My G0ALS 4 THE REST 0F THE YEAR AND THE BEGiNiNNG OF NEXT

F0R DECEMBER..
FINISH 0F THE SEMESTER AND OBTAIN AT LEAST A 3.0.
G0 ICE SKATING
GET THR0UGH MY FIRST CHRISTMAS/BIRTHDAY W/O MICHAEL =[
GET READY F0R THE BABY [[MY NIECE 0R NEPHEW]]

F0R JANUARY..
M0VE
GET READY F0R THE BABY [[MY NIECE 0R NEPHEW]]

IVE NEVER HAD A BABY BEF0RE S0 IF ANY0NE KN0WS ANY G00D PLACES F0R BABY STUFF BESIDES WALMART AND TARGET LET ME KN0W!! THANKS

DRAMA

I BEEN MINDIN MY 0WN BIZ. AINT BEEN N0 DRAMA WID N0 BITCHES.. ITS BEEN SM00TH SAILIN.. MIKE WILL BE H0ME S00N S0 I BEEN C00L.. S0 S0ME DUMB STUPID ASS H0E BITCHES WANNA B WID THE SHIT AND KEEP 0N INV0LVIN ME IN SHIT.. N0T CH00SIN THEY W0RDS WISELY WHEN THEY SAY WHAT THEY G0TTA SAY... WELL IM HERE T0 SAY.. IM N0T W0RRIED AB0UT Y0U BITCHES... F0R S0ME0NE WH0 IS "SAVED" WHY W0ULD Y0U WISH DEATH UP0N ME?!.. ILL LET G0D DEAL WITH Y0U.. HAHAHA.. CUZ THATS W0RSE THEN HAVIN T0 DEAL WITH ME..

YEAH BACK IN THE DAY I WAS KINDA WILD.. I DIDNT GIVE A FUCK... W0ULD GET 0FF 0N ANY BITCH IF I HAD T0.. BUT H0NESTLY.. CAN I KEEP IT 100.. IM GR0WN.. IM AB0UT 2 B 22 YEARS 0LD IN LESS THAN 30 DAYS... AND IM N0T W0RRIED AB0UT N0B0DY WH0 AINT 0N THE SAME LEVEL AS ME.. I G0T 4 SEMESTERS 0F UNDERGRAD THEN IM G0IN 2 CREDENTIAL SCH00L AND THEN MASTERS PR0GRAM.. I D0NT REALLY HAVE TIME T0 LIVE IN THE PAST.. H0NESTLY.. AND THIS IS FR0M THE B0TT0M 0F MY HEART.. WERE T0 0LD F0R ALL THIS CRAP.. BACK WHEN WE WAS TEENAGERS IT WAS EXPECTED.. BUT PEOPLE HAVE THINGS T0 D0.. IM N0T G0NNA SIT UP HERE AND SAY MY LIFE IS HELLA GREAT AND IM D0IN BETTER THAN N0B0DY BECUZ IM N0T LIKE THAT... BUT I AM G0NNA SAY THAT IM D0ING S0METHING WITH MY LIFE S0 WITH THAT C0MES HATERS... BUT KEEP Y0UR HATING T0 Y0URSELF THANK Y0U!


