Untitled.

The feeling of disappointment and disgust filled her body when she walked into her living room to notice her sixty inch LCD television was missing.  He was strung out again and she was mentally drained.  She walked into her room and sat on the bed.  She knew that she had to get rid of him before she had nothing but he was her husband and when she married him she promised they would never get a divorce.  But this was not the first time that he had walked away with something in the house and she was tired of it. 

Distraught, she walked into their closet.  This time she was going to pack all his things and drop them off at his mothers house.  She looked at his clothes and saw nothing but worn down tennis shoes, raggedy jeans, and faded worn out shirts.  She took all of his clothes off the hangers, folded them and neatly put them in a duffle bag.  When she was done she reached to the back of the closet and was shocked to find an all white Armani suit still hanging up in the back of the closet.  Tears started to fall from her eyes. She remembered the last time that she had seen him in a suit.  The last time she felt her life was normal.

 Three years earlier, his wife was pregnant with their second child, a little boy.   She was out of town in Milan for a hair show and he was excited because he was going to spend quality time with his little girl Justice. Justice was his world.  He would do anything for her and everyone who knew him knew that Justice had a special place in his heart.  That day,  he had left the office and went over to his mothers house to pick her up.  He was stressed, there was something suspecious going on with the firm he worked for and he was trying to figure out what it was.  He pulled up to his mother's house and his little pride and joy came running out into his arms.  He picked her up, buckled her into her booster seat and started driving towards their home.  On the way home, he recieved a call from the office.  It was Stevenson telling him that there was an emergency at the firm and he need to come back as soon as possible.  He was shocked and did not know what to do.  He never put work before his daughter, but this was an emergency and he needed to go back to find out what was going on.  He looked down at his phone thinking of who to call and when he looked up he was on the wrong side of the street coming head on with a huge eighteen wheeled truck.  He swerved to the right and so did the truck causing the truck to crash straight into the drivers side of his Range Rover HSE.

He woke up in the hospital ten days after the accident and he was hysterical.  He screamed for Justice. Sitting next to his hospital bed, his wife tried to calm him down.  Tears started falling from her eyes but he did not care for her cries.  He wanted to know where his baby girl was and wanted to see her.  His wife's cries became louder.  Deep down he knew that something was wrong but he did not care.  All he wanted was to hold Justice in his arms and kiss her on her cheek.  His wife screams out "SHE'S DEAD" and  he went ballistic.  He started pulling out all of the machines he was connected to so that he can go find his daughter.  His wife tells him she was found dead at the scene and he crumbles to the floor like a little baby crying so loud that the doctors come rushing into his room.

Two months later, he was out of a job and still mourning the death of his daughter.  Stevenson was convicted and went to prison for fraud, his whole company was closed down.  He spent every day sitting in a chair in Justice's room staring at her pictures for hours.  He would not eat.  He did not sleep.  He did not shower or brush his teeth.  He sat in that room everyday crying.  He talked to Justice and asked her to come back.  She never responded and it always hurts him so much.  He was beating himself up inside because the only time that he put his job before his daughter, she ended up dead.

His wife went into labor.  She called him and told him she was at the hospital.  He still sat in Justice's room looking at her pictures, holding on to her favorite doll.  His wife went through twenty-three hours of labor and he never showed up.  She was disappointed and hurt.  He sat in that same chair crying, holding on to that doll.  When she was to be released, he showed up.  He had been drinking, matter of fact, he was drunk.  He stumbled into her room and looked at their little boy who she named Joshua and walked out.  He looked just like Justice and it angered him.  He didn't want anything to do with him.  When she got home, he was back in the room this time holding a bottle of Hennessey.  He did not look at her, he just sat there drinking.  He got worse.  He would not touch Joshua.  He would not care for him.  He would wake up in the morning, and go for long walks.  He would come home in the middle of the night and lay in Justice's bed.  His wife tried to comfort him but he rejected her.  He was lost, she was hurting.

