LET ME B ME

&& THiS C0MES FR0M THE B0TT0M 0F MY HEART..
I FEEL LIKE I CANT REALLY BE ME CUZ WHAT EVERY0NE HAS 2 SAY [[FRENS, FAMILY]]
H0W C0ME I CANT JUST BE WH0 I WANNA BE?!?!
IF Y0U D0NT LIKE IT.. THEN D0NT C0ME AR0UND ME..
D0NT DEAL WITH ME..
I DIDNT TALK 2 MICHAEL FOR 3 M0NTHS BECAUSE IM T00 W0RRIED AB0UT WHAT EVERY0NE ELSE HAS 2 SAY WHEN I MISS HIM LIKE CRAZY AND I STILL L0VE HIM..
BUT Y AM I LISTENING TO ANY OF YOU WHEN.. NOT ONE FEMALE I KNOW RIGHT NOW RELATIONSHIP IS GOIN RIGHT.. EVERY0NE FR0M MY FRENS 2 MY PARENTS.. S0O IM HELLA TIRED 0F PUTTIN MY FEELINGS 2 THE SIDE F0R EVERY0NE ELSE..
YEAH WE MIGHT OF ARGUED A LOT && EVEN F0UGHT.. BUT HE WAS ALWAYS THERE WHEN N0NE 0F Y0U WERE.. && Y0UR ALL FAKE & PHONY IF Y0U ASK ME..
WHY W0ULD U N0T STILL L0VE ME & B THERE F0R ME BECAUSE U D0NT LIKE WH0 I TALK 2? THEN Y0U D0NT GIVE A FUCK AB0UT ME EITHER... MAYBE I NEED 2 SURR0UND MYSELF AR0UND DIFFERNT PE0PLE.. AS MUCH AS I HATE 2 LET MY FAMILY G0 I WILL.. N0T F0R HIM... BUT F0R MYSELF.. MAYBE I NEED 2 B 0UT 0N MY 0WN && SH0W Y0U I CAN STANT 0N MY 0WN 2 FEET WITH 0UT Y0U.. MAYBE THEN Y0U WILL REALIZE WH0 I REALLY AM..
BECAUSE I D0NT THINK ANY0NE KN0WS WH0 I REALLY AM.. I CARE 2 MUCH ABOUT WHAT 0THERS G0TTA SAY AND I TRY 2 MAKE EVERY0NE HAPPY && THATS N0T MAKIN ME HAPPY.. HES IN A 4X4 BECAUSE I LISTENED 2 Y0U.. && ITS N0T FAIR.. N0W IM N0T TALKIN 2 JUST 0NE PERS0N IN GENERAL BUT DAMN..I BEEN SITTIN HERE F0R THE LAST FEW DAYS JUST THINKIN.. I NEED 2 B 0N MY 0WN.. AWAY FR0M EVERY0NE ELSE AND THEIR PROBLEMS.. AND MAYBE ILL FEEL BETTER ABOUT MYSELF.. BASICALLY I NEED 2 THINK ABOUT ME ND NOT EVERYONE ELSE..
S0 BASICALLY IM LETTING ALL 0F Y0U KN0W.. CHERISH THE TIME Y0U HAVE WITH ME BEF0RE I D0 IT M0VIN 0N ALL 0F Y0U!!

L0VE

L0ve is LiKe a FL0wer...
Beautiful but Delicate

fr0m a seed it gr0ws
into s0mething elaborate

if y0u neglect it..
it will wither away

if y0u care f0r it..
it will bl0ss0m int0 s0mething so vibrant & so delightful

its smell will tickle y0ur n0se
ts subtleness will calm y0u
& its presence will brighten y0ur day..

but...

if y0u neglect it...
it will wither away..

l0ve is like a fl0wer..
Beautiful but Delecate..

G00D Bye SuMMer

G00DBYE SUMMER!! GOOD BYE WILD NIGHTS AT THE GYM.. WORKIN OUT && KICKIN IT.. G0ODBYE BAY TRIPS.. TRIPS ALL 0VA.. BELMONT.. ALAMEDA.. RICHMOND.. SF.. OAKLAND.. HAYWARD.. UHHHH.. GOOD BYE SLEEP ALL DAY UP ALL NIGHT NIGHTS WID TINA.. GOODBYE CARELESSNESS.. GOOD BYE JAY && RIK.. ALWAYS KEEP US LAUGHIN.. GOOD BYE PHILIPPINES!! && MANGO!! GOOD BYE SUMMER DRESSES HELLO SKINNY JEANS.. GOODBYE ALL OF THE MEMORIES I HAD THIS SUMMER OF 2009.. BECAUSE FALL IS APPROACHING.. HOW MUCH I HATE THE FALL.. FALL BRINGS ME CLOSER 2 FINISHING SCHOOL AND CLOSER 2 YOU!!

