Puzzled

There is a piece of the puzzle missing.

I cannot find it..

With that piece missing.. 

The puzzle will be incomplete..

I go searching for it.. 

Finding other puzzle pieces but not the one that fits..

I search four hours, days, months..

No piece that fits.. 

I found a piece that looked like it would fit..

And found myself disappointed when I found out that it did not fit..

Then someone told me where I could find the missing piece..

He told me to close my eyes and dream of the missing piece..

I closed my eyes tight and searched for the missing piece in my mind.. 

In my dream I found the missing piece.. 

And I was happy again..

The picture that the puzzle presented was elegant..

I felt complete..

The puzzle was complete.. 

But..

Then I woke up and realized it was only a dream..

That the someone who told me I could find the missing piece only sold me a dream..

So here I am..

On the search.. 

For the missing puzzle piece..

The piece.. 

That  will make my puzzle complete..

Without you

When days turn to nights and your not by my side, a cloudy mist of melancholy surfaces my soul and takes over. Tears start to form a puddle on my pillow chilling my cheek and forcing mucus to run from my nose.  The pain I cannot stand and I squeeze my eyes shut to stop the tears from coming out but they slip through the creases in my eyes and continue to fall.  My hearts cringing, yearning for you.  To have you touch me, to have you kiss me, to have you hold me.  To have you  wipe the tears from my eyes and make everything okay.  But your never coming back, you'll never kiss me again.  You'll never make it okay because you decided to walk away.  As the days pass, the tears stop coming and getting through the nights become easier.  I realize that there is more to life that makes me happy besides your kiss, your touch, your sweet embrace... I smile more and laugh all the time and you have become just chapter in the book of my life..

Relationships are sometimes hard to move on from but trust me.. it gets easier! :-)

Self-confidence

Self-confidence is defined as believing in oneself.  My definition of Self-confidence is when no matter how many people doubt you, you believe in yourself.  Self-confidence is something that I struggled with ((and sometimes still do)) a few years ago because I always thought that whatever I did had to be approved good or bad by my friends and family.  I soon realized that most people I know are negative and never approved of anything I did no matter how good it was.  I developed a "i don't give a fuck" attitude and started believing in myself.  Thus i gained confidence.  Since then I am extremely confident in myself.  I refuse to let anyone make me second guess myself.  If you aren't very confident in yourself, others sense that and will take advantage of you.  So readers... are you confident in yourself??

WHy?

Why do we laugh?

Why do we cry?

Why do we even try?

Why do we love?

Why do we hate?

Why do we wait until its too late?

Why are we confident?

Why are we insecure?

Why do we wait for someone else to find a cure?

Why do others affect us?

Why do others get to us?

Why do we let them show and prove to us?

Why is this uncertainty coming over me?

How can I go from confidence to insecurities taking over me?

Late at night

...while I was sleep, he whispered "I love you too" into my ear.

Simple Things in Life

oh how I enjoy the simple things in life..

like receiving that text message

Or finally getting off of work..

like sitting here in complete silence listening to the

sounds of my fingers stroke the keyboard...

Or Hasani's little snores..

I feel accomplished.

I've completed the impossible.

I've put the screaming,

restless...

baby to bed and now here I sit at this computer,

ready to write.

Simple things..

Like being in my favorite place..

Having those strong arms wrapped around me..

Or painting my fingernails..

One white..

Four blue..

Simple things..

Like joking with my brother..

Or reading a book..

Or writing my own..

Simple things..

Like coloring with the kids at work..

Or going for a long walk..

Or hating the pictures he loves the most..

Simple things..

Like being in love...

Or chocolate chip cookies..

Or pretty bright orange sunflowers...

Simple things..

Simple things make me happy..

No money

No car

No materialistic thing..

Can make me more happy than..

Simple things..

The best feeling ever!!

I open my eyes and I see your brown face open your brown eyes and look at me.  A smile appears on my face and my heart feels warm. The feeling i'm feeling is indeed the best feeling ever.  Like eating a chocolate chip cookie fresh out of the oven.  Like enjoying things you've never enjoyed before.  Like knowing that you've fallen and finding no need to get up.


For so long I fought this feeling.
That this feeling of love for him could not exist.
 The love i knew before left me so uncertain about ever loving again.
 But this love... This love is like nothing I've ever experienced before.
This love keeps a smile on my face, and others noticing.
This love makes me sing and dance and laugh.
This love makes me happy that I finally gave him a chance