The first time he talked to her in six months was right after he smoked his first crack rock.  He had been walking drunk in a low-income neighborhood and someone came up to him and asked him had he ever tried it before.  He told the stranger no and the stranger handed him the pipe and he took a smoke.  After three hits of the pipe, he felt like a different person.  He forgot about mourning for Justice.  He forgot about his problems.  He felt like he was on top of the world and that he could accomplish anything.  He was free.  He was horny.  He went home, slipped back the covers of his bed and began kissing his wife like she had never been kissed.  He caressed her, he made lover to her like they were on their honeymoon.  He held her in his arms all night.  When he woke up, he felt like the world was falling on down on him.  He had to go back and find the stranger with the drugs because he had to feel happy again.  He went searching for him and found him standing on a corner.  The excitement he felt when he hit the pipe was the same feeling that a child feels when he gets a new toy for Christmas.  He was happy, he was free of his problems.

She found out about his problem when she was doing laundry.  She found a crack pipe in his pocket and broke down and cried like a baby.  He was slowly killing himself and he was strung out on drugs.  She felt like there was nothing she could do.  He was not the person she married and it hurt her so much to see him so weak.  He once was her king, now he was the scum of the earth.  She asked him to go to rehab and he accepted but ran away three days after arrival.  That's when he started stealing things to buy crack.  She would not give him money, and he was going to get his fix whether she liked it or not.  He was so strung out he was dead.  He was a walking zombie.


She sat on her bed and cried, she did not know what to do.  She just wanted her husband to be the man he once was.  A man that would do anything for his family.  A man who loved his wife.  She packed up that Armani suit and wrote a little note "I love you more than life itself, but I have to move on for Joshua.  Get yourself together and come home.  Until then, leave me alone."

Three weeks later, he was found in an alley dead.  He had overdosed.  In his hand, he held that note that said, "I love you more than life itself..."

Jay's 10 Rules For Pleasing Your Man

10. Keep yourself up.  Your man should love you even at your worst but no man wants to see you at your worst every day.  Keep yourself up the way you did when you first met.  Have your hair looking nice and keep your nails and feet done.  If you can't afford it, do it yourself!!

9. Listen and pay attention.  As women we think we know everything.  BUT we don't.  Listen to your man because he may be giving you the clues into his desires.  If you think you know everything your going to overlook the little things he loves.

8. Try new things.  This is a relationship.  Your man is always going to like something you don't care too much for.  Give it a try.  You never know you might like end up with a new interest.

7. Simple things always work. There are simple ways to show your man you love him.  Leave him a note, send him an email, message him, tweet him.  Send a simple I love you.  Randomly cook him a big dinner, buy him flowers, cards, balloons... yes we love these things but they love them too.

6. Give your best and then some.  ALWAYS!! give your best in the relationship.  No slackin just because you got him.  Because when you stop trying someone else will snatch him up!!

5. communication is key.  Communication is key to a successful relationship.  He should be able to tell you anything and vice versa.  If you don't like something, let him know but be open when he lets you know what he doesn't like as well.

4. DO NOT EVER SNOOP.  Whenever you snoop you're looking for something wrong.  The littlest things can be taken the wrong way and snooping always leads to argument.. who wants to argue when you could love?  Stay out of his FB, twitter, phone && email.  Respect his privacy.

3. Try new things ((in bed)).  Missionary, from the back, and on top get boring all the time.  Try new things.  There's plenty of new positions you could find on the net.  Try some :)

2. Cater to your man.  No explanation necessary.

1. Give him morning head.  Wake up in the morning, roll over, kiss his lips, and give him head.  I guarantee his day will start off better than ever!

Jasmine

She walks with her head held high, confidence, and style
She doesn't know exactly where she's going
But her future sits so clear
She knows with hard work, success is near

One thing she loves to do is write.
and this she does well
because these words that you are reading
are the story of Jasmine that I shall tell.

