I know most of you have been through your share of
unhealthy/crazy relationships as I have been through some myself but not every
relationship has to be unhealthy. So here is my perception of a healthy
relationship in no particular order
1.
Be honest. This one is self-explanatory. Be nice and kind to your significant other,
but be honest. There is only one way
that trust is gained and its through honesty.
I know sometimes it can be hard because you may not want to hurt your
significant other’s feelings or upset them but in the long-run honesty is going
to take you far. It is better to hurt
their feelings temporarily to lose their trust when you get caught in a
lie.
2.
Compromise. Again, pretty self-explanatory. Everything in the relationship is not going
to go the way you want it to go (unless your me lol I’m kidding) so you have to
be willing to compromise. Be open to
doing things your significant other likes to do that you may have not ever
wanted to do if you were with them.
3.
Do not
try to “fix” your significant other.
This is an issue I have had in the past.
I meet this guy who I see “potential” in and I just think my chipper
personality and ambitious drive will have an influence on him to do better but
it’s all talk. What a person is doing
with their life when they meet you is a good picture of what it is going to be
like. If they’re always out partying
every weekend, that’s not going to change just because they’re in a
relationship now. Either be in the
relationship with the person for who they are flaws and all or don’t.
4.
Take
advice with a grain or salt. One
killer of relationships is when everyone else has an input in what two people
should do in their relationship.
Everyone needs their circle of friends for moral support, but do not let
your friends and family ruin YOUR relationship.
If you know someone else’s opinion will have an affect on your thinking
don’t let them give you their opinion. I
know it’s harder than it seems but a relationship is between two not two plus
five you ya’ll closest friends.
5.
Don’t go
to bed angry. I believe this is one
of the most used phrases when it comes to long-term relationships but it
doesn’t mean that it is necessarily true.
We are sometimes going to be so upset over some things in our
relationship where we do need to sleep on it in order to have a clear mind to
make rational decisions. The thing that
is true about this saying, “don’t go to bed angry” is the communication piece
to it. Some couples can work things out
before bed but some cannot. Forcing
yourself to hash things out when you’re sleepy and irrational can just lead to
more issues as sometimes we say things we really don’t mean when we are angry. Instead of trying to fix things when you know
you need more time, simply communicate with your significant other that you
need space to calm down and set a time the next day that you both agree on to
continue this discussion with a clear mind.
6.
Date
nights. I love date nights. One reason is because during the “getting to
know you” stage dates are frequent. But
when the relationship comes exclusive, sometimes we get wrapped back up into
our day-to-day routine and forget about the fun you had in the first
place. Set date nights. Take one night out of the week to do
something fun just both of you.
7.
Stay
consistent. Whatever you started doing in the beginning of the relationship
continue to do. That’s also why it is
important to be yourself. If you brought
your girlfriend lunch on a Wednesday at the beginning when you were dating,
continue to do that else you’ll have to hear her say “how come you don’t bring
me lunch anymore??” Don’t do things if you know you can’t follow through. Consistency is key.
8.
Keep
things interesting. This means in
the bed. Missionary. Doggy. Repeat. How boring! Keep things interesting. Try new things. New positions, new ideas, dress up in
costume, role-play, etc. Just have fun,
open up, and don’t be afraid to try new things.
9.
The past
is the past. Leave the past in the
past. If your significant other did
something in the past that you can’t live with, leave. Do not make them pay every time you decide to
think of it.
10. Stay positive. Sometimes things are going to get hard and
you must remember to stay positive in all aspects. Stay positive in your thinking and security
of the relationship and ALWAYS stay positive with your words towards each
other.
