Chaos

So yesterday me and R was Layin down after my workout and I asked him a question I asked him does he think this relationship we have is more like a friendship or a relationship and u know what he said... this fool said "why do girls always bring up dumbass questions at the wrong time" ooooohhhh I was so threw with him. 

The funny thing is I constantly find myself comparing him to Michael... everything I hated about Michael R is but everything I loved about Michael R is not... sometimes I wish I could take Michael's good qualities and Rs good qualities and make one perfect man for me lol

I'm really just rambling.. this blog is more like a free write... whatever comes to my Mind IM gonna write. Like the fact like I am seriously getting tired of R like really. I don't understand how I'm good enough for u to sleep with every night... wake up to every morning... spend all your time with and I still can't have the title.. that's y I gotta stay two steps Ahead of the game. I know I am very beautiful and I can have anyone I want but I always feel like I chose the wrong one. Uggghhh.. sometimes I wish Michael wasn't abusive... because I miss him much.. matter of fact I miss him hella.. but I must stay strong. I put up with way too much bullshit to go back.

My life is pretty much great. Everyday I pray for my niece..  make sure she's okay... my only problem is the nigs I do not wanna get ugly.Lol we all know I can turn into a beast... just don't say I didn't warn u... lol I tried being nice... being sympathetic... and now I really just don't give a flying fucccck

I love working out.. this is when all of my thoughts run wild.. plus once I'm fine with my,body I'm gonNa start up a portfolio... I think I will. I really want some watermelon.. maybe Ill go get some after I workout I'm so glad I'm working out twice.. now and tkb with Marie later.. oh my.., all my good morning texts are coming in.