WHEN ME AND MICHAEL TALK AB0UT H0W CAN WE STRENGTHEN 0UR RELATI0NSHIP.. WE TALK AB0UT GETTIN RID 0F TH0SE WH0 INV0LVE THEMSELVES IN 0UR RELATIONSHIP. 0N N0VEMBER 21, 2006 WHEN HE ASKED ME 2 B HIS GIRL. IT WAS 0NLY ME AND HIM.. F0R THE LAST 3 YEARS.. IT HASNT BEEN JUST BEEN AND HIM.. AND THATS Y ITS BEEN HELLA DRAMA.. FR0M MY PARENTS T0 HIS PARENTS.. T0 0UR FRENS.. T0 FAM.. T0 JUST AB0UT EVERY0NE WE KN0W... BUT IMMA TELL Y0U... WE'VE BEEN D0NE WITH THAT.. Y0U GUYS TALK TALK TALK.. AND BE 100 PERCENT N0T TALKIN AB0UT THE TRUTH... JUST LIKE N0W.. ITS BEEN 1084028304923 ST0RIES CIRCULATING AB0UT THE CURRENT SITUATI0N.. BUT N0 0NE KN0WS THE TRUTH... THATS WHY S0ME PE0PLE LIVE.. ITS FUNNY H0W I CAN SIT UP HERE AND WRITE A WH0LE FAKE ASS BL0G AB0UT H0W I MET S0ME0NE NEW AND IM DIGGIN HIM.. AND 30 MINUTES LATER IM GETTING A CALL AB0UT IT.. BUT AINT 0NE 0F Y0U BITCHES C00L WID ME.. HAHAHAHA.. BASICALLY ALL IM SAYIN... IF Y0U D0NT KN0W WHAT Y0UR TALKIN AB0UT.. D0NT SPEAK 0N IT.. JUST LIVE Y0UR LIFE.. ALRIGHT.. BUT ANYWAYS.. I G0TTA GET READY F0R W0RK..

THANK Y0U 2 THE FEW WH0 SUPP0RTS EVERYTHING I D0. I L0VE Y0U
L0VE,
$LiCk

D0 Y0U REALLy KN0W Y0UR SiGNiFiCANT 0THER?!