She has a fierce appearance
sometimes her facial expressions kill
She can look beautiful on her worse days
Amazing when she steps out
but looks is not what she's all about

Inside she's fighting an internal struggle
trying to undo the pain and agony that trauma has caused
her outside appearance never shows her pain
But she stays optimistic, "the sun always shines after the rain"

She loves and enjoys the little things in life
like art, music, and the sound of a little child's laughter
She loves the feeling of life
Life's little treasures is what she is after

She's far from perfect
but it she never let it stop her
because when ever she notes a flaw
working to fix that flaw is her only cure

But that's enough about Jasmine
I hoped you enjoyed the lines
&& learned lots about here
hidden in these rhymes

Top 5 Things I need On the Daily

1. God

2. Cell phone

3. Something sweet to eat 

4. Music 

5. Computer/pencil & paper to write.

Night Cap

I close my eyes and you are here


Knocking on my door inviting yourself in

My smile gestures you to sit by my side

I’ve been yearning to have you near



I push your dreads out of your face

I can see your eyes so beautiful, so deep

Like having you inside you right now

Would make me complete



I giggle from nervousness

But my body is excited

Because my intentions to night..

Oh boy, you will certainly be delighted



I grab your hand

You say hello how do you do

Shhhhhhhhhh

I place my fingers on your lips to silence you



I kiss your lips

mmm so sweet

Temperatures rising

I can feel the heat



My shirt meets the ground

Your hands and my breasts meet

My nipples stand erect

My panties fall to my feet



My naked skin

So soft in the palm of your hands

My hormones are raging

I tug on your pants



As soon as our skin meets

My body is on fire

Just the touch from your hands

Is taking me higher



I lay your body down

Tonight is your night

I’m in control baby

Get ready to take flight



I take you inside my mouth

You taste so yummy

Sucking soft and hard

I’m ready to feel it in my tummy



I suck until your start to throb

I kiss your lips again

Time to hop on your dick

And do my job



Having you inside of me

Is making me so weak

Loud moans fall from my mouth

As I cherish every inch inside



I bounce my ass a little

In my zone doing my thing

Grab your dick with pussy

Oh I think I’m going to cream



And I feel my orgasm rising

My moans become shrill

Thrust your dick deeper

Numbness is all I feel



Oh baby oh baby

Is all I can scream

I like how I can cover

Your dick in my white cream



Now you fuck me from behind

And watch my ass as I throw it back

Oh boy you blow my mind

As you beat it from the back



Your slow stroke me

My mind is at ease

My body is relaxed

If feel so free



The strokes become quick

I feel it in my stomach

I say daddy give it to me

You say baby take this dick



And now to drain the snake

I must do a trick

A tighten my pussy muscles

I wrap them around your dick



As your pants become closer

My temperature rises

I feel my legs shaking

Oh yes I’m full of surprises



Together we climax

The fairytales complete

I kiss your sweaty face, lay on your chest

And fall asleep to your heart beat

Untitled

He stays hidden in my dreams

Like an unsolved mystery


Playing with my mind

My focus is not on my normal grind


I'm lost, baffled, and so off beat

I don't know who he is && how this can be

I'm struggling trying to the way to his place

I feel like an alien from out of space

My lips are trembling and hands are shaking

My face is sweating and my heart is breaking

The man in my dream has disappeared

But I feel it in my heart that he's somewhere near

And when I find him I'll kiss his lips and look deep into his eyes

and find the love he's hidden with no surprise

Disaster

I feel like my love life, is a complete disaster.
Thought I had love figured out
&& she throws a curve ball at me
&& i'm sent back into a state of disequilibrium
Bitter
Angry
Confused
I succeed at everything
But love has never been one of them
So i analyze the situation
Maybe its the type of guys I am attracted to
controlling; manipulative;huge Egos
Maybe its that I fail to read red flags
Whatever it is, i'm tired of disastrous love
So I'll sit back && work on me
Until I happen to stumble upon...
The Right kind of Love.