Survivor.

So I survived another month of August. My anxiety wasn't as bad this time and the nightmares really didn't come. Maybe like once or twice. Really, I'm just thankful to be here healthy and not having any major malfunctions. Well now that I've survived I believe I can finally put this nightmare in the past where it belongs. 

Trauma

I tell myself this is all my imagination playing tricks on me.  That I am okay sleeping alone.  But I toss and turn and the minute my eyes close the nightmares begin... 

It all started as a normal day, going to work like usual. I had my niece Ja'Naya with me but she didn't have a car seat so Michael, Shaunte, her daughter, my niece and I stopped by the daycare to see if there was a car seat for her... That's all I remember.. Michael, Shaunte and her daughter all going inside the daycare and Ja'Naya and I staying inside the car... 

Next thing you know.. I'm waking up in UCD wondering what the hell is going on.. I guess this is why I have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder... Because I have these dreams where something traumatizing is happening to me and I can't remember it at all.. Just like in real life.. 

No one understands why 5 years later I'd still have traumatizing nights over this but I literally lived a nightmare. I look beautiful now but there was a time where half of my face was paralyzed like a stroke victim.. August has always been the hardest month for me.. I pray every August I make it without breaking.