S0 YESTERDAY WHEN I WAS TALKIN T0 My L0VE.. I ASKED HIM A QUESTI0N THAT I BEEN THINKING AB0UT F0R THE L0NGEST.. I ASKED HIM "WHY D0 Y0U WANT 2 B WITH ME?" F0R YALL WH0 KN0W US WELL.. Y0U KN0W 0UR RELATI0NSHIP HAS BEEN QUITE C0MPLICATING AND C0MPLEX.. I WANTED 2 KN0W.. IF 2 Y0UR PARENTS.. IF T0 Y0UR FRENS.. IF T0 Y0UR FAM.. IM N0T THE 0NE F0R Y0U.. WHY D0 Y0U THINK IM THE 0NE F0R Y0U?! SO WHEN I ASKED HIM THAT QUESTION HE QUICKLY ANSWERED LIKE MY QUESTION WAS SIMPLE, "BECAUSE Y0U HAVE ALWAYS BEEN HERE F0R ME THR0UGH EVERYTHING. BECAUSE I'D DIE BEF0RE ID BE WITH0UT Y0U. BECAUSE I SAW Y0U WHEN Y0U WERE AT Y0UR L0WEST STILL SMIILING... BECAUSE I SEEN YOU NEAR DEATH DO A COMPLETE 180 AND I WAS RIGHT THERE TO SEE IT ALL.. BECAUSE THERE ISNT ANY0NE ELSE 0UT THERE F0R ME BECAUSE I F0UND MY S0UL MATE IN 8TH GRADE.. IT JUST T00K S0ME YEARS T0 FIND Y0U.." THAT T0UCHED MY HEART.. Y0U KN0W.. 0N SATURDAY WE WILL BE T0GETHER F0R 3 YEARS AND I C0ULD TELL THAT THERE HAS BEEN GR0WTH IN 0UR RELATI0NSHIP.. I ASKED HIM AN0THER QUESTI0N: "DID Y0U EVER C0NSIDER ME AS 0NE 0F Y0UR BITCHES... U KN0W LIKE A SIDELINE H0E?" HIS RESPONSE: "N0 BECAUSE WHEN WE STARTED KICKIN IT AFTER ALL 0F TH0SE YEARS.. I C0NSIDERED Y0U MY FRIEND.. THEN IT JUST ENDED UP BEING A RELATIONSHIP".. PEOPLE ARE SO QUICK TO HAVE BABIES WITH SOMEONE OR SO QUICK TO GET MARRIED TO SOMEONE THEY DONT EVEN KNOW.. I'VE BEEN WITH HIM FOR 3 YEARS AND I STILL FEEL LIKE IM STILL LEARNING.. THE FIRST FEW YEARS HAVE BEEN BUMPY.. BECAUSE WE HAD TO LEARN HOW TO BE CONSIDERATE OF EACH OTHERS NEEDS.. HE SAYS IM HIS FIRST REAL RELATIONSHIP.. NOT THAT THE OTHER RELATIONSHIPS DIDNT MATTER.. BUT IM THE FIRST FEMALE THAT HE HAS LIVED WITH.. SHARED MONEY.. YOU KNOW THINGS MARRIED PEOPLE DO.. HES N0T THE FIRST PERS0N I HAVE LIVED WITH BUT I CAN SAY THAT THIS IS THE FIRST RELATIONSHIP WHERE I CAN TELL WERE B0TH CHANGING AND GR0WING T0GETHER... MY X BEF0RE HIM.. THAT WAS MY HIGH SCH00L L0VE.. IVE BEEN WITH MICHAEL SINCE I WAS 18.. IM AB0UT 2 B 22.. I JUST CANNOT WAIT UNTIL HE C0MES H0ME.. WHEN Y0UR APART FR0M S0ME0NE F0R S0 L0NG Y0U START T0 REALZIE ALL 0F THE THINGS THAT Y0U DIDNT APPRECIATE BEF0RE. F0R EXAMPLEL, MICHAEL MADE SURE THAT I HAD WHAT I NEEDED... I NEVER REALIZED 0R APPRECIATED THAT UNTIL N0W.. ALL I'M SAYIN IS IF Y0UR IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH SOMEONE YOU LOVE.. MAKE SURE THAT THAT PERS0N IS G0ING T0 BE WILLING T0 W0RK WITH Y0U 0N Y0UR FLAWS.. BECAUSE EVERY0NE HAS FLAWS.. AND Y0UR G0ING T0 BE WILLING T0 W0RK WITH THEM 0N THEIRS.. TALK T0 Y0UR SIGNIFICANT 0THER.. KN0W THEIR DREAMS, G0ALS, ASPIRATI0NS IN LIFE.. BECAUSE THE FASTER Y0U GET T0 KN0W EACH 0THER AND DECIDE IF Y0UR WILLING T0 ACCEPT THEIR FLAWS.. THE EASIER THE RELATIONSHIP WILL BE.. N0 RELATIONSHIP IS EASY BUT AT LEAST Y0U WILL KN0W THAT Y0UR 0N THE SAME PAGE.. 0KAY AUDIENCE.. ITS TIME F0R ME T0 G0 T0 SCH00L..

ALWAYS,
♔§⌊ι⊄κ™

THE 0NE i GAVE My HEART T0..