MY SUMMER HAS BEEN MY AWAY.. MY AWAY FROM ALL THE DRAMA.. WHEN I LANDED BACK HERE IN AMERICA I FORGOT THAT SUMMER WAS OVER .. H0W MUCH IT HURT ME TO COME BACK 2 REALITY.. 2 REALIZE THAT PEOPLE GO THEIR SEPERATE WAYS WHEN FALL COMES.. TO REALIZE THAT THE LOVE OF MY LIFE IS SITTING IN A 4X4 CELL IN ELK GROVE BECAUSE OF STRAIGHT FOOLISHNESS.. 2 BE HAPPY THAT HES NOT MAD.. BUT SCARED OF WHAT THAT MEANS.. THERES A LOT THAT THE FALL BRINGS.. FALL IS THE TIME I STUDY STUDY STUDY.. GOTTA HAVE GOOD GRADES TO GET INTO A GOOD CREDENTIAL PROGRAM.. SO GOOD BYE SUMMER SEE YOU NEXT YEAR..

L0ST

WITH0UT Y0U... LOL N0 I LIED.. BUT REALLY I AM L0ST RIGHT N0W.. IM L0ST AB0UT WH0 IS REALLY IMP0RTANT 2 ME IN LIFE... IVE BEEN SOOOO HURT THAT IVE BEEN SURR0UNDIN MYSELF AR0UND TH0SE WH0 D0NT GIVE 2 FS AB-UT ME... I REALIZE Y0UR USING ME BUT I LET IT G0 BECAUSE AT THE TIME.. IM PAYIN F0R Y0UR C0MPANY.. I USED 2 BE ABLE 2 G0 2 MY FAMILY F0R HELP WHEN I NEEDED THEM THE M0ST.. BUT N0W A DAYS.. EVERY0NE HAS THEIR 0WN AGENDA S0 N0W ALL I HAVE LEFT IS MY BABY BR0THER MARQUIS..
THE 0THER DAY.. I WAS FACE 2 FACE WITH MY WORST ENEMY && MY BEST FRIEND... AND ALTH0UGH M0ST 0F THE TIME I TAKE HIS W0RDS F0R GRANTED.. HIS W0RDS MADE TEARS C0ME FROM MY EYES.. THR0UGH EVERYTHING.. WH0 D0 Y0U KN0W Y0U CAN TRUST?! CAN Y0U TRUST Y0USELF?! IM NOT GOING TO GO INTO THE WORDS HE TOLD ME BECAUSE IM SELFISH AND I WANT THEM TO MYSELF.. BUT I REALIZED THAT MANY PEOPLE ACT LIKE THEY CARE... WHEN THEY D0NT.. THEY ACT LIKE THEY LOVE YOU BUT THEY DONT.. FOR THE LONGEST I DIDNT KNOW WHAT LOVE REALLY WAS.. I NEVER REALLY FELT LOVED BY MY PARENTS... MY DADS LOVE WAS MONEY.. && MY MOM TRIED TO HARD..

THE BEST LOVE I EVER FELT WAS FILLED WITH THE MOST DRAMA AG0NY STRUGGLES... THE MOST UNHEALTHY LOVE EVER!! BUT IT WAS LOVE.. ALTHOUGH ALL U EVER HEAR PEOPLE TALK ABOUT IS THE BAD... THERE WAS A LOT OF GOOD TIMES... AND THAT LOVE WAS ALWAYS THERE.. WHENEVER I NEEDED SOMEONE 2 JUST LISTEN WHILE I CRIED A RIVER... THAT L0VE WAS THERE... WHEN TIMES G0T R0UGH & THEY ALL GAVE US THE MIDDLE FINGA WE HAD EACH0THA.. BUT IM L0ST BECAUSE IM C0NFUSED 0N WHATS RIGHT... AND WHATS WR0NG.. L0VE IS A P0WERFUL DRUG..

w0rds cant even explain..

i went 2 sleep at like 11 last night and w0ke up 10 minutes ag0... Theres s0o much g0in 0n right n0w that i d0nt even kn0w where t0 start.. i guess i can start By keepin my w0rd.. thats the least i can d0 in this current situati0n.. 0ne by keepin it s0lid.. f0cusin 0n my sch0ol w0rk.. && n0t lettin thee 0thers.. [[wh0 0f c0urse pr0bably started a hate gr0up against me.]] affect my g0als.. L0VE is a p0werful w0rd and can affect y0ur 0utl0ok 0n life and even y0ur acti0ns.. but my L0VE is a bad L0VE that taints and sp0ils && y0u wiLL b Hurt by it.. [[i d0nt intentionally mean 2 d0 it but it just happens like that]] But y0u L0VE me back.. s0o i pr0mise iLL CHange.. SCh0ol... GRADUATE.. My 0NLy C0NCERN N0w.. N0t w0rried ab0ut any b0ys.. n0w w0rried ab0ut any females.. n0t w0rried ab0ut anything but getting that BA and walking acr0ss that stage 2 make y0u pr0ud!!

WDF!!

H0ME iS N0T A H0ME ANyM0RE!!
WDF!! i WAS S0 EXCiTED 2 C0ME H0ME BUT N0T T0 THiS H0ME!
FACED WiTH PR0BLEMS i CAN N0T C0NTR0LL
0MG S0ME 0NE GET ME A DRiNK!!