i Love this picture, so i'd thought i'd open up this late night blog.. with this picture.. Okay.. its 2:16AM && i haven't blogged in a few days.. mainly because I've been trying to find myself. I am a hopeless romantic.. I love being in love.. ((you probably can tell by my last posts)) Lately, I've been realizing that I have been fighting love. I've been forcing myself to communicate and be around people that I have no interest in.. trying to rid myself of Love.. well I'ma F'n admit it.. I AM IN LOVE!!! I love poppa.. but I can't have him.. I cannot be with him.. it will never work.. It hella hurts.. HELLA HURTS!! But I enjoy the time that I get to spend with him.. We went out to lunch earlier today to our old restaurant & sat in our favorite booth, ordered the same exact thing we ate every other time.. i missed our Monday lunch dates to that old restaurant.. I loved the conversations we had , the kisses we shared.. I miss that.. I really do.. Our relationship is beyyooond damaged.. it would take a miracle to fix this.. I love him and I know that he love me, but we have some real growing to do before it can ever work out.. I have been in denial for so long, it hurts my feelings..
I LOVE HIM. I LOVE HIM. I LOVE HIM. I know our relationship is not strong, its far from it.. It's probably the most dysfunctional relationship on the planet.. but thats my poppa, my baby, my honey.. my EVERYTHING... I don't know.. i don't think it will ever work between us. The trust was lost a looooooooooooooong time ago.. Things have happened that we cannot change nor fix.. I just know that I am not ready to move on to no one new until I cease the feelings I have for my poppa.. As long as I am in love with him.. another relationship with someone else will never have its chance to blossom..
Damn..only you would admit that shit on the internet! and I wish I knew who the hell you are in love with...go for it, but dont hurt yourself in the process of trying to find happiness, you said it yourself, you can never be with him, it would take a miracle to fix yall up! but if you can control and respect that knowledge...go for it! dont do anything I wouldn't do...including the "emotional attachment" part...stay clear and focused and let your fun take you places...not your mind! ; )
ReplyDelete