ITS HARD 2 HAVE A RELATI0NSHIP.. Y0U WANNA BE HAPPY THEY WANNA BE HAPPY... A RELATI0NSHIP IS ALL AB0UT C0MPR0MISE... S0METIMES Y0U HAVE T0 L0SE T0 WIN... IT ABS0LUTELY SUCKS N0T BEING WITH MY L0VE.. BUT S0METIMES Y0U HAVE 2 PAY THE C0NSEQUENCES F0R Y0UR ACTI0NS.. S0METIMES Y0U WILL HURT M0RE THAN EVERY0NE KN0WS BECAUSE 0F Y0UR DECISI0NS.. I JUST CANT WAIT F0R HIM 2 C0ME H0ME S0 THAT I CAN BE IN HIS ARMS EVERYDAY AGAIN.. F0R THE L0NGEST I USED T0 THINK THAT HE DIDNT L0VE ME AND HE DIDNT THINK I L0VED HIM.. MATTER 0F FACT.. WHAT THE HELL IS L0VE?! HAS ANY0NE EVER GIVEN A DEFINITI0N F0R WHAT L0VE IS.. 0R IS IT S0 SYMB0LIC AND INTANGIBLE THAT WE WILL NEVER KN0W WHAT IT IS... I KN0W THAT L0VE CAN MAKE Y0U FEEL LIKE Y0U ARE 0N AN ALL TIME HIGH... AND AT THE SAME TIME L0VE CAN MAKE Y0U FEEL LIKE Y0U JUST CRASHED INT0 A WALL.. L0VE CAN MAKE Y0U FEEL SAFE AND SECURE.. AND L0VE CAN MAKE Y0U FEEL LIKE SHIT.. ALL I KN0W IS THAT PE0PLE D0 CHANGE.. PE0PLE GR0W T0GETHER.. WE MIGHT BE Y0UNG AND N0T KN0W EVERYTHING AB0UT L0VE BUT I KN0W F0R SURE N0W THAT HE L0VES ME AND HE KN0WS I L0VE HIM AND FR0M THAT WE WILL W0RK 2 HAVE A BETTER STR0NGER RELATI0NSHIP WHEN HE C0MES H0ME!

S00 ANXi0US

IM N0T EVEN G0NNA LIE IM HELLA ANXI0US 2 C MY B00 FACE 2 FACE. 2 KISS HIS LIPS. JUST T0 BE WITH HIM. AS EACH WEEK PASSES I GET M0RE AND M0RE ANXI0US AND ITS HELLA IRRITATING. IM N0T G0NNA SAY WHEN HES GETTIN 0UT 0N HERE JUST F0R THE 0NES WH0 WANNA KN0W.. I WANNA BE THE 0NLY 0NE WH0 KN0WS.. WELL 0F C0URSE IM N0T THE 0NLY 0NE BUT I WANNA BE THE FIRST 0NE WH0 GETS 2 B THERE WITH HIM!! I L0VE HIM.. I SWEAR I D0!! I D0NT KN0W WHAT ELSE T0 SAY RIGHT N0W.. IM JUST RAMBLING AWAY.. BUT REALLY.. I G0T A L0T T0 ACC0MPLISH..

1. FINISH THIS SEMESTER 0FF WITH THE BEST GRADES EVER 2 MAKE MY MAN PR0UD

2. M0VE INT0 MY 0WN APARTAMENT0

3. GET NEXT SEMESTER STARTED 0FF GREAT

4. STAY S0LID.

LOL. WELL BASICALLY.. IT HELLA SUCKS TH0 CUZ N0W I 0NLY CAN VISIT 0NCE A WEEK INSTEAD 0F 3 TIMES.. BUT ITS 0KAY. THE HARDEST TIME IS G0NNA BE WHEN HE G0ES T0 THE PENN. BECAUSE N0T TALKIN 2 HIM EVERYDAY IS G0NNA BE W0RSE BECAUSE IM N0T G0NNA KN0W IF HE IS 0KAY 0R N0T.. BUT ILL HAVE 2 BE STR0NG... BECAUSE HELL BE H0ME S00N AND I CANT WAIT!! =D

I USED 2 THINK HE L0VED ME.. BUT I KN0W HE D0ES!!

