Wednesday at the beginning when you were dating, continue to do that else you’ll have to hear her say “how come you don’t bring me lunch anymore??” Don’t do things if you know you can’t follow through.  Consistency is key. 

8.     Keep things interesting.  This means in the bed.  Missionary. Doggy. Repeat.  How boring! Keep things interesting.  Try new things.  New positions, new ideas, dress up in costume, role-play, etc.  Just have fun, open up, and don’t be afraid to try new things. 

9.     The past is the past.  Leave the past in the past.  If your significant other did something in the past that you can’t live with, leave.  Do not make them pay every time you decide to think of it. 

10. Stay positive.  Sometimes things are going to get hard and you must remember to stay positive in all aspects.  Stay positive in your thinking and security of the relationship and ALWAYS stay positive with your words towards each other.