YESTERDAY WAS THE M0ST STRESSFUL M0ST DRAMA FILLED DAY.. I D0NT UNDERSTAND IF A NIGGA D0NT WANT Y0U WHY Y0U INSIST 0N DRIVING ALL THE WAY TO ELK GR0VE THINKIN MAYBE IF HE SEES YOU HE WILL WANT YOU.. N0 BITCH NEVER.. HAHAHA.. BUT YEAH I C0ULDNT EVEN SEE HIM CUZ THIS FAT BITCH CAME UP TO SEE HIM.. S0 THEN I JUST H0PPED 0N MY GIRLS CARD AND WENT 2 C HIM.. AND SHE L00KED HELLA DUMB.. WAITED 0UTSIDE F0R 2 H0URS T0 SPEND 2 MINUTES GETTING CURSED 0UT AND L00KIN A F00L IN FR0NT 0F ALL THE PE0PLE SHE AT UP THERE AND TALKED SHIT AB0UT ME T0.. AHAHAHA.. BUT YEAH.. I CANT BELIEVE HE T0LD HER IM HIS WIFE AND THAT IMMA RIDE 0R DIE AND IF SHE D0ESNT LIKE IT SHE CAN KICK R0CKS.. SLAMED THE PH0NE D0WN G0T 0N THE PH0NE WID ME AND SHE G0T UP HELLA CRYIN HAHAHA.. S0 BASICALLY Y0U HELLA WASTED EVERY0NES TIME AND HIS SISTER SHAUNTEH DIDNT EVEN GET 2 C HIM BECAUSE Y0U WANTED 2 G0 UP THERE 2 GET CURSED 0UT..

BUT ANWAYS.. AFTER SHE LEFT.. WE TALKED AB0UT PLANNIN 0UR 0FFICIAL WEDDING.. I WANNA GET MARRIED IN THE CITY BECAUSE IM FR0M THE BAY BUT HE WAS SAYIN THAT WE SHUD JUST GET MARRIED RIGHT HERE IN SAC.. WHAT D0 YALL THINK?! I THINK THE CITY IS WAY M0RE EXPENSIVE T0 GET MARRIED BUT SHIT.. I WANNA HAVE A NICE WEDDING.. I D0NT WANT A BIG 0NE.. BUT FUCK IT.. WE B0TH G0T BIG ASS FAMILIES S0 WERE S0L IN TRYNA HAVE A SMALL 0NE.. BUT ANYWAYS.. YEAH.. WE TALKED AB0UT THAT AND WHAT WERE G0NNA D0 WHEN HE GETS H0ME.. BASICALLY WE WANNA PR0VE 2 EVERY0NE THAT WE CAN W0RK T0GETHER AND MAKE IT AS A C0UPLE.. AS A FAMILY..

BEiNG WiTH0UT HiM SUCKS..

LAST NIGHT I C0ULDNT THINK JUST THINKIN THAT MY H0NEY MAY BE LEAVIN 2 THE PEN S00N ALL 0VER STUPID ASS BULLSHIT AND DRAMA.. I FEEELL HELLA BAD... UGH.. I MAY 0NLY SEE HIM LIKE 0NCE 0R TWICE MAYBE 3 TIMES AND THEN I MAY N0T SEE HIM AGAIN UNTIL NEXT YEAR.. DAMN I WANTED 2 AT LEAST B ABLE 2 C HIM F0R 0UR ANNERVERSARy BUT HE MIGHT BE G0NE F0R THAT =[ IM SAD.. JUST TH0UGHT ID WRITE A FEW LINES T0 GET THIS 0FF MY CHEST..

I APPRECIATED THAT

i NEVER REALiZED H0W MUCH MiKEy L0VES ME UNTiL YESTERDAy.. YESTERDAy WAS HALL0WEEN BUT 0F C0URSE i WENT ND ViSiTED ND DiDNT G0 0UT.. LAME HUH.. BUT ANy WAys.. HE SAys.. I CUDDA PRESSED CHARGES AGAiNST Y0U.. BUT THAT MEANT.. iT W0ULD SKREW UP Y0UR CAREER PLANS.. D0 Y0U KN0W H0W MUCH THAT MEANS T0 ME?! LiKE H0NESTLy.. F0R HiM 2 THiNK AB0UT ME.. I CANT EVEN EXPLAiN H0W I FELT.. I KiNDA TEARED UP.. THATS L0VE CUZ ANy 0THER NiGGA W0ULD HAVE PRESSED CHARGES LiKE A BiTCH.. JUST HAD 2 LET Y0U GUYS KN0W.. I REALLY APPRECiATE